Even Benedict Cumberbatch is worried!
Kim Jung Il knows how to get attention. When Sony did some kind of "assassination by effigy" movie featuring James Franco and Seth Rogan as journalists commissioned by the CIA to kill the North Korean leader, the shit hit. Not that Kim Jung Il went Jihad or anything. He went more Ashton Kutcher PUNKed. That is he got his special band of superfriends called the Guardians of Freedom to use their cyber powers and crack SONY wide open, on an "e" basis that is.
It was awful. Embarrassing celebrity aliases like Niel Depp, and Shady McFaye , got released tot he public. We found out that Angelina Jolie is a bitch, even though she hadn't done anything particularly bitch besides insisting on her choice of director for her new Cleopatra flick - which incidentally sounds like a debacle in the making. Worse than Annie! That's a problem because some Hollywood producers - Amy Pascal & Scott Rudin, wanted the same director for their Steve Jobs pic which sounds like and even bigger waste of time and money! So we found out that hi powered execs are as crude and vulgar as we suspected - but can making a silky smooth apology when the occasion calls for it - "Sorry about the foot in my mouth but it's a twitch!". So the only one better off after this is Steven Colbert!
Everyone else is cringing in terror: action heroes, sex sirens, Bart Simpson, you name it! The whole industry is embarrassed and quite frankly one upped! SONY has pulled it's film. Sony Studio exces deny rumours that they have a new flick in the works called "Glorious Leader" and based on Kim's rise to power (Ang Lee's directing!). They swear they're really working on an adaption of the old coyote roadrunner cartoons featuring Angelina Jolie, and with possibly Liam Neeson as the coyote. Jack Nicholson was their first choice, but Jack's getttin' old. Johnny Depp was 2nd, but you know - the Tourist. Depp's never forgiven Angelina for that and is not about to work with her again.
It's not gonna be lame or anything either. They don't dress Angelina up like a cartoon character. The characters are human, cross country, out law road racers. Jolie wears a 'road runner' tattoo, and occasionally says "beep,beep". When she crosses paths with Neeson's Coyote character they engage in a sexually charged cross country race. It's like Smokey & the Bandit, but without all the homosexual subtext!
So it's good to know that Hollywood is bouncing back and getting right back down to business as usual!