Octomom is no Britol Palin!

planned parenthood

Having 14 kids by invitro as an angle to get reality TV series might seem like a kooky idea. Unless you're Nadya Suleman and then it seems pretty smart. Nadya got the bright idea several years back that if she could only get plugged full of anonymous sperm it might not only get her into the Guinness Records, but onto TV in the form of some lucrative peep show type deal. With that end in mind she approached a California fertility specialist and got him to hit her with his best shot. That lead to about 8 kids, in addition to the 6 she already had. Oh yeah and she also had some plastic surgery to make her look more like Angelina Jolie. That move didn't do anything for Hot Lips Voight's career! It didn't do much for the doctor either, who got his license revoked after the Octomom story hit the headlines.

It didn't seem to do much for Suleman either. Though she was on every tabloid cover and cable news channel on earth for awhile, it didn't pan out into the TV career that she'd hoped for. For one thing word leaked that this was some scheme to get rich quick. Friends from as far back as high school reported that Nads had said she wanted to have plenty of kids one day, so that she could make a million by writing a book about it. People didn't approve of using human fertility like that. So she couldn't drum up support.

That left Nadya with 14 kids to raise, many of whom had some developmental and behavioral problems. It also left her with no steady income source. her mother and father pitched in as best the could. Some other support got drummed up. So she moved into a fairly swanky little condo. However not having the same success at single motherhood as Bristol Palin, Nads had some trouble keeping up the payments. That's about the time she stared entertaining offers for porno films!

Thankfully the porno flick never got made. Bob Guccione's Nailin Palin side tracked any possible interest in Suleman's Octopussy project. Look for a sequel to Nailin Palin in the run up to the next pres election! I hear Bob's already auditioning Donald Trump impersonators for a very special scene; but had to throw the real Donald out of auditions several times when the reality TV blow hard kept showing up under assumed names! I think that the hair was a giveaway. As for Suleman, she kept busy with a Gwenyth Paltrow type ferocity. She got herself in shape. She went to the gym for 4 hours or more a day. She told everyone that anyone could do it, if they had her determination! Meanwhile everyone was wondering who was minding the kids while Octo was off doing her 400 plus crunches.

Ferocity and determination only go so far. Even if you're Octomom. In Touch is reporting that the notorious mass breeder is cracking under the strain. I guess they got tired of running stories about that other notorious breeder Angelina Jolie. According to an In Touch story Octomom has started speaking her mind and is letting fly with some pretty pointed comments. For instance she was quoted as saying “I hate [my] babies, they disgust me… wish I never had them.”

Now that's pretty pointed, but it gets worse. Nads goes on to say that:

‘I hate the babies, they disgust me,’ she told InTouch magazine. ‘My older six are animals, getting more and more out of control, because I have no time to properly discipline them.’

‘The only way I can cope is to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. Sometimes I sit there for hours and even eat my lunch sitting on the toilet floor. Anything to get peace and quiet,’ she said.

‘Obviously I love them - but I absolutely wish I had not had them,’

The story also features a picture of one of her kids gnawing on drywall!

Nads also goes on to complain about her quality of life. Her bank account is overdrawn by 300. That's bad because her La Hambra house is in foreclosure. When you're on public assistance that adds up to a desperate situation. Which is partly why Nads spends long hours holed up in the washroom curled up on the floor. Is so much quieter in there, Nads reveals. She'll do anything to get some peace and quiet away from the kids too, whom she refers to on the interview as "animals". Nads goes on to reveal that she sometimes even eats her lunch in there, while squatting on the floor or sitting on the can. In fact the whole situation has pushed Nads to the brink of suicide. ‘Some days I have thought about killing myself. I cannot cope,’ she said. Her only recent time away from the kids and the washroom was an appearance on reality TV match maker show Celebridate! Look for that to appear on the HDNet cable network.

Hang in there Nads! Things can turn around - Lindsay Lohan has recently gotten out of her house arrest.

For more of Nadya's colourful comments, like 'Ever since I was little, I was aware that men wanted me and the hardest thing was keeping them away,' and her confession that she's been celibate for the past 12 years, go to the Daily Mail

If any of you out there are getting any big ideas about misusing your reproductive powers, then stop and remember that you don't need to give birth to a small army of kids to be a Wonder Woman! IN fact you're more likely to wind up another Vickie Pollard!

Dreamboat Annie is a knock out!

actress reverts to feral state!

Annie Hathaway's most recent role is as Catwoman in the up coming Batman. She's taking the role very seriously too. In fact it might be bringing out the young lady's feral steak. Anne was sparring with one of the stunt men a got so involved in her erotica villainess role play that she shoved the but of a gun right into the poor man's eye. Naturally that gave him a headache and a hell of a shiner! Anne seemed rattled by her sudden surge of enthusiasm and of course tried to make nice. Being gracious to the hired help is part of what makes her the class act that she is. The guy reassured her that it was okay, too. however Annie felt the need to go the extra mile. She bought the injured fall guy a silver pen complete with an engraved inscription -"remember no one packs a punch like Anne Hathaway". It's a little keepsake to remember her by, after the swelling goes down!

feral cats & repeat offenders!

Trouble is that this isn't Anne first incident. back when she was doing Bride Wars with Kate Hudson (member her?), there was an altercation on the set. The pair were filming a fight seen and Anne got a little carried away. Apparently she smacked Hudson a little harder than the script called for. Now the gossip rags wrote this up as an amusing incident that was only a part of the scripted scene. Ting is that Kate had been riding Anne pretty hard about her 'loser boyfriend' at the time Raffaello Follieri (a name Anne probably hopes that she'll never hear again, and probably won't as long as the poor sod is rotting away in his 8 x 12!)! "Loser boyfriend" were Kate's words.

Catwoman's life of crime

By way of back story, though everyone still remembers, Raf was a high flying Italian entrepreneur who was making a mint off of naive American business men by telling them that he was selling Church real estate on the sly for the Vatican. One of the folks he cheated was Ron Buckle, a billionaire who runs some kind of dept store chain. in addition to that he was also a good buddy of Bull Clinton, and sank a ton into both Bull's campaign and that of his wife Hilary. In fact when Bull hang's out in LA he's stays at the Buckle estate, when he's not crashing with David Geffen! The Buckle connection got Raf and Annie invited to many White House to do's before everything went horribly wrong!

a brief history of catfights

Anyhow Kate was teasing Anne about this, as girls are wont to do. Next thing you know there was smack across the kisser with plenty of snots and tears following! Though everyone said that it was a stunt gone wrong, when you have estrogen and boy talk and then punch comes to shove, who can say? You've all been through high school so you know how it is. Many people figured that Anne might have deliberately hauled off and nailed her. Since Kate was the hot young actress of the day, and getting so carried away with that she was strutting around like her shit didn't stink, most people were willing to give Anne a pass on it. Believe me that the blind eye came with a friendly wink and a smile!

violent femmes - "It was my PMS, I swear!"

