Big Time Weird

Celebrity Götterdämmerung: Twilight of the little glitter gods

hate literature, links, soft porn, and other filth!

2010 continued the redefinition of celebrity. Once stars were regarded as gods walking amongst us. The Internet seems to have helped blow their covers. As more and more info got out, people began to discover what their favourite stars were really like. That made image management impossible. People knew that Tom Cruise was into Scientology, and that he had some strange relationships with the women in his life; they also learned that Mel Gibson was an anti Semite with some odd relationships of his own. The result was that the heroes became zeroes and and celebrity was redefined interns of buffoonery. Fame became a circus and the celebrities were the clowns.

Biggest Little Moments of 2010

Some embraced that role. Paris Hilton certainly made it as a celebrity 2.0. With her tongue in her cheek it was obvious that she never intended anyone to take her seriously. Sarah Palin wasn't interested in being taken seriously either. She seemed content if people bought her books, watched her series, voted for her daughter on Dancing With The Stars, and possibly keep her in mind as a future presidential candidate. So she was free to play the clown all the way to the bank. If her New York Times best seller record is any indication she might not need to be taken too seriously to get in. Politics isn't immune to celebrity 2.0.

If Sarah Palin didn't prove that single handedly then one of the big scandals of days past surely did. It involved a slick little operator who was a pretty good lawyer. He was also an attractive a personable fellow with bog time aspirations! The man was John Edwards. Though he looked full of promise - he was to deliver more than anyone bargained for.

John Boy loses innocence, runs for President

John Boy Edwards ran for the Democratic Party's presidential nom against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. So he was a long shot from the word go. With his good looks and charm he wasn't much of a long shot and some folk really thought that the little prick had a chance. Plus he had his wife Elizabeth Edwards to back him to the hilt. That ran into a snag when Elizabeth developed terminal cancer. While pundits speculated whether or not Edwards might drop out of the race to share Elizabeth's last days with her, John Boy announced that he was still in it to win it. Winning the presidency was important to Elizabeth, Edwards informed the public, so he was gonna follow through "win one for the Gipper" style. He left the American Public to infer that not voting him in would destroy a dying woman's last wish.

The man who would be king and his palace balls worker

Sure enough more started emerging about John Boy. Like he had a flaky mistress called Rielle Hunter. Hunter looked like a younger version of Camilla Parker Bowles, and was a failed actress turned yoga instructor! When she met John Boy she determined to win him over with flattery and by playing to his ambition. She told him that he had a hot aura in person that didn't show up on TV. She added that since she worked in the media she could help him with that. That night was the first time they made love. Only goes to show that she had his number! Some people are just standing around waiting to be lead astray.

Schiavo scenarios

As time went on Rielle groomed John Boy to be president by giving him astrological and spiritual guidance, as she positioned herself to be another Nancy Reagan. They also made love in Elizabeth's bed, talked shamelessly about how great it would be once she kicked off - so they could finally live it the way it was supposed to be, and conceived a love child. If John Boy wasn't as bad as those mother's who kill their own children so that they can go out and party (Susan Smith & Casey Anthony) then it was only because he was a low key psychopath. In spirit he was just as eager for his wife to die, but just wouldn't get around to pulling the trigger. Still I wouldn't trust him in a Terri Schiavo 'do not resuscitate' scenario!

"I'd like to take responsibility for my mistakes because that's what people do when there's no other way to get off the hook."

Well once his phony little cover got blow so did his presidential aspirations. He's so radioactive right now that he wouldn't make it on reality TV! Some others profited from his mistakes though. Like the National Enquirer. Making up for dropping the ball on the Tiger Woods' story (they knew years ago but instead of publishing it bargained to get Tiger on the cover of an associated mag) they broke the Edwards' Affair with a vengeance. They got a Pulitzer Prize nomination for that too. Now in fairness it should be said that they nominated themselves, but he committee did accept the nomination. So it's official (as official as Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, anyway.).

shitty politti

Some one else made out like a bandit too. That would be John Edwards' right hand man. This guy had been with him through the early years of teen aged ambition, and right through to his fall from grace. As he tells it he knew right off that John Boy was going places and he intended to ride along on his coat tales. In an ABC interview he talks candidly about Edwards being his ticket to the big time, as his Shania Twain lookalike wife sits supportively at his side. He also says that he knows exactly where every one of the bodies are buried. Now that John Boy ain't in no position to be helpful anymore there's no more reason to keep mum. In fact spilling the beans could even have it's rewards (like how much did he get paid for the interview and when is the inevitable book coming out?).

Nostalgia for what never was - once and future Kennedys

In the following video the man himself speaks with ABC news about how bad Edwards really was. You may find yourself shaking your head repeatedly during the video. Just remember that though the guy was in a position to know more than anyone about all this sleazy monkey business (Referencing Gary Hart! The dems have gotta stop taking these TV dinner versions of JFK seriously. Camelot is gone - get over it. Trying to recapture the magic has only lead to mischief!) he probably has an angle. So you might have to ask yourself how credible he really is. One thing about politics is that it really brings 'em out of the wood work! Think of this as more food for thought than credible edibles.





