backstabbing- infighting- jealousy- forgotten stars...just another week in Hollywood.

backstabbing- infighting- jealousy- forgotten stars...just another week in Hollywood!

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Avril Lavigne is Spreading Earwoms With Hello Kitty

Ka ka ka kawaii!


 Avril Lavigne has a new video out and as you may have heard it's Hello Kitty themed. It's a bright colourful video full of Hello Kitty imagery with light pinks & blues. The only question is whether the tune is catchy enough. Now be warned - it's highly contagious. Some paranoids types are even spreading rumours that the song was written by MK Ultra agents for the Rand corp, & is intended to be used soon in interrogation, to break down unusually resistant subjects. You know, the way Homeland Security plays Metallica to terror suspects in order to break their will. That is unless they use Red Hot Chili Peppers to annoy suspects into submission. Anyway let's have a look 'n' listen to Avril in her new video posted blow.







3 1/2 minutes with Avril Lavigne and you'll never be the same again!



 It's so catchy it's practically contagious! In fact you could be digging the earworms out of your head for days after listening to it just once! In fact it can even cause some side effects. Now nothing like the time some woman started having seizures while listening to Mary Hart's voice on Entertainment Tonight. That was a tragic cause. Once word got out, rowdy neighborhood teenagers began driving back in forth inf front of her house with Mary Hart's voice on a boom box. trying to trigger an epileptic fit on the poor woman. People really can be that bad. This is much milder, but it's an effect that can be very annoying in it's own right! Just let the following tumblr meme illustrate!



Avril Lavigne is spreading earworms faster than you can say ka ka ka kawaii with her catchy new Hello Kitty video
Avril Lavigne is spreading earworms faster than you can say ka ka ka kawaii with her catchy new Hello Kitty video
Avril Lavigne is spreading earworms faster than you can say ka ka ka kawaii with her catchy new Hello Kitty video
Avril Lavigne is spreading earworms faster than you can say ka ka ka kawaii with her catchy new Hello Kitty video
Avril Lavigne is spreading earworms faster than you can say ka ka ka kawaii with her catchy new Hello Kitty video
Don't let this happen to you! Of course with a VCR, 80's touch tone phone, and other primitive 20th century tech, the poor woman was prob beyond help anyway! Perhaps she recently awoke from a coma, and it was only a matter of time until some kind of culture shock got to her.

I just heard this, & it sounds crazy... Ka ka ka kawaii!

 Ka ka ka-kawaii! You can say that again! In fact you might not have any choice, but wind up blurting it out unintentionally over the next few days. Just like the poor woman in the video. She's turns on her TV, all unawares - which is the usual way TV gets turned on. Suddenly there's Avril Lavigne singing her uber catchy new tune. The woman stares blankly at the TV screen, as though subjected to some Clockwork Orange style MK Ultra mental reprogramming. Then n the phone rings. The woman picks up the phone and unsuspectingly starts spouting gibberish. 
 Actually it's not gibberish. Kawaii is Japanese for "cute". Cute it is too. However it might not seem so cute when you unintentional blurt to some casual acquaintance "Hello Kitty, you're so silly", and then they look at you like you're having a stroke! You'll blush and try to explain yourself. Of course that never works, not even in the movies. Desperate awkward explanations only make a person seem even more at fault! People will go around behind your back and accuse you of being into Hello Kitty. If you're a 30 year old office worker, or even in hi school, this could create serious blow back. People will greet you in the morning with "Hello Kitty". They'll ask if you're into pokemon or digimon, and ask what life's like in your mom's basement. 
 In other words your friends and co workers will take the opportunity to humiliate the shit out of you! Your only chance at redemption will come when they start spouting Hello Kitty type phrases too! That they almost certainly will do, since once you go through your painful explanation of why you're babbling about Hello Kitty and greeting people with Ka ka ka kawaii - "oh it's that damned Avril Lavigne and her new video! I only watched it once and now I'm infected! Like a Resident Evil zombie full of T cells.  If you see Milla Jovovich in a catsuit lurking near by then she's stalking me!" - they're bound to pay more attention when they see the video for themselves. Then they'll start spouting gibberish, and you can say "I told you so!"

