backstabbing- infighting- jealousy- forgotten stars...just another week in Hollywood.

backstabbing- infighting- jealousy- forgotten stars...just another week in Hollywood!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Octomom hits a new low - with a pillow!

carnival geeking still alive in the new millennium

This is a day and age when you can get rich by being famous and you can get famous for nearly anything. You can claim your 15 minutes with stunts as far fetched as claiming you sent your son up aloft in a tin foil home made balloon launched from your back yard while the video camera was conveniently rolling. Or you could do a sex tape and follow it up with a suspicious 72 day marriage. You might even opt for something less extreme, like getting artificially inseminated with 8 embryos - if only Kim Kardashian had thought of that one! Any of these weirdo antics can make you a media sensation. Then your only problem is how to cash in on the notoriety that comes from your zany stunt.



Cashing in ain't child's play. In fact it's a lot harder than dreaming up the kooky publicity stunt. For one thing the public might catch on that their leg is being pulled. They take that badly because for one thing no one likes being made a fool of, and for another the genuine 'humane interest' factor found in bizarre stories and milked by supermarket tabloids for years gets lost. It's the same feeling as finding out all those people who were hit in the groin on America's Funnest Home Video had set t it up before hand. So when a publicity seeker's cover gets blow it can be bad news, and make fame hard to cash in on.



That's what happened to Nadya Suleman. You'll recall that she was the chick who was pregnant with 8 fetuses. She also had a passing resemblance to Angelina Jolie. So people got fascinated. That is until they found out that she'd had plastic surgery, and further more had been artificially inseminated with the embryonic 8 in a plan to make millions off of public curiosity. Jon & Kate Gosselin were making it big at the time with their small scale population explosion, so there was money to be made. However some friends of hers say that scheme went back to her high school days. So the public turned on her and the most she got for her trouble was the nick name "Octomom". That and the trouble of raising her brood of 14 - many with various health and developmental problems.

Octomom may not have had celebrity deal backed up around the block but she still had 14 mouths to feed. She seems not to have been qualified for much except plastic surgery and poorly thought out scams (so should should've been natural in the fame game!). So that has left her on the Z List of celebs. That's the anything for a buck set in other words. They're the one like Principle Belding from Saved By The Bell who now appear at parties for a fee (I heart hat you can actually hire Belding to do you party). Some others, like Screech, wind up in adult films. Many can be seen signing autographs at public appearances in malls. That's how the late Gary Coleman made his coin in his final days. Basically they're the bottom feeder celebrities who are too low even for rehab. Octomom has even found a way to bring that to a new low.



Nadya - we'll use her real name and not her celebrity slave name - has had her troubles recently. She's missed a few payments on her Orange County home. So that has driven her to weird extremes. Necessity is the mother of invention, and you know what Nads comes up with when she's desperate. In this case she's decided to become a professional pillow fighter. Radaronline is reporting that Nadya has joined a Pillow Fight Tour. Nads will get paid 1500 a match and has already booked 2 fights. The first is gonna be on Feb 16. So you still have time to catch that. It'll be something to fill the void left by the Superbowl. It's for a worthy cause. Nadya will be swinging the stuffing to raise awareness for abused women. So you know you can feel good about gawking the geeking!




Wanting to be famous is something most people can relate to, even though it's not normal. Most people fear losing their minds form time to time too. When there's a ton of money to be made then you can't blame some people - impressionable types perhaps - for trying to get in on the game for fun and profit. However here's a friendly word of Wondertrash advice - don't do anything sleazy like porno tapes or getting knocked up with multiple doses from the fertility specialist. That's just sleazy, like wearing your underwear on the outside to get attention. Try doing something genuinely interesting, like trying out for the role you always wanted to play and then documenting your heroic quest. That's what actress, singer, and self described groove goddess Tracie Dinwiddie decided to do when she decided that she wanted to be Wonder Woman!



Wonderful, Tracie - and good luck!




wondertrash

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Saturday, February 4, 2012

Scandal Saturday

livin' la vida Lohan

Lindsay Lohan was wasted at Harvey weinstein chateau marmont party and is suingNext to Catwoman with a loaded can of pepper spray, and twitchy trigger finger, and a drunken Capt. Jack Sparrow impersonator in her sights; the next best tabloid story involves Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay has had a long career of being Lindsay and the latest chapter involves another law suit. The difference between this lawsuit and the oodles of others she's been involved in is that this time Lindsay is doin the suin'! You see some stories have been circulated about her again lately, and you just never get used to that.