The thing is that the most recent occurrence makes this Anne's second, that we know off. Fact is that we don't know how many people she may have clobbered that we've never heard about! As far as we know pretty Annie might be prowling around hoped up on Starbucks, Red Bull, and who knows what, until she's like Britney Spears channeling Mike Tyson. Before you know it she's crazier than Bjork at the airport check in line!Meanwhile the whole thing gets covered up - as usual - to protect a major Hollywood asset, and MK Ultra monarch slave (Anne is currently being programmed with kitten scripting - see Fritz Springmeier!). Though that keeps the carpet from getting pulled out from under her career, as Linda Hogan would put it; it prevents her from getting the help she needs. That's just what happened to Megan Fox with her Tourette's Syndrome, and both Mischa Barton and Heather Locklear with their secret drinking. Now you might say that I've got my tin foil hat on too tight, but you've got to admit that it looks like Annie has some impulse control issues. Let's put it this way - don't piss her off or Annie will knock you the fuck out!

Wrestling the Hulk - My Life against the Ropes

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Hogan no hero

According to Linda Hogan her ex husband was a Hulk in more than name only. IN her new book entitled Wrestling the Hulk Linda reveals that she was subjected to every sort of abuse. She was beaten, slapped, pinned to the bed, and once the Hulk even put his hands around her throat. The former Mrs Hulk claims that it was scary. She even told Mattt Lauer that she was afraid she would wind up as a statistic, like Nicole Brown Simpson. Linda then went on to describe some of those incidents:

'He tore my shirt, held me down on the bed with his hands around my throat. I was always afraid he would kill me in one of his rages. But it was scary. I did not know how far he would go.'

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

So what exactly git into the Hulkster, besides his famous combo of prayer, training, & vitamins? According to Linda it was the usual plethora of drugs & steroids which help comprise day to day life for pro wrestling gladiators. According to Linda:

'Wrestlers had a reason to do every kind of drug and narcotic around and help numb them from the pain of what they were doing.' she said.
'Drugs were around, there was a constant flow pain killers inflammatory and a lot of them did take steroids.'
Asked why she did not say anything about the drug use she added: 'That was not my position to do.
'As long as he was in the ring and they were being prescribed that was up to him. But it did change him.'

Hulk Smash!

So what made her keep quiet about years of drug fuel abuse and various other mayhem, like serial cheating? Cynics would say that having a new book to promote might have soemthing top do with it. After all, now that her reality TV career has come to an end, she's kind of hard pressed for opportunities to make ends meet. 25 year old pool boys don't usually hang with 52 year old pro wrestling molls because they prefer maturity and experience to Victoria Secret swimsuit models. However Linda has another explanation. According to her if she'd said anything about the abuse, then the Hulk's career would be over! In her own words to Matt Lauer, 'I was quiet and afraid to say anything,' she said. 'Had I said something the carpet would have been pulled from under his career.' The abuse didn't stop he from appearing in their reality TV series Hogan Knows Best either. Now that she's got some independent projects going, she no doubt feels freer about blowing the whistle on the big lug's brutish ways.

BTW Megan Fox is getting back in the news ever since word broke that Hitler got her fired by way of Steven Spielberg. Michael bay hung int here for her, but you just can't save some people from themselves. That's even more true if they're over sexed young actresses with over active mouths! So the result is that we won't be getting to see Meggers in the new 3D sequel! To emphasize that point her former co star Shia LaBouef (He's the sensitive young actor who's not currently being sued over illicit poker winnings) was on Today to talk about how he was the emotional glue (I used to sniff that stuff back in high school), and how Transformers is even better than the other Transformers, even without Mrs. Foxy!

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Notice how he says that not only is the story better, but that Meggers 'was' a friend of his, in the past tense. Man that's one tough business! Hang in there Meggers, cause I'm sure that there's work for you. Wonder what people would like to see you in.

Love, & Politics, America Style!

Sarah Palin is flirting again, and with more than the presidency. Wondertrash has previously posted about how Sarah has invested in a swanky spread down in Arizona (almost $2 million worth of swank!), and left husband Todd north in Alaska. They are hammering out a top secret divorce deal, but that isn't gonna be finalized until after the 2012 election. Sarah wants to keep everything as traditional as possible for the campaign, which means that Todd's has to appear at her side.

if you can't get God on your side, then settle for Billy Graham!

Meanwhile Alaska Annie is getting friendly with a traditional sort of guy. For one thing he's a kind of preacher. For another he's a family man, complete with a wife. Now you can't get more traditional than that, when it come's to adultery anyway. You've probably even heard of the guy. He's got a familiar name. The name is Franklin Graham and it sounds familiar because his dad is Confidante to Presidents Billy Graham! Billy is so close to the tops that when George W wanted to learn how to do the Christian thing, Billy went up to Camp David for 3 days to give him the Bible 101 introductory course!

prayer breakfasts & just desserts

We don't know exactly when Sarah met Frankie, but she did come to his defense over some National Prayer Breakfast thing in in Wash DC, back in 2010. Frankie was banned from giving his usual address because he'd called Islam a hateful and violent religion. Actually he called it "very evil & wicked". It's important to be specific about that since most religions have their violent streak. Personally I thought adding the "very" was a bit too much, especially when talking about the beliefs of others.

half baked Alaskan

Some general or other thought this was inflammatory, and maybe even provocative. So Frankie got banned. Sarah spoke up and demanded he be allowed to attend and give his talk. I guess she figured that it was no worse than posting pix of politicos on your website, framed with bull's eyes, who later get shot by unstable types - Gabrielle Giffords. You have to cut some slack in the Age of the Internet. At least we haven't seen Sarah's mature treasures exposed on Twitter, yet.