 So if you're gonna watch this video or listen to this song more than once go ahead, but be warned. Also take some precautions. Fill your head with other catch phrases to water down the effect. Try singing "I'm like a bird..." at random, or tell folks "Hasta La Vista, baby" when saying goodbye. Enlist the help of a friend. Your can back & forth in catch phrase to each other, like "Where's the beef?", "I dunno, but don't have a cow, man!" This way you'll reinforce the effect of competing catch phrase, and so lessen the Lavigne effect! In an extreme emergency you can start singing Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe. Only do that as a last resort! Call Me Maybe will blast anything out, but will it's self get stuck up there for awhile, until some annoying commercial jingle nudges it loose!

 By pitting competing earworms against each other you'll gain some time. Then and eventually everyone will start spouting Hello Kitty phrases. They'll have no choice but to "own it". That's the point where office sales execs great each other at the elevator with Hi 5's and boisterous shouts of "Ka ka ka kawaii!". "Hello Kitty you're so silly" will wind up on T Shirts. These phrase may even become popular phrase, like "Smell ya later", which has yet to replace good bye. Then your disgrace is hid by being blended in with the crowd. Eventually the whole horrible thing will burn it's self o0ut - as everything catchy eventually does. Then we only have to worry about the next unbearably cute catchy song or phrase to come along.

 Speaking of annoying catchy fads here are a list of some, and put to music.  Whether the song is as catchy as Avril or Carly Rae is for you to decide, but it is sung by our old friends Homer & Marge Simpson!


video

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Selena Gomez Ends Her Friendship With Taylor Swift Permanently

Pipe Dreams 


It's been tough to keep up with celebrity gossip posting lately. Especially with a Hollywood Super Hero script in development! I call it Mammoth Man! A nervous genetic researcher is experimenting in the lab with extinct lines of DNA when he accidentally injects himself with some mammoth mutagen! He swells up to over 8 feet tall and 450 pounds! He basically turns into a sasquatch.

A big hairy freak who's a little super & more than adequate




He also has the strength of a large woolly mammoth! He's not Superman strong, but he's super strong. He could pick up a car & toss it around, and maybe lift a house off of it's foundation. That's more than adequate for the average fight against crime!


Enter the heavy



The problems develop when a rival geneticist gets injected with Tyrannosaurus Rex DNA mutagen! This guy blows up to 25 feet tall, grows armor plated skin, has the strength of a TRex, and is completely insane evil. No one knows whether it was something inherent in the TRex DNA that drove him mad, or whether it was the physical and neurological shock of growing 25 feet over nite; but the dude is bad news! Naturally his super villain name is T Rex! Did I mention these guys were enemies in college?


punch your way out of this

So TRex is a major problem for Mammoth Man. TRex is too strong. He could toss a semi truck rig around like Styrofoam. You can't shoot him be cause his scaly dinosaur skin is impervious. An exploding shell wouldn't put a dent in him. He's armor plated! So you couldn't really put him in line with a few punches. 

tricked again in the usual way


He's far stronger than Mammoth Man, so MM has to defeat his rival/enemy with his wits as well as his brawn. He usually does this by trickery, which might involve luring TRex into some trap, and then with the help of his side kicks subduing the big beast until it's time to bring him back for another adventure. "Get ready, when he follows me into the cage quickly lock the door, after giving me time to slip out. Then we hit him with 10 000 volts of electricity!" TRex will have some patented bad guy come back like "You'll pay for this next time Mammoth Man!"



Like a lizard cheerleader in the fight against evil!



Super Hero features are pretty big right now. With the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles getting released I only hope the time is right for me to float this idea, & maybe make a big payday. It has all the popular ingredients of super hero films, and is up to date. It's got a great Fantastic Four meets Heavy Metal angle to it. It's got super strong good guys and even stronger meaner bad guys. The only question is "is it formulaic enough?" I could probably add some hot chick as a side kick if necessary. Dina Repta, The Lizard Chick! She could be covered in blue green shiny scales, is wildly attractive in spite of her strange appearance, so she is basically decorative, and harmless because she only has 'girl powers' like ESP or empathy with which to participate in the action ("I feel his pain. It's coming from over here. Let's get him!"). So that can bring in the magic angle.