The source of the beef seems to be a party that Lindsay recently attended. It was at the Chateau Marmont - Lindsay home away from where ever. According to the story Lindsay's attention was attracted by a Harvey Weinstein party being held nearby. Lindz wasn't invited, and the group were roped off, so Lindz sat just outside the rope section peering over at the happy party goers. She also looked desperate and bedraggled despite wearing a wearing a plunging v-neck black dress (with no bra).

Lindz didn't spend the whole night looking forlornly over at the Weinstein group. She also sipped water. Water can catch up with you so maybe that's why she made so many trips to the washroom that evening - allegedly. Shew as accompanied by some men friends and usually emerged from the facilities red nosed - like Rudolph! An eye witness, who isn't helping the whole law suit deal, said that Lohan “was definitely on something. She was slurring her words, and needed help walking at one point in the course of the night.”

Hey any one can go a little green at the gills during a trip to the can!



You try doing Wheel of Fortune for 20 years sober!

Lindz gets a lot of shit for her alleged substance reliance. The way people carry on you'd think that she was the only celebrity who ever knocked a couple back. According to Pat Sajak only recently, he and Vanna White did the Wheel of Fortune drunk more than once. They'd used to go over to a near by restaurant on taping breaks and knock back a half dozen margaritas. Then they'd go back and finish taping. According to Pat sometimes they were so out of it that they had trouble keeping track of the alphabet. Makes you appreciate Vanna White's consummate professionalism in being able to walk and turn letters at the same time most of the time. Then again it's easy to appear on the ball when some of the contestants set the bar so low.



Harry Potter hit the witches' brew - stewed on the set

Nor were Pat and Vanna the only highly paid pros who showed up for work drunk at the switch. According to Daniel Radcliffe not everything at Hogwort's School of Sorcery for Young Gentlemen and Ladies everything that we might have thought it was. Danny Boy played Harry Potter in the film adaption of the JK Rowling novels - but I don't need to tell anyone that. It was the role of a life time that should have left him typecast for the rest f his career, as well as rich enough never to have to get out of bed again. Yet everything was not as hunky dory as you would think.

According to Radcliffe in a recent interview some where along the way he turned to drinkin'. Radcliffe says :

"I went into work still drunk. I can point to many scenes where I'm just gone. Dead behind the eyes. I have a very addictive personality. It was a problem."

Stressing that he didn't drink at work, Radcliffe adds that, "People with problems like that are very adept at hiding it. It was bad. I drank a lot and it was … nightly."

The actor has said that he no longer drinks. "You either have to change something, or give into that shame."


Hopefully the whole child star thing won't work out for him the way it has for so many like such as Ms. Lohan. Then we might have to feel fleeting guilty before we upbraid him for messing up. Besides I think that the real problem was Emma Watson. She's was a bad influence and is probably the one responsible for messing him up!


trouble for Taran

Finally that brings us to Taran Noah Smith. He was one of those Home Improvement kids. These days he's branched out into other things, like DUI. Smith, who played youngest Taylor son Mark for 8 years on the sitcom, was out and about in Los Angeles County during the wee hours of the morning about a week back when he got into some trouble. Seems Smith was driving under the influence of of marijuana. He also had some hash along for the ride. So that got him his DUI plus a drug possession charge.

It hasn't only been Home Improvement and arrests though. He's had some other irons in the fire. He recently appeared in Home Improvement reunion photo shoot, and most notably sued his parents for squandering his trust fund. Apart from that he's done a fairly good job of keeping to himself, which is no mean feat given his life experience as a child actor. One day when we become a just society we're gonna get around to outlawing that, the way we outlawed other less inhumane forms of child labor.


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Friday, February 3, 2012

Coming Soon from the National Enquirer


Has Angelina Jolie finally gone too far?

Next week's National Enquirer promises to be a wild ride if the promo is any indication. For one thing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of divorce again. It seems like they've been on the verge of marriage and divorce for years now - basically ever since Angie ripped poor Jennifer Aniston's heart out and ruined her life. That left Poor Jen with nothing but her A List movie career to fall back on. However this time NE up's the ante by claiming that Angie has confessed to cheating, and to hotel room hook ups. Thgis lead to a marriage counseling break down. Oh yeah and Angie also supposedly physically threatened Jen according to the cover.