Tea Bag Air

Well anyway the pair really seemed to hit it off. They've even taken some romantic overseas trips together. this was facilitated by Franklin's use of a corporate jet at his disposal. Franklin is a big deal in some thing called The Samaritan's Purse. That an org set up by his father to disperse money around to worthy causes, like buying $38.3 million dollar airplanes to shuttle former Alaskan governors around in. When you're fighting the good fight you can't get hung up on details! They've gone to Haiti together, and Frankie has even lend Sarah the use of the jet for some of her Tea Bag Tours. Specifically he had the Samaritan's Purse flight crew shuttle her from Roanoke Va to Montreat NC, for a book signing!

hanky panky

Now anyone might lend their $40 mill jet to an attractive woman in need, especially if she's late for a book signing. How doe this prove that there's hanky panky going on? Well the talk is getting kind of personal. An unnamed source - and don't knock em cause they were right about John Edwards! - says that Frankie is constantly going on and on about what an amazing women the former Alaskan Governor is. He's even describes her as beautiful, charismatic, and incredible. To hear him talk you'd think she had bullet proof bracelets or something! The source then goes onto say that this is odd because Franklin never talks about his lawfully wedded wife Jane! That's born out by the Samaritan's Purse website which has 15 mentions of Sarah, but not one - as of the Glove article's publication - of Franklin's long suffering wife. I'm guessing that Janie doesn't get much use of the jet either!

North to Alaska

Now if this wasn't bad enough the plot thickens. Frankie is buying a second home. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're a well heeled Evangelical with $40 mill of good will money to drop on jet planes, rather than out of them and onto the poor, then you've probably got enough spare loot for an extra house or to. The problem with this house is the problem with most business - location, location, location. This location is gonna be in Port Alsworth in where else? - the great state of Alaska. In fact Frankie is planning to ride his motor bike up there this summer! Maybe he thinks that will make some kind of macho impression, though it seems way too high school! I guess when you're a preacher's kid you've got something to live down; though this seems more like a stunt that would impress Bristol than a mature and sophisticated woman of the world planning to run for high office!

said it on the grapevine

Naturally this has people talking. So far, besides unnamed tabloid sources, they're Internet bloggers. Some of them are saying things like "those two are joined at the hip". Others are saying that they'd bet any money that the pair are 'getting it on'. If they're as poor off as the average blogger then it's a safe bet - even if they're wrong you'd never collect based on the blood from a turnip principle.



Now no one listens to Internet bloggers - a fact of which I'm personally aware. However Sarah is an attractive woman allegedly at loose ends. So stuff can happen, especially if desperate Housewives is any indication. Plus with the well known antics of those rowdy Palin daughters there just might be a wayward streak in the family. The point is that if Sarah doesn't watch her step then she might get shit on her pretty little moccasins. It wouldn't be the first time that some one who was supposed to know better got the pubes caught in the barbed wire of bad press; Tony Weiner, Arnie Schwarzenegger, Elliot Spitzer, Gary Hart, Bull Clinton, the list goes on. It's too soon to say whether Sarah's gonna get herself onto that list; but if we know anything about her it's that the wacky broad is a magnet for kooky publicity! So let's call this a developing story. Let's just hope that their sneaking around turns out to be more interesting than Daniel Craig & Rachel Weisz.

Dirty Sexy Politics

innocent gossip

Many people say "celebrity gossip" with a smirk and a role of the eyes. It's as if they think there were more serious things to talk about. Things like politics, for instance. Now the more frivolous minded among us, like myself, hear "politics" and think "oh right, go on and be a pain in the ass if you want to and see if I care". While they prattle on about amendment whatever I'll be over in the tabloid section of the newsstand reading about OJ Simpson's love child with Lindsay Lohan (BTW Lindsay has failed her most recent drug test taken during her house arrest. She tested positive for alcohol. I like the way she stays positive even during continued adversity. Hang in there kid!).

tabloid memories

If you've been hanging around the shit rags in an attempt to avoid hard news then you've probably noticed something disturbing: the encroachment of politics into the wold of celebrity gossip. Once upon a time you were safe between the pages of a super market tabloid. There, among Bigfoot, UFO's, and Doris Day's Hollywood memories you didn't have to worry about to much reality. It was good campy fun with a sly measure of social satire.

politics sleazes up a good thing again

Suddenly and insidiously stories about high powered politicos started creeping in. Suddenly you couldn't avoid reading about Arnold Schwarzenegger's numerous love brood in an article featured near a picture of Anthony Weiner in women's underwear. Desperate and betrayed Washington housewives gazed out weepily from among the gossip articles as if competing for space with Charlie Tiger Blood Sheen. Would Maria Schiver and Huma Abedin seek closure together on Oprah? Oprah might be working on it!

scandal is where politics meets gossip!

So when did politics become as much fun as show business? Certainly the whole John Edwards fiasco helped it along. When it gave the National Enquirer a credibility boost by putting them in the running for a Pulitzer Prize it was just the sort of encouragement the gutter media needed! It goes back farther than that though. Maybe it started back when Ronnie Reagan became the first B Actor to really play President on TV. Though it seemed like a lame idea at the time it worked out so well for the republican servants of evil (if you don't know about the Republican Party's link to Satanism & the occult then you really ought to check out our sister blog Area 51. Let's just say that the back room boys like to worship a demon called Mollech down at Bohemian Grove.) the politics as show bis began to catch on in a way it hadn't since Kennedy turned the 1960 presidential debate into some kind of a beauty pageant. Everyone knew that Richard Nixon just didn't have a chance when it came to the swim suit competition, and had probably already blown it by the evening gown section.

Sarah Palin- Ronald Reagan in lipstick?

Anyway the upshot is that in the age of reality TV - which makes some nostalgic for the good old days of infotainment - celebrity politics has caught on with a vengeance. No one seems more poised to be come Ronald Reagan in lipstick than Sarah Palin! With her I Love Lucy sex appeal and her zany sit com antics she's taken America by storm. Though she burst onto the scene as John McCain's running mate, people seemed to be more interested in her colorful personal life than any policies she might have. People wanted to know about her children's bizarre names, or about the time she was a beauty queen. When she feuded with David Letterman it was news and when she finally had her daytime summit with Oprah Winfrey it was an event. Then there was her teen age daughter Bristol.

Bristol Palin: Abstinence is great as long as it doesn't interfere with your sex life!