& then the dog ate it

Who are we kidding? There is no script. I've just been smoking a lot of drugs lately! As a result I haven't been keeping up on my celebrity homework! But my assignment is ready today, and hastily slapped together with some fabricated lead in filler material, which you have just endured! Thank you for you kind patience! Now on with the real celebrity gossip. Today we ask what's come between Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Hopefully the girls haven't been experimenting with extinct lines of DNA. That can be a gate way to strong and more extreme experiences!


Another relationship has busted up on Taylor Swift. This time it's not with some guy that she's been briefly dating, and who's gonna wind up the subject of a song. This time it's with her erstwhile BFF Selena Gomez. Swift and Selena hand been hanging around together, and even following each other on Instagram. Then, and about the same time that Gomez was rumoured to be back with Justin Bieber, things went sour with Swift. I'm not sure how Swift feels about Bieber, except that she was photographed making some face as she walked past him, backstage at some videos ward event a few years back. That was back before he and Selena split for the first time,w hen things were just starting to get shitty for him, and before he graduated to impaired driving, sizzurp, and deportation petitions (which the White House has officially commented on. They had to release an official statement since the petition went over 100 000 signatures!). It's been a crazy year for Justin Bieber.




Anyway apparently he and Selena are back together, and Selena and Taylor are seeing other people. It's a shame. Taylor and Selena made such a good looking couple. Then again men will put a strain on girls' friendships. Not that that's what happened in this case, because we don't really know what happened. There is some irrelevant detail floating around. Let's have a gander at some of it and see what we can make of it!






Coming soon: My idea for a sitcom about a part time robot! He used top be a full time robot but there were cut backs. This idea is still in it's very preliminary stages, but here's a clue - our human ways seem strange to him. Think of it as a 'reverse automation' theme. If necessary the situation can heat up when he starts seeing a sexy hologram!




So remember to keep checking the Trash - the big hairy freak of a blog that's more than adequate and occasionally a little super!


wondertrash

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Lindsay Lohan Disses Jennifer Lawrence

courtesy of  ENTV

Lindsay Lohan disses Jennifer Lawrence with some ugly accusations and reveals some of her more interesting personal facts, like dating Jared Leto.



Now this isn't a new thing because Lindsay & Jennifer have had their celebrity run ins before, like in the following video posted by RumorFix on youtube over 1 year ago (Published on 16 Jan 2013)!



Jennifer Lawrence is becoming a popular target. The aforementioned Jared Leto, with whom Lohan was connected somehow, also has an opinion on JL, brought to you courtesy of Just Do It on youtube.




Nor is Lawerence herself a stranger to dishin' out the dis. In Lawerence's case she picked some one who seemed safe enough to take a swipe at, and that's because she's an even more popular target - namely Miley Cyrus!



So celebrities are no strangers to dealing the dirty dish! Slagging the trash talk is one of the things that keep the public interested, until the celebrity feuds become annoying. Then everyone wants to get involved! In Lawerence's case she's drawn some acerbic criticism from Joan Rivers. Joan things Lawrence is "arrogant". Ticking people off is something Rivers is a n expert at, so I'df be inclined to take her opinion on this seriously. She knows where of she speaks!



So there you have it backstabbing, infighting, &jealousy , and just as advertised in our header! Just another reason why you have to keep checking the Trash. Plus you can dish Wondertrash as much as you like. No one gets into celebrity blogging for respect!

wondertrash

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Kate Upton Shits on Cameron Diaz's Boobs

Peeking through the boob window - Have they started calling Kate Upton "Powergirl" yet?