Kardashians continue to make marriage a reality TV tabloid travesty?

Now it that wasn't enough to whet your appetite there's more trouble for the Kardashians. Apparently Mother Kris Kardashian Jenner's marriage is destroyed by some kind of cheating scandal. Apparently some kind of afffair has been exposed! Those Kardashian women are either gonna have to stay out of divorce court or stop getting married of they want to stop provoking the public, 'cause their sleazy shenanigans are just getting obnoxious!

Is Gayle King an extraterrestrial transsexual? If she were do you think she'd admit it?

In other news the real Gayle King is exposed. Now for those hoping it might be as a terrorist, transsexual, or an extra terrestrial I've got bad news. The tabs are creeping towards the very out fringes of credibility, so the days of Elvis taking UFO rides and inseminating Hilary Clinton via ray beam are lamentably long gone (except in the WeeklyWorldNews which still exists online, and where Elvis and Hilary's love trysts with Bigfoot continue!). Apparently Gayle has used Oprah Winfrey to make millions! Now there's now word on whether this was in some legitimate way, they way ma people given their start by Oprah have made millions - like such as Dr. Phil McGraw, or whether they're leaving something else to be inferred. The phrase "used" is kind of loaded.

Then there's the Newt Gingrich's wife lesbian shocker. There's an election coming up and since the Enquirer did so well with John Edwards - much better than John Edwards did with the Enquirer - they have to keep up the cred with some semi legit news related articles. They don't give Pulitzer Prize nominations for horoscopes and sudokus! Now there are no clues in the cover about how they get shocked by lesbians. Perhaps were chased by those pink pistol gangs that Bill O Reilly on FOX was so concerned about several years back. BOR was afraid that the gays = perhaps finally having had enough - had taken up arms. If these same pink pistol lesbians have chased down the Gingrich's - perhaps in outrage over some extreme right wing views, and then tasered them in to literal electric shock, then O Reilly is gonna need a pace maker! Either way the corner photo shows both Gingrichs looking shocked, or at least perturbed.

With FOX as the voice of the right, why did America turn Democrat?



That rampaging lesbian story is just the kind of stuff that needs more coverage in the media. Might have something to do with the bisphenol A laden water those metrosexuals are always drinkin'!



As for what's behind that titillating cover, there's a couple of doozies in the works:

Whitney Houston, desperate and broke, collapsed in a shocking public breakdown and The ENQUIRER has chilling photos that show how her last-ditch bid to stay sober is falling apart. Friends fear the long-troubled songbird is back on drugs and has hit rock bottom after losing her $100 million fortune.


and:

The lives of Demi Moore's daughters have been ripped apart by her drug and booze hell. Busted for underage drinking last year, Tallulah, 18, is currently in therapy and telling pals that Demi's out-of-control behavior has turned her life into "a nightmare." Meanwhile, Rumer, 23, who has been most supportive of Demi, is now worried that she, too, is being dragged down by her mother. Scout, 20, who's away at college, fears that her sisters are in danger, say sources. In a revealing ENQUIRER report, insiders reveal how the girls' dad, Bruce Willis is battling to keep the family from falling apart.


People have been very concerned about Demi Moore and her family lately. Especially since Demi and the girls seem like basically nice, likeable people with some celebrity sized problems. With Demi in rehab, Tallulah in therapy, Rumer in the tabs, that leaves Scout as the level headed one! At the rate their going they're headed straight for reality TV. So you tell me if the NE isn't worth it's $5? If they can add a fab summer diet and blue dot winning lotto numbers then they can count on my business at the checkout!



By the way - Wondertrash isn't up for any Pulitzer prizes so any kind of trash is up for posting! So here's the Wondertrash version of Lotto Numbers That Can Help You Lose Weight! It's called How To Get Laid In 5 Easy Steps!