Oh yeah and finally a special Wondertrash New Years to Lindsay Lohan up in the Betty Ford Clinic. It really sucks to have to spend the year's No 1 party day locked up in a semi institutional setting. Especially when you're Hollywood's No 1 party girl! So keep your chin up kid. Remember that there's worse off than you, like the poor buggers who have nothing better to do on NYE than read Wondertrash (or lower yet, write it!). That also raises the question of what we can expect from celebrities in the year to come. I'm playing the percentages and predicting more of the same.

Lisa and her lips

Now from big talk about loose lips to loose talk about big lips

Actress Lisa Rinna is pretty well known. Some credit belongs to her costars - those outsized lips that have become her trade mark. Lisa had them packed full of silicone back in 1986, a good 10 years before chicks started routinely getting their smackers blown up with collagen. The surgery served her well for years as she became more and more famous; and her lips became her trade mark.

Me and my big mouth

Lisa was to find out that there can be too much of a good thing. In the case of her lips it was nearly impossible for her to deny having surgery, since human lips generally only get that big if your a carrier of the Voight - Bertrand gene. Her lips were now so big that they virtually spoke for themselves without saying a word! So she had to live down everyone knowing about her big fake lips. Also since they were packed with silicone, certain medical concerns came up over time.

plastic angels

The major difference between silicone and collagen is that silicone is permanent, whereas collagen is temporary, and eventually gets reabsorbed by the body. So with collagen you have to make repeated trips to the doctor to get your lips topped up or they start deflating like party balloons or inflatable couch cushions. If you want to avoid those down in the mouth periods then you can go for silicone. Trouble with silicone is that it can react with the body over time, just like those breast implant horror stories everyone's heard about for 15 years now.

saving face & down in the mouth - there's no people like show people

Medical issues are exactly what Rinna faced during her "Harry Loves Lisa" reality TV series.Since Lisa's lips had been a topic of conversation for some time it might be a smart idea to confront the subject in her show. She'd been coy about answering lip related questions before, so maybe now would be a good time to focus some of that curiosity into her new show. Lisa did a quick fess up on some of the more popular morning chat type shows, and then booked a doctor's appointment. It was a near perfect scheme since it gave Lisa a semblance of creditability by admitting to something that everyone already knows, it attracts some attention to her show, plus she gets that lip problem fixed. It would have been a no lose scenario except for the undoing of so many near perfect schemes - the unforeseen.

watch your mouth

When Lisa visited her doctor for the delipping consultation she ran into the unforeseen. The doctor told her that her lips were in worse shape than she thought. For one thing the silicone had hardened, just like in breast implants. So getting all of the stuff out could be problematic. Since the show must go on, Lisa went ahead with the lip reduction and hoped for an uneventful recovery. Her recuperation period has not only been eventful, it's born out some of her doctor's concerns.

tissue issues

For one thing her lip reduction wasn't straight forward. 20 years of carrying that around in her mouth left her with some tissue damage. Now her lips aren't healing as fast as she expected. In fact her surgeon has told her that it could take as much as 6 months to recover. He told her more to, like be careful when you smile cause your lips might burst. So the upshot is that after 25 years in the business Lisa's lips are getting a well earned vacation, pending possible retirement!

if the wind changes you'll stay that way

Now lip might sound a bit far fetched but lip explosions really can happen. Stephanie Seymour's lips are rumoured to have burst during a transatlantic flight. Her mouth was packed with enough gel to get her on a no fly list under today's restrictions. When the jet hit high altitude and the cabin pressure dropped the pressure got too much and one of her lips ruptured.

Lisa lips - the scariest thing in her life!

So Lisa is taking no chances. She says that she's taking it easy on her lips until she gets the green light from her doctor. Until then there's no smiling, no laughing, and she's avoiding talking as much as possible. Just to be on the safe side. In fact both Lisa and her husband Harry Hamlin are quit concerned about it. Says Lisa "This is turning into the scariest hing in my life. I just hope it doesn't look deformed." A friend goes on to comment that concerns over her lips are driving her crazy. So that's proof for all of you who think that celebs are vain, insensitive, and shallow folk with egos instead of human feelings. It may have taken awhile but Lisa's lips are having the same effect on her now that they have on many others for years!