Kate Upton as Power Girl from DC Comics
Now not shit literally, & maybe not even intentionally. A little back ground on this big boob blow up. Kate Upton is a bikini swim wear model who gained fame through the Sport's Illustrated swimsuit edition. She was rookie of the year back in 2011, and had the covers in 2012 and 2013. Her claim to fame is that she's blond and good looking, in that Baywatch sort of way, and she also sports a great big pair of boobs - also in a Baywatch sort of way. That can get a girl a lot of attention. It's even gotten her a part in The Other Woman with Cameron Diaz! This is where the tit shittin' comes in!

let the tit shittin' begin!


Kate was giving some interview or something where she was obliged to talk about the other woman, Cameron Diaz, and her two costars dangling from her chest. Kate said that having fabulous bosoms might be every other woman's dream, but quite frankly it's a nuisance for her. It makes it impossible for her to wear certain kinds of clothes (just ask Powergirl!) like spaghetti tops (who's picturing Upton covered in spaghetti right now?). Plus people keep 'bringing them up". I'm not sure what she means since they look pretty well 'brought up'. I guess she means they make tongues wag.

bothersome bosoms 


more Kate Upton as Powergirl
The upshot is that Kate finds big boobage a mixed blessing.  Or possibly just excess baggage. She could have the best of both worlds - she says in interview - if the gal's were 'clip ons'. That way, and like fashionable accessories, she could strap on the big guns for special occasions - like a SI cover. Then when she wanted to blend in  with the crowd, she could snap those big ole suckers off, stow them some where out of the way, perhaps stuffed roughly into a car glove compartment, or discreetly crammed into a gala party swag bag for later use.

rent a boob and Wonder Woman's crash bags!


It's a good idea that Kate had since detachable boobs might even be a potential money maker. Kate could rent them out to other actresses when she herself is not using them. She might pass 'em on to Gal Gadot for her Wonder Woman work for instance! The studio could pick up Upton's tab, and Gadot could add a tip for the tits! Then Gadot could go out and fight crime with authority! Once her work is done she could then return them back to Upton, & probably worse for wear with a few bullet holes covered up with duct tape. Wonder Woman plays rough you know!

Kate tries getting something off of her chest


Does Kate Upton need a Powergirl boob window?
So it was a sweet little interview where Kate comes off as an engaging and likable bimbo, until... she brings her Other Woman co star Cameron Diaz into it! Now no one will ever know whether what Kate said next was the result of a streak of cattiness, or whether she meant well and was having a blonde moment. After talking about the tremendous responsibility of carting her two whopping eye magnets around where ever she goes, whether she wants them along or not, she then goes on to wish for a better bod. She claimed that she would like something less unwieldy, more sleek and sporty. Most of all she'd like a nice pair of modest boobs - & something inconspicuous - like Cameron Diaz has! She put it nicely, saying that Diaz has a perfect body. However it comes off like "My magnificent big boobs are getting on my nerves, and if I were Cameron I wouldn't have that problem."

Battling boobs


Now if you know anything about chicks then you know that you don't go ragging on another woman's boobs. Especially if your's are bigger! It just triggers all those latent female rivalry issues. Even if you're Wonder Woman you don't wanna hear Powergirl going on and on about how she needs Super Strength to lug her magnificent mammaries around, and how Diana is so lucky that she can use all her strength in the fight against evil! They might be on the same team, but when super heroines start trash talking each other's tits like that then there's gonna be blood on the floor of the Hall of Justice!

more ridiculous breast jokes


As for Diaz, she seems to have taken the dissing like a sport. Cameron officially responded that Upton is "more than a pair of boobs"! I'd have told Upton to count her blessings. For instance she never ever needs to worry about whether the auto air bags will deploy in case of a crash. That's because she comes already fully equipped with her own! If she happens to trip up and fall forward, perhaps on some important occasion, then she'll avoid an embarrassing slip by bouncing right back onto her feet! People will do a 'double take' at that! The best part is that should Kate ever get in over her head, then she has her own personal flotation devices! Just like the old Mae West life jackets! As for floating her way out of this, she'll prob do just find, with a little help from her two close friends & bosom buddies!





wondertrash

Friday, April 18, 2014

KListed

FYK - For Your Kimformation


DListed doesn't like Kim Kardashian, & blabbed about Beyonce's cosmetic procedures!
DListed doesn't like Kim Kardashian
Entertainment journalism is taking information and turning it into meaningful gossip. Celebrity blogging likes to keep the gossip as meaningless as possible. The information, though juicy, might be irrelevant. Like in the piece the good people at DListed recently did about the alleged tension between Beyonce and Kim Kardashian!