Now at first glance it seems that there would be a lot more interesting folk about than Bristol the Pistol. She was a kind of average looking high school student. She didn't seem to have many serious political views other than a support of abstinence in theory if not in practice. She was more likely to be behind the bleachers than at a protest. Her big claim to fame, besides her mother, was that she's gotten knocked up. So that made her a celebrity in her own right. She did Dancing With The Stars, & she has a biography out Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far (if Britney then why not Bristol). By the title I assume that it's one of those inspirational bios like Denise Richards has just penned. She probably stole it from the song title of some American Idol competitor. When did being full of shit become with it?

not so far - rites of pissage

Bristol's journey so far ain't slowing down either. The young lady has just marked another important rite of passage; like getting knocked up in high school and doing reality TV. She's had her first hi profile public catfight - feud. Bristol has made some unflattering remarks about Meghan McCain. Meghan is the daughter of John McCain, who was Sarah's running mate and nominal mentor before she went rogue.

Sarah plain and all

Now if you'll recall those heady days of the last presidential election - John picked out Sarah as his vice presidential candidate after a 2 hour search on Google because after 6 years in a Vietnamese POW camp he apparently didn't want to be president and thought that Sarah Palin was just the dingbat to blow the election for him. John had been trying to dodge the bullet of big ideas, usually imposed on him by his family, since his days in naval academy. Back then he tried to get out of things by crashing jets, they way John F Kennedy used to through dangerous sex with "strange pieces of ass". Since his dad was some kind of an admiral or something calls got made and strings got pulled. John graduated naval academy in spite of himself and his best efforts. After that it was on down his life path like grain through a goose's gullet. To whom much is given much is asked and all that - Oh how the other half lives. Anyway it wasn't until Sarah came into his life that he successfully dodged the call to glory. It takes a woman's touch and as far as that goes Ms. Palin is a real winner!

maverick or rogue - the old grey mare is the same old nag

So McCain and Palin had to be friends now for awhile, since the were running for public office together. It's kind of like dance partners on DWTS - "we might start screwing each other in real life" McCain intro'd his new dance partner as a "maverick". I don't know whether that means Sarah is accustomed to wearing a saddle and bridle bit, but the idea seemed to catch on in an irritating sort of way. It also required the McCains to make a trip to the barren wilds of Alaska - where the climate is as frosty as the female McCains' snotty demeanor. Bristol picked up on that right away. Having been around the block once or twice makes you more perceptive.

"Think of me as like a knocked up out of wedlock Laura Ingells"

Bristol paid Cindy McCain, John's wife, the sort of back handed compliment of say that she was like a Queen, or at least like some one who played one on TV. The real Queen is actually much frumpier. As for McCain's daughter Meghan, well Bristol didn't take to her one bit. You'd think that two young women with parents in politics would be glad to pal around, but that stuck up Meghan came off like Nelly Olson to Bristol's jumped up town tramp let whomever. In fact Meggers made such a foul impression that Bristol couldn't help forming some very definite opinions. Those opinions are stated in Bristol's aforementioned inspirational memoir, but will be reposted here for readers' convenience:

Palin writes that the first time she met the 26-year-old daughter of Sen. John McCain, she "ignored us during the entire visit." This was just before Senator McCain introduced Sarah Palin as his running mate. Palin adds that she "had a sneaking suspicion I might need to watch my back."

"Every time we saw Meghan, she seemed to be constantly checking us out, comparing my family to hers and complaining," she writes. "Oh the complaining."

"I'd never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup," Palin writes.

not so fast - a folksy chimp who's been around the block

Bristol might not like little snobs but she knows the better brand names! I'm sure she's seeing even more Louis Vuitton since she got out of caribou country and took the world by storm. I'm not sure what her utterances are doing for her mother's 2012 political aspirations. Maybe it makes her look like a folksy chip off of the old block. Sarah will be hungry for publicity in the next 18 months so Bristol might come in handy. The way Moma Palin's been tearing around in her tour bus, riding Harley's through the streets of Chicago, and tet et teting with The Donald ("I really like the way you shook Obama up and maybe I could use you in my campaign!"); then she ain't to fussy about how she gets it. So a teenage pregnancy autobio combined with some public mouthing off might seem like a good idea.

Rogues and wild cards

However Sarah might want to think twice for once. These publicity stunts sometimes have a way of backfiring, especially when unpredictable young women are involved - remember the short lived reality TV project Bristol had in mind with ex sperm donor Levi Johnson (and don't think that the liberal media ain't gonna drag him up in time to derail the Palin bandwagon - so he's some one else we're gonna be seeing more of). After all going rogue does run in the family - at least among those zany Palin womenfolk. If the shit hits the fan then whatever chances Sarah's got could go up in a puff of sound bites and late nite monologue zingers. While that might make politics a lot more gossipy, it would make gossip a lot sleazier. There's been too much of that already!


Now here's some more of that Hollywood mind control series:

Spiderman has sticky fingers

actor superhero scandal crossovers!

If you're former movie Spiderman Tobey Maguire then you win some and you lose some. Especially if you dabble in illegal high stakes poker games! Maguire is one of many A Listers who meet for top secret hi stakes pokers game about twice a week. The hot shots like to meet at luxury suites in Beverly Hills hotels for Texas Hold'em. Tobe's is one of the better players, and has allegedly won about 1 million over the past year! So how did he also lose 'em?

When there are better players there are also bitter players. One of those bitter players is a hedge fund manager named Brad Ruderman. Ruderman is a CEO of Ruderman Capital Partners. Now if gambling hedge fund managers give's you the chills it gets worse. Brad was gambling with company funds! That's how the FBI got involved. They claim the Ruderman has lost about $25 million of investor funds during these illegal poker games.

For those of you who find these sort of shenanigans disturbing then I'm happy to give you some closure. Mr Ruderman has been convicted of wire fraud, and 2 counts of investment advisor fraud. So he's currently cooling his heels in a Texas jail until 2018. Though he lost about 300 000 to Tobey Spiderman Maguire, he ain't the only hi roller to get rolled. Rumor has it that there was also a billionaire businessman, a record label owner, and a director.

Now here's where it get's sticky. Seems that this whole deal has gotten into civil court. Tobey is getting sued over some of his winnings. The former CEO's former clients are taking Tobey to court to try and get some of the loot back! The suit has been filed in US Bankruptcy Court in Los Angeles. The idea is that since the games were illegal, by invitation only, and had a cast of regulars; then Tobey may be some how legally liable for some of that money he wasn't supposed to have won.

‘As part of the scheme, funds invested in (Ruderman) were transferred to persons such as Defendant (Maguire), who received the funds on account of Ruderman’s gambling losses and on account of Defendant’s gambling winnings.,’ Radar Online reported from court documents.