One thing remains the same; whether she's getting them pumped up or deflated, her lips continue to be a big deal. In fact they're still one of Lisa's most talked about characteristics! You could say that Lisa's relationship with her lips is a little like the case of the tail wagging the dog except it might be even more like those old horror films about the ventriloquist who gets taken over by his dummy! Now - like Pamela Anderson and her breast - it's tough to tell who's really running the show and who's just along for the ride. Congratulations to Rinna for finally putting her mouth in it's place before it ate her career & life. Hope everything works out for an otherwise good natured lady! Besides, maybe Bill Clinton will finally stop stalking her now.

best face forward - just don't get off on the wrong foot

You can't blame Lisa. Woman are judged more on appearance than on performance. The result is that even very accomplished women can fall into the insecurity trap of image tweaking. By taking matters into her own hands perhaps Rinna can send out the right message. Just in time too, before Contessa Brewer's new lips became permanent!

Contessa Brewer looks swell, and maybe swollen!

PS. Lisa, if you're reading vitamin E oil - like you get by breaking the capsules, greatly speeds the healing process. As usual check with your physician before trying. As for Contessa, try putting an ice pack on that till the swelling goes down!

Dog Days - Chewed out like a motherfucker!

Duane Dog Chapman is the host of a popular reality TV show. It's the one where cameras follow him and his team of fellow bounty hunters as the go in pursuit of fugitives. The show has been kind of successful so D Dog has gotten kind of well known. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. One of the bad things is that people pay attention to everything you say. Especially when you say stuff that you'd rather they hadn't heard. Like the time Doggy Duane C went Tourette's during a tape recorded conversation and used the N word about as many times in the course of 5 minutes as Christian Batman Bale uses the F word!

A premedicated plot!

To refresh your memories one of DDC's sons was seeing a black chic. This caused some friction between Duane Dog and his kid. Since Doggy D occasionally uses racially charged language around the office, he didn't want the chick around lest she get the wrong idea and go blabbin'. As the Dogman pointed out later - after the shit had hit the fan - though he was cool enough to get away with using the word others in the office might not have as much street cred. His exact words, as recorded by his son, are "It's not that she's black it's that we use the word n***r sometimes here. I'm not going to take a chance ever in this life of losing everything I worked for, for thirty years, for some f****** n***r who heard us say n***rand turned us in to the Enquirer Magazine." We know this because his son taped him as partof a premeditated plot to fix the old man good. He admitted to it.

That statement is highly ironic considering how the story broke - in the National Enquirer. It wouldn't be the last time. Not that Duane would go Imus again. He was careful about preserving his 30 years work, by preserving what was left of his image. He went on talk shows, wept like Jimmy Swaggart, gave half assed explanations for himself, and said that he wanted to be buried at Mt Vernon Cemetery as a way of standing up and being counted amongst the down trodden - long after it can do him any harm or them any good. He made all the required mea culpa's with such ferocious desperation that the public let him off with it just to end his disgraceful display of self abasement. So Dog had the bases covered. There was still that big mouthed ignorant wife of his.

the big bad bunny

For those unfamiliar with the Dogs Duane's wife is a lady named Beth. I say she's a lady because she has as much to be called that as any other female celeb these days. It's still pushing it though. She's a stocky blond woman who looks like Pamela Anderson after a dose of steroids and training with the Russian Ladies Shot Put Team. She's also got a mouth like a drunken sailor having a fit of swearing sickness. A few years back there was some incident wear a plane got grounded because Beth's mouth went off like a weapon of mass destruction. Duane and Beth were traveling by air to or from something - probably a little of both. Duane is juiced so settle's comfortable into his seat for the trip. The stewardess described him as a perfect gentleman - a perfect little drunken gentleman in a mullet.


Beth was less lady like. When something happened abroad plane that she didn't like she began screaming ans shouting and hollering like she'd just recognized one of America's most wanted. Dog wakes up from his drunken stupor and asks what the fuck is going on before he realizes his better half has malfunction in public again. So he tells her to shut the fuck up and stop embarrassing him in front of people. Meanwhile a freaked out cabin crew has grounded the plane!

So when you got a big mouthed belligerent wife and an office of people who talk like their in a Klu Klux Klan, the race talk language is bound to reoccur again. It's pretty much like keeping a loaded gun with a faulty trigger around the house. Sure enough there's trouble again, as the Blunderbuss has fired!

The whole thing started innocently enough with Duane and Beth getting some renovations done on their bail bonds office. So they hire a gentleman named Bob Talmadge. Talmadge is a pro carpenter so he specializes in these home improvement deals. So he set to work on the Dogs' Edgewater Colo building. At first everything was good. Duane dropped by and thanked the guy for making what D Dog described as a "hole in the wall" into a "nice" office. Then Big Mouth Beth got into the act.

The cure for big mouths - say it with *st*r*sks

Beth dropped by after the job was completed. Beth really didn't feel like paying the dude for services rendered, and since the work was already done she decided that maybe the renovations weren't so great after all. In fact she said that they sucked! She also decided that he'd been stealing stuff while on the job. So she fired him instead of issuing him a check for his work. She also called him a bunch of bad names like "m*th*rf*ck*r!" Here's a little tape of Beth's little tirade.

don't be an obscene fucker!