Join the Kimmunity!


Kim and Beyonce run in the same circles since Beyonce, JayZ, & Kanye West - Kim's significant other, all run in the same circles, with occasional appearance by Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin. Not so much Chris these days. He's still in the picture. It's just that his role is undefined now. Gwyneth might still be around. She's needs her friends support right now. Though it should be said that Pepper Potts is quite the formidable lady. She made Vanity Fair pull in their horns and back up. The point is that paths cross, people run into each other, and when there are underlying tensions in the relationship then they can surface during unexpected chance meetings. Like recently between Beyonce and Kim Possible, as covered on DListed!

Kimsanity


Now this is where the art of celebrity Internet blogging & meaningless gossip combo'd with irrelevant information comes in! DListed does a very lively and saucy piece. Their writing has some real bite to it. That's prob why it's the blog now, along with TMZ; & after Perez Hilton got into the music biz and went soft! Not that Perez went soft. It's just that he's kinder & gentler, and a celebrity friendly Perez Hilton. It's like a Batman scenario where the Joker gets hit with Good Guy Gas and is still just as crazy, but not as lively and entertaining as back in the days when he was trying to blow up Hollywood Gotham with only an Internet connection! Don't get me wrong - PH just found creative things that he'd rather be doing. That's good on him! It's just that some of us lowly bloggers miss the days when he almost single handedly gave us a kind of main stream credibility we never had before, or since! It's like the pain of having a really good conspiracy theory conclusively debunked. You've lost a weird guilty pleasure!

Kimpressive!

As for DListed, they spend much of the column referring to Kim as an "action figure" - fully articulated and with a variety of poses! Not really an action figure, but they refer to her as a life sized "Kim doll" numerous times. By numerous times I mean the 1st 2 paragraphs. You can only wonder what kind of action accessories Kim Possible comes with, like go go boots, and a utility belt that's wrapped around a slinky catsuit.

Kimtense


Now to violently pull you away from those Diana Rigg Emma Peel Avengers fantasies, & back to gossip! According to DListed Kim & Beyonce turned up at the dermatologist's office at the same time. Kim was very friendly with Beyonce, but Beyonce seemed a little busy and distracted. DListed extrapolates from this that Beyonce hates Kardashian's guts and tries to avoid her whenever possibly. Whenever it's not possible then she begrudges Kardashian what ever attention that she's obliged to give her. "You again? Ugh! Haven't we already spoken once or something? So what do you want now?"

Kimpatient


I'm not sure what basis there is for this, since Beyonce is a pretty busy woman, so unless you're Michelle Obama, or an ardent fan, she's probably gonna come off busy and distracted. Time is money and her schedule must be booked tight. Just imagine what 5 mins of Beyonce's time is worth! So if she comes off as "oh that's nice dear...", while edging towards the door, it's understandable. You don't need to read too much into that. It doesn't necessarily mean that Beyonce would spit on Kardashian if she could get away with it, or anything (though what might go on between consenting adults in the enchanted land of Hollywood is not for us to judge, only to fantasize about. It's a freaky place!).

coKimcidence


Oh yeah and they (DListed) call Kim a 'creepy stalker'. I think they're trying to infer that Kardashian is stalking Beyonce or something, or perhaps is some how fixated on her as a powerful alpha female- even though only this one instance of them crossing paths is mentioned. Now if there were repeated instances, that were too much for random coincidence, or if Kim had been spotted outside Beyonce's residence, laying in wait with a net and hand cuffs, then I'd say that they were on to something. She might have to channel her inner superheroine Sasha Fierce to sort things out. One chance meeting at the dermatologist isn't a case of girl on girl fixation or anything, and probably no reason for Beyonce to start changing clothes in phone booth. Of course if she really wants to then she can go ahead!

Kimvincable


The thing is that Kim's an easy target. She had that reality TV show. A sex tape is forgivable. It's even laudable these days. No one likes reality. It's just something that everyone watches. So people dislike Kim Kardashian & co. It's as though America had decided the Kardashians were some creepy calculating reality TV version of the 1950's Gabor Sisters! So Kim gets her share of shade thrown on her. America just isn't completely comfortable with a smart businesswoman, unless he makes it naked in Playboy!

A Miss Kimmunication?


It's not easy being a tough smart cookie, but Kim finds a way!
Anyway DListed tries to paint out this whole big tense feud between Beyonce and Kim K. That may be true. However DListed hasn't exactly given us overwhelming evidence of that. It's titillating, but meaningless gossip. They do give us some unrelated information though. They went on to say that Kim asked for the same dermatological procedures as Beyonce, as though she has to copy Beyonce in everything now. They then went on to say that the procedure was botox and fillers - which Dlisted points out, was prob what Kardashian was gonna get anyway. So who knows how Beyonce will take that? If you're Beyonce then you might not want the world knowing that you get your million dollar face fixed regularly. Also, and though Kim's an attractive gal, you might not want people thinking that you need the same work as she does. You're Beyonce and in a league by yourself! Maybe Beyonce will hold it against DListed, instead of Kim?

wondertrash

Thursday, April 17, 2014

4/17/14 - Taylor Swift leaving her apartment in NYC

 out around in front with Taylor Swift


Many people are familiar with Taylor Swift. They've seen her on TV at numerous award shows, or being interviewed on a variety of entertainment news shows where she might talk about her relationships or her hit singles. So she's usually dressed up, made up, and very well presented.  Just as we're accustomed to see her.

So what does Taylor look like when she's off duty? Say when she's casually sashaying out around in front of her swanking NYC digs? Well and as usual she's dressed up, made up, and very well presented - but in a less Hollywood red carpet awards gala glam and more Hollywood everyday wear glam slightly businesslike kind of way. In this case it's a snazzy black jacket, and black mini, and some sleek black stockings!  Just have a look at these recent pix of Swifty

4/17/14 - Taylor Swift leaving her apartment in NYC.

Is Transcendental Meditation making a come back, or is it just catching on again?  Jennifer Aniston recently attributed TM as the secret to her youthful looks. Ellen DeGeneres has claimed that twice daily TM practice helps her remain calm and centered. Oprah Winfrey treated her entire staff to TM classes after checking out the TM center in Fairfield, Iowa. Clint Eastwood has practiced it for years. Then there are the TM comedians, from Russell Brand (his ex Katy Perry is also a practitioner), and including the aforementioned Ellen, to the late great Andy Kauffman. Jerry Seinfeld and Howard Stern are also TM practitioners and discuss Howard's TM experiences in this episode of Comedians Getting Coffee in Cars! That's Jerry's new foray in to drive through comedy.



wondertrash

Catherine Zeta-Jones Debuts New Bangs, Tom Cruise seeing "Donna" from That 70's Show

Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta Jones are still technically separated but they're getting out and about together. Like at a recent red carpet outing. It gave Catherine Zeta a chance to show off her new hairstyle.



courtesy of  WochitEntertainment



Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas wowed on the red carpet last
night, posing together and smiling for photographers, despite separating
just eight short months ago. The gorgeous actress wore a striking black
ensemble with a plunging neckline paired with an embellished clutch and
dazzling drop earrings and she showcaed hot new hairstyle. The brunette
beauty debuted fresh new bangs that framed her face and drew attention
to her sparkling eyes effortlessly.




There's also some Tom Cruise in the news. Tom is dating Topher Grace's old girlfirend from That 70's Show, Laura Prepon! No word on whether Tom was a fan of her former sit com, but sources say he wanted to meet her after watching her on Orange is the New Black.


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