Naturally Tobey has hired lawyers to help him keep his ill gotten gains. He also maintains that the games were not illegal. So this thing could go the full 9 yards in court. Now crooked investment fund managers squandering honest folks' money on gambling and strippers - I don't know whether or not strippers were involved but this is gossip so use your imaginations - might sound a little too 2008 to be interesting, remember that some hi profile movers and shakers were regulars at the Texas Hold'em matches. So far directors and record label owners have been mentioned, plus 'plenty of A Listers'. So if Tobey is determined to fight this who knows who's name cold get dragged through the muck when they get called as witnesses ( Leo DeCaprio had to be in on this thing, right?). Then there bound to be all kinds of colorful supporting players in the form of cocktail waitresses, sleazy girlfriends, not to mention the aforementioned strippers. So keep you eyes peeled on Court TV to see this thing play out. That is unless pressure is brought to bear, to make Tobey drop everything and shut the fuck up before to many delicate reputations get punctured beyond repair in the Age of Scandal! I hope one of those sleazy strippers had a Wonder Woman thing going on, just like that one who got caught on security cam with Robert Downey Ironman Junior!

Roger Ebert vs Ryan Dunn

Yesterday's post covered how Megan Fox's big mouth deep sixed her car as a brainless sex kitten. When you're a celebrity you have to think of your mouth as a loaded gun with a hare trigger - it could go off at the wrong time and ruin everything if you're not careful with it. Just look at Mel Gibson! Speaking of drunk drivers that brings us to the sad case of Ryan Dunn. Dunn was the popular a star of the popular Jackass series. Ryan died the other day after a drunk driving accident. As it turned out Ryan had been in the bar drinking until about 2:00 in the morning, when he and a friend got into the car to make their way home. At 2:38 Dunn had a fatal accident. Witnesses from the bar say Dunn had at least 6 drinks over the course of the evening.

Tragedy brings out the jerk in celebs

That brings us to Roger Ebert. Ebert lately has a habit of indiscreet tweeting. He made some Mark Twain related comments, specifically about the use of some racially loaded terms in the author's work, that raised some hackles. Ebert got a pass on that because his wife is black, much the way Ted Danson got a pass on his blackface routine back in his Friar's Club days because he was dating Whoopee Goldberg. Ted didn't get a complete pass cause he said some very bad shit; Whoopee defended him and then dropped him, and his motion picture career was over. Unlike Michael Richards he was still allowed to show his non blackened face in public and continued to get a measure of respect. How time's have changed is something for Dr. Laura to sadly reflect on, and discuss with her 6000 Twitter followers (that's a come down).

I have something to share with the world - my opinion!

Ebert's latest unfortunate tweet involves Dunn. Though nobody asked him, Rog felt the need to share his opinion with the rest of the world. Must have something to do with being a film critic (bloggers have the same problem only moreso). Just after the news broke Ebert posted “Friends don’t let Jackasses drink and drive”. You can probably guess how that went down. Bam Magera responded “I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of sh*t roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents”. Bam later added, “Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f*cking mouth!” Rog sure is making cancer survivors look less sympathetic!

"Come on, I couldn't have done anything worse than Tony Weiner!"

It get's worse. Rog has a Facebook page. No celeb just as a Twitter page since you just can't do you're image enough damage with one outlet. You've got to have Facebook too. It's kind of like shooting yourself in the foot with both barrels. Anyhow some of Dunn's fans got quite upset about Mr Ebert's comments, and so they complained to Facebook. Facebook to the step of deactivating Ebert's page. Ebert didn't take this too kindly, in fact he was more torn up about losing his page than the passing of Mr. Dunn. So Ebert once again took it upon himself to make his feeling public (he should probably stop doing that - at least for awhile). Ebert said, “Facebook has removed my page in response, apparently, to malicious complaints from one or two jerks”. Ebert added, “Facebook! My page is harmless and an asset to you. Why did you remove it in response to anonymous jerks? Makes you look bad”. It's just peachy that he added the part about looking bad.

harmless ass refuses to be anonymous

Ebert should probably be thanking the good people at Facebook. With the way he's been running his mouth lately he doesn't need more medium. Basically they were exercising a discretion on his behalf that he has lately been unable to exercise for himself. Besides, he's now dangerously close to the "3 strikes and you're out" line. One more quip from Rog and the majority of his Twitter action might come from retweets by Dr Laura and the rest of the rogue's gallery. Still you have to give him some credit. While he can be a jerk, he's never been an anonymous jerk. Harmless asset might be overstating things though. I consider him more of a harmless ass. The only thumbs up this time is the one up his ass. Rog time to shut it before the gallery get's closed indefinitely. Meanwhile the rest of us can only wonder what makes successful and supposedly intelligent people become self destructive fools the minute they get a Twitter account? There must be a little jackass in all of us - RIP Ryan Dunn!

BTW every fictitious person has a Twitter these days. Not just the professionally fictitious either, but some of the genuinely fictitious personalities!



Now here's more in that Hollywood Mind Control series:



Update: Ebert fans, and those morbidly curious enough to wonder what he'll say next, will be glad to hear that the complaining paid off. Ebert has his facebook page back!

Megan Fox's Big Mouth Got Her In Trouble

Remember when Megan Fox got fired off of Transformers 3? Everyone thought that Michael Bay had some kind of a grudge against her because of the shit she was constantly talking when ever anyone pointed a microphone in her direction. She said stuff like all actresses are whores, that she was a man, and a tranny, and Alan Alda, that men are afraid of vaginas, and basically so much random foolishness that Dr Drew was ready to slap a Tourette's Syndrome diagnosis on her. Oh yeah, and she also called Michael Bay Hitler.

So when her hot little ass got canned off of the latest transformers flick (she was replaced by that Brit model who's had too much plastic surgery and looks a little like a boxer who went too many rounds in the ring - except for the cauliflower ears) no one was too surprised. People figured that bay went all Hitler on Megger's and fired her for insubordination - that's a fancy word for showing a lack of respect. Bay swore he didn't take the Hitler crack personally. Then stories started floating around about Megger's losing too much weight and getting into some God awful fights with her significant other Brian Austin Green. The fights were so bad that police were frequently called in by neighbors to split the love birds up. That's when everyone thought "drugs".

Bay has recently made a statement revealing what actually happened to Megan Fox. It was and it wasn't what you think. Bay said that it was the Hitler comment that got her fired, but that it wasn't his idea. According to Bay she was signed and sealed for the 3rd Transformers flick - Dark Moon. Then she gave an unfortunate interview to Britain's Wonderland Magazine. That's the one where she said that Bay wanted to be Hitler on the set. Bay says that Transformers producer Steven Spielberg got wind of it and wasn't too happy. According to Bay, Spielberg called him up about it and told him to get rid of Fox. Since Hollywood is a town that runs on a pecking order Bay did what he was told. No sense in both of them being out of work.

So now you have the inside story on what ever happened to Megan Fox. Here big mouth really did catch up with her. The only unanswered question is why the hell is Bay coming out and revealing that now? Pointing the finger at Spielberg like that seems like telling tales out of school. My only guess would be that Bay expects Transformers 3 to tank bad at the box office and he doesn't want to be left holding the bag. Plus Spielberg may be at the end of his productive years in Hollywood. You had to guess that the sun was setting for him when Johnny Depp returned from exile and Joaquin Phoenix went nuts on David Letterman - but the story behind those cryptical comments is for another day.


Now here's another segment in that Hollywood brainwashing series.

Belle’s Kitchen

Fans of The Food Network’s Paula Deen might be in for a bit of a surprise. That’s because a former employee of Dern’s has some startling allegations to make. In fact she’s already made them, and the gist of it is that Deen might not be the person that you think she is. The employee is Renee Mincey, and she worked for Deen in her Savannah Georgia eatery called The Lady & Sons. Back then Mincey worked in the kitchen, and that gave her a behind the scene’s view of what went on. What went on was strange shit that might make the hair on the back of your head stand up on end. It might also make your stomach do a few spins too.

For instance once Deen was having the staff mix up a mess of stuffing in a large vat. Deen decided to get her hands dirty so she rolled up her sleeves and shoved in her fist, to give the stuffing a good old-fashioned stir. Now that sort of two fisted food prep might make some of the more squeamish among you get a little green around the gills but I’ve got bad news, it gets worse. While Deen was up to her elbows in stuffing she lost an artificial nail. This is a problem because the recipe didn’t include false nails. So the staff spent about an hour and a half dredging the stuffing looking for Deen’s lost talon. It turned out to be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Meanwhile the customers are getting a bit restless. So Deen decides ‘what the hell’ and sends the stuffing out with the nail included. Think of it as a free prize, just like Crackerjacks and breakfast cereal used to include.

Anyone can have an off day. Especially if they’re doing things that they’re not supposed to be doing. However Mince claims that this was pretty much par for the course as far as The Lady & Sons were concerned. That’s partly because Deen had such bad habits. For instance she was known to take food off of customers plates. That was usual. Before something might get sent out to the table Deen wold shove a pudgy paw into the plate, pull out a choice morsel, and then shove it into her face. This was just to find out of the food was up to scratch. Problem was that Deen would do this bare handed. According to Mincey her hands were often unwashed!

Paula had even more disturbing habits. For instance she would routinely eat the scraps left behind on customers’ plates. It didn’t stop at the plates either. If Paula couldn’t intercept the goodies from the plates being brought back into the kitchen, then she’d follow the goodies all the way tot the trash. She’d eat the food right out of the garbage can! Mincey remembers a particular incident involving a chicken leg. The plate got back to the kitchen with a chicken drumstick still on board. Deen wasn’t fast enough so the drumstick got tossed into the trash. The drumstick must’ve been particularly succulent, or else Deen was having some kind of medication side effect because Deen reached right down into the trash can, pulled out the drumstick, and started gnawing away! Let’s hope Deen doesn’t use the wold “I wouldn’t serve anything I wouldn’t eat myself” promotion!

According to Mincey Deen was more than a slob. She was also a bully! Now when Mincey was first hired at The Lady & Sons she thought that Deen was the finest kind of person. That is until Mincey got herself knocked up. Then, even though pregnant, Mincey had to continue working a 70 hour work week. Since she already had a family to support, she wasn't in any position to say no. Fortunately her doctor intervened for her, and ordered mandatory bed rest. When Mincey called Deen, from the hospital, to explain the situation, Deen didn’t want to accept it. So eventually the doctor had to intervene. He phoned Deen to explain the situation to her in no uncertain terms.

That seemed to put a strain on their relationship. Mincey says that Deen never once called during the pregnancy to find out how her employee was doing. Nor did she offer any congratulations once Mincey had given birth. Worse still, when Miney eventually did return to work she got a demotion. She was moved from the kitchen into waitressing. Deen explained this as being better for Mincey’ s family situation. Mincey says she wasn’t sure how that worked out since she had to do more hours and more work for less pay. Worse still Deen eventually got rid of Mincey by accusing her of stealing. Mincey forgot to charge a customer for a buffet and Deen decided oit was a theft. So she gave Mincey the boot! Mincey says she was devastated since she looked on her co workers as family - except for Deen who was nothing but a bully.

Naturally Paula Deen denies all of this. When contacted by the Notional Enquirer - who’s carrying the story - Deen’s publicist says that the stories are nothing more than hot air. The spin doctor claims that Mincey is an ex employee with a grudge. She got canned fair and square for poor job performance, customer complaints, and oh yeah stealing! Deen's spin doctor wasn’t too happy about allegations of unsanitary kitchen practices either. The rep said that was ‘vulgar’ and untrue, then went on to remind the NE that Deen is a hard working woman and a generous employer. As for Mincey, she claims that “It’s time for her fans to find out what kind of a person she really is”. Now doesn't that just take the cake?


Now here's more of that MK Ultra Hollywood series:

Love American Style

look, she thinks she's people!

After you've been a call girl - allegedly (bloggers love that word cause when ever we saying anything libelous we can squeeze it in like "reverse tag" in some school yard game - you're safe or so you think; depending on whether the other person is playing games too, or if they mean business), a B movie actress, and involved in one of the nastiest ugliest bust ups in recent memory then there are only two options for an encore. You can get Phil Spector to blow your dental work out, or you can write an inspirational memoir. Since Phil is currently out of circulation - he performed one too many encores - Denise Richards has opted for the latter. Her dental work, if not the reading public, thanks her for it too!

staying current

Now like I say Denise has been a busy little beaver who's had many fingers in her pie - is that the way that saying goes? - but the big thing that makes her interesting instead of merely a curiosity, is her marriage to Warlock Charlie Sheen! That's because anything Charlie gets close to becomes interesting. When he hooks up with some random slut, the gal becomes a Twitter celebrity over night. When he goes on Livestream everyone watches. Now Anthony Weiner has resigned via livestream, even though before Charlie no one other than hard core nerds even knew what the fuck Livestream was. Personally I think that Weiner should never have resigned. He ought to have flipped the fuck out, forced some kind of impeachment, then turned around and sued for breach of contract! Weiner's no warlock. He's no Bill Clinton either. Clinton got caught with his finger in the cookie jar and he didn't step aside for worthier lesser men like Al Gore. Clinton himself might have quipped "I ain't resigning, I get more skin as President!"

Just call him "Dick Cox"!

It could've been worse. Weiner's first name could've been "Dick" Then Conan O Brien would've had an aneurism. Back to the topic at hand. Sheen managed to make even a brain dead slut like Denise Richards interesting which God knows must qualify him as some kind of warlock. Denise did make some contributions during the divorce, moistly through her stupid vicious scheming. If you'll recall she accused Charlie of being into 'borderline porn', claimed that he was addicted to pills that he got online - also the source of his porn, and that his brains were addled with conspiracy theories picked up from people like Alex Jones and David Icke. For those who don't know abut Icke he's the former Brit sportscaster who now makes a living telling people that the Queen of England is a giant shape shifting lizard. That makes Icke interesting too, if only because a bad acid trip, again allegedly, completely shape shifted his life! You can read more about Mr. Icke and his ilk on our other other blog Area 51! As for the interesting Denise, she also got laughed out of a judges office after asking for an emergency hearing because she said her girls were touching themselves funny after returning from a visit to their father's (and they still keep Tila Tequila in the dog house!).



Take that jealous haters! Anyhow the whole Denise and Charlie thing was a case of push coming to shove with a vengeance. People were calling it the divorce of the century basically because they were trying to be optimistic. We were really waiting for the shit to really hit the fan & the whole scenario to go OJ Simpson! It might have - depending on whether or not Charlie is really as allegedly crazy as he allegedly pretends - if Denise hadn't taken some time out from all the pressure of being a full time professional bitch to go and mess up her BFF Heather Locklear's marriage to Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora.



To fill you in on that inspirational episode in the amazing life of Ms Richards: basically she was busy screwing the cock off of Sambora while Sambora's wife Locklear was wandering around all drunk and dazed and unsuspecting. Denise decided to take the game to the next level basically because she probably thought that busting up Locklear's marriage would be like taking candy from a drunken comatose baby! So she left some sexy e mails about what a stud and a winner Sambora was on Sambora laptop where Heather was sure to find them.

Sure enough Heather did. She sued for divorce and then went on a major bender alcoholic relapse of David Hasselhoff proportions. The result was that Locklears years of secret drinking came out in the open as well as Denise's on the side slutting around. Denise claimed that she was just trying to make herself feel better because her mother was dying of cancer - call that the John Edwards Defense. Perhaps that's why people forgave Charlie when come colourful phone messages of him ranting about Denise's "dead mom" got released, no doubt by Denise herself. Denise is all heart, if her heart is between her legs and has herpes - allegedly. People also seemed to forgive Richards too. You'd have taken a dog to the vet for behavior like that but most people started giving Denise credit for being more intelligent than they thought. Just like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.



So the upshot is that for a bleached brained tramp Denise has done enough to fill up several tabloid type bios. None of it was very inspirational, unless you were a staff writer for Arron Spelling, in which case you were probably taking notes! However life moves on. Charlie got involved with his slut de jour Brooke Mueller who was pretty much a Denise Part Duex. Denise did some quick calculations - even the dumbest slut is capable of basic math if you just tack some dollar signs in front of the numbers (Shit I think that some of these tramps could solve equations for Stephen Hawking if you just put the "$$" in the right places) - and realized that she was making her money from alimony payments and not divorce settlements. That meant she had to build him up, so he would be well liked and earn more money for her, instead of tearing him down so people wold blame him and make a judge give his money to her. So suddenly Charlie was a wonderful man and an incredible father who didn't look at underage porn or cause his daughter's to act funny after unsupervised visits.

Not that's a lot of about turns to keep up with but people managed. They must of because Deni$e seemed to be getting some credit for being something other than a soulless rapacious whore. She was interviewed on TV talk shows and treated with respect, interested of ridicule and derision. People asked her if she were losing any sleep over Charlie. Basically they were acting like she had genuine thoughts and feelings instead of a bundle of nasty, insistent little urges and drives (the difference between people and psychopaths). It was getting to the point where soon they might begin asking her who she supported for president, or what she thought about the environment!

Now when you've spent significant portions of your life on your knees with your mouth open (allegedly) this kind of credibility, and even respect, is a little different. You're just not used to people treating like a person instead of a burnt out fuck doll with a grudge. It's a glimpse into how the other half live that can turn your head a bit. Hell, Denise got right carried away. The poor fuck for brains probably even started thinking thaty she was actually in love with Charlie or something, after so much unaccustomed positive reinforcement. So this positive reinforcement has some side effects. Basically it's sent Denise out fishing for more - praise and of course money - by writing a new book!

The book is not gonna be a tell all - in Denise's case all would be too much to tell for any mere book, though you can find much of it in back issues of your favorite super market shit rags, or even in this very blog! Denise is billing it as - wait for it and try not to faint - an ‘inspirational’ memoir. At least that's what she's telling the good people over @ Radaronline! Now it might be inspirational to know that Denise actually can write, like Vanna White when she put out her inspirational memoir several years back. Denise maintains that her unsuspected literacy skills aren't the only thing that makes this inspirational. She wants to tell the world about he ove story - a love story with Charlie that 'became what it became'. Says Denise:

"I get into the good stuff about my marriage, because people have only read the rotten stuff," she said, describing the content of the book which is due for release on July 27.
"So, you know, there was a beautiful love story between he and I and then it went the way it went. But I talk more about how I felt during that time, because I think a lot of women can relate to that going through a divorce and custody and being a single parent, trying to work and all that stuff."

"Well it's not a tell-all, but it's hopefully something that's inspiring. I went through a whole lot and I get asked a lot of questions about that time in my life, so I figured I would write my story and hopefully anyone that has been, you know, dealing with challenges will know that there is light at the end of the tunnel."

"But the thing is I've dealt with it for a very long time, so it's not new for us. It's just new for other people. But as far as the media, I protect my children from that. I don't keep the news on when they're around."

"I have gotten a lot of nice messages on Twitter. Very supportive people and it means a lot."

So there you have it - due out on the 27th. Some fine reading that ought to make too. You have only yourselves to blame. That is those of you who allegedly sent those nice messages on Twitter. You shouldn't have encouraged her. Now you'll just have to put up with this dose of inspiration. That is unless you've read today's Wondertrash post imn which case you'll have gotten the inspirational highlights of Denise's life of crime. Then you can save your money instead of giving it to that awful woman!

PS. Shannon Tweed walked out on Gene Simmons during an episode of Joy Behar, after calling him a pig. Now only yesterday it was pointed out right here on Wondertrash that they were a little to comfortable doing interviews together for a couple on the verge of a blowout. Their was more tension between James Garner and Mariette Hartley back in those old Polaroid One Step commercials from many years ago. Anyway Shannon has taken her bid for credibility to the next level, and just after the post too. I guess that we know of one TV Bunny who reads Wondertrash!



Now here's a little more on that whole MK Ultra Monarch Mind Control thing that has been plaguing Hollywood! This time it has to do with Harry Potter selling sex, which was supposed to be Twilight's job according to Emma Hermione Watson. No wonder the kids at Brown gave her such a hard time - insufferable little twat, allegedly!

Shannon "Tweed off" with Gene Simmons

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Jon & Kate didn't make it. Neither did Hulk Hogan & whatshername - you know, that greedy old bitch who looks like Dog Duayne Chapman's wife and screwed a 23 year old pool boy - She Hulk. So has reality TV claimed another marriage? Looks like that Family Jewels couple Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed might be hitting a rough patch. Or at least that's what they're saying publicly. With their son and daughter pretty much grown and out of the house Shannon has pretty much had enough of Gene's constant fucking around philandering ways. Though she knew he was a rock star with a 12 inch tongue when she didn't marry him, she claims that she's your average wide eyed, naive, ex Playboy bunny, and thought that some how marrying a satanic rock star would be a fairy tale come true. In what Monarch mind controlled brain washed delusion baby?

TV Bunny gets hopping mad on camera

Apparently it was some pictures of Gene out with younger prettier bunnies that has Shannon's tweed (since she's from Newfoundland I assume that her tweed is herring bone) rubbed the wrong way. As you could see in the above clip Shannon is pretty worked up and maintained her pique for the reality TV crew that follow the couple everywhere. Shannon also managed to appear on the Kathy Lee & Hoda (Hoda sounds like one of those banned diet aids) with her despised common law significant other - partner I believe is the accepted term for some one you're doing long term but not formally committed to - to promoted their reality TV show and impending potential bust up. They traded some cute barbs too. So Shannon ain't exactly sharing a Kleenex box with Huma Abedin over their respective wayward wieners. IN fact the lady seems all business!

full disclosure or plausible deniablity?

So that has folks of the cynical variety - like Internet bloggers between UFO disclosure posts - speculating about the reality of this reality TV. Could Shannon and Gene really be on the outs after 20 odd years - and odd they must have been - of a fairly stable and highly successful partnership?? Could some pictures of Gene-O out and about with a couple of random floozies but not pictured in any incriminating positions really have gotten her goat? Maybe with the kiddies grown and flown she's ready to pull the usual maneuver of pulling the plug on a relationship that's outlived it's usefulness, then cashing in on alimony and community property as a show biz bride's retirement package! Any of these options might be plausible, if reality TV wasn't as scripted and staged as pro wrestling!

Sounds like a publicity stunt

The consensus among the skeptics is that this is just some ploy to hype up their already popular and well liked series. For one thing marital domestic fireworks might be a gimmick to get folk to keep watching. For another it take s a couple on pretty firm ground get on TV and pretend to jab at each other. If there were any real friction there then the sparring could well bleed over into unmanageable animosity. Besides, Gene is fresh of playing a concert down in Newfoundland. As stated that's Shannon's birth place, and rumors on the rock was that he did the show as a favor to the missus. So I'm calling bullshit on the dog & pony act, unlike Sarah Palin's hotly denied separation. If those two are still together now then I doubt that either is going anywhere. At least it's entertaining bullshit. With a couple as likeable as those two, viewers will probably play along with the corny play acting.

Bogus bust ups

P.S. Here's a hint about how you can tell when a bust up is bogus or for realz. When German adult film actress Xenia Seeberg -best known from Lexx and some widely view porno type flicks, separated from her husband Sven Martinek the shit came to blows. Xenia is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. So when the pair showed up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds they not only showed up separately, but Sven showed up wearing sun glasses and an eye patch! Apparently Xenia got riled a beat the snot out of the poor man while in one of her kung fu fits! Now if violence ain't for real then it certainly gets points for realism!

Dave knows a creepy thing or two

Now here's part 2 of Hollywood & MK Ultra. Betcha didn't know that the real reason Joaquin Phoenix went cuckoo was because his brain washing backfired. That's when they sent him to Dr. Dave. Letterman knows a thing or two about handling slaves, that is if the blackmailer's stories can be believed!

proceed at your own risk!

BTW this won't need pointing out to the observant among you, but in the above Gene Simmons Shannon Tweed simulated fight video, Gene is shown flashing the Illuminati hand sign at one point. Now that hand sign has been seen everywhere lately and everyone from George W to Betty White to Justin Bieber to Prince William has been seen making it. Just for your information the technical name of that particular occult gesture is the Baphomet Sign.

"Hello Princess - Brown Levi 2003 11A!"

More on the occult: a helpful hint for those of you trying to pick up a little action is that Monarch sex slaves, such as Paris Hilton, can sometimes be triggered using the code phrase "Hello Princess". This activates their Monarch Mind Control Brain Programming. Once the trigger phrase is used, princess, whomever she may be, will have the bit in her teeth and be ready to go to the races. You may then have your will of your hot to trot hottie.

in my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far - entertainment & entrapment!

However unless you know the appropriate follow up trigger phrase there can be some strange side effects; like the lady can suddenly seize up and go ridged on you. That's a precaution the slave handler programmers put into to make sure no one messes with their action. It can be damned inconvenient too if it happens at the wrong time and in the wrong place! I know a guy who says he once had a hell of a time trying to get a half naked Liv Tyler out of a phone booth, and eventually had to leave her there. He was afraid the cosplay costume she was wearing would start attracting unwanted attention! Of course that could be just shit you hear a the conspiracy conventions!