Now I can't guarantee that any of that advice will get you laid, but if it helps you win the lottery then let me know!


wondertrash
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"Catwoman, an alien and a pirate"

What would Wondertrash be without a daily dose of celebrity superhero madness? Fortunately or not today is not the day when you have to answer that question, cause there's superhero madness on tap! It seems that very recently - a that means last night - there was an incident outside the Hollywood Kodak theater that had everything going for it except possibly a sequel. The incident involved celebrity lookalikes, and even a costumed crusader!

It seems that on the night in question a group of street performers were out and doing there thing - which involved dressing up like the famous and iconic. There was an Ozzy Osbourne impersonator, and Jack Sparrow wannabe, and even a Catwoman. Somewhere along the line things took a weird turn. According to reports some drinking started and that's when Catwoman's claws came out.

Catwoman got riled up and pepper sprayed Capt Jack, along with Ozzy, and another performer dressed as an alien. Then - true to her criminal nature - the felonious feline of comic book infamy fled the scene. While police were busy trying to find everyone involved - and since no arrests have yet been made we can assume that they're searching with out the aid of Batman - NBC4 cracked the case by getting an exclusive interview with Catwoman. Catwoman explained that she let her fellow performers have it cause they'd been drinking all day and were getting obnoxious. Erotica Villainess's story was confirmed by a Willy Wonka impersonator.

Now here's some footage of the weirdness!




Anne Hathaway is skin tight tonight!

Speaking of Catwoman here's Anne Hathaway debuting her new skin tight cat suit! BTW she hasn't pepper sprayed anyone that we know of - but she did give a Dark Knight stunt man a black eye in a fight scene. Then she gave him a silver commemorative pen.




















While Dreamboat Annie is a knockout she seems more of a Hawkgirl than a Catwoman.




Down around the Kodak Theater celebrity impersonator street performers must've been getting passe. However if they keep up with the reality TV antics they just might boost their business - assuming that their business is attracting attention from passing gawkers! If they keep it up they might even be on the fast track to super hero rehab! As for you non professionals out there - remember that it doesn't pay to mess with a chick in a cat suit (unless she's that poor pathetic Erin Esurance who's more or less out of work now and may even be resorting to porno!) - not even at Comic-con!



Celebrity Astrology - if you have a birthday this month then you have at least one thing in common with Sarah Palin and Paris Hilton (and I can't wait for their eventual and inevitable reality TV show together, just as soon as they can decide which one is gonna run as VP candidate and which will take the lead)! Just don't overdo the Aquarius connection cause one thing in common with those two might be more than enough!


PS. As mentioned former cartoon vixen Erin Esurance is in a sorry state. Once upon a time she was the hottest thing in online car insurance. There were even talks of spy girl spin offs. That was a while back. Since then she's been sidelined and out of work. The long dry spell may be starting to get to the once indefatigable super heroine too, as her latest tweets sound kinda desperate, with mentions of insanity creeping in.



That rumored part time security guard gig really seems to have broken her spirit! Stay strong Erin!




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Monday, January 30, 2012

Elisabetta Canalis & Steve-O Dating?

George Clooney ex shameful out of control down ward spiral continues!



Can it be true that Elisabetta Canalis is dating that Jackass guy? If the name Elisabetta Canalis sounds vaguely familiar it's because she previously dated Gorgeous George Clooney. Then she got caught up in a drugs and prostitution scandal in which George Clooney almost had to testify - there were some hi profile types in on that. So Lizzie had to go.

She went to Dancing With the Stars. Now she's moved on! Of course this may not really be trading up. No shame Lizzie, cause Georgie's a notoriously hard man to pin down. better women than you have tried and failed - I'm talking cocktail waitresses and Vegas showgirls!



another mag's Angie is a one man Armie

In other news Angie Harmon is covering Vogue - no wait it's Armie Hammer; not that those two are easily mistaken for one another. It's just that there are so many celebrities today that they start to bleed together.


Aguilera is juicy - & messed up worse than a shit house rat

So it might be a rough day for Angie and Lizzie but there are those worse off, like Christina Aguilera. She's still over weight, and in the following pic something seems to be trickling down her right leg - at least according to Tyler Durden. Whatever the mystery fluid is it's the wrong colour for urine.


Some people think that fame if glamorous - but it's not all rehab and eating disorders. Basically it's like wearing your underwear on the outside. Wearing your underwear on the outside is a stunt best left to professionals and superheroes! That might be okay on any other day, but on the wrong day it's bad news!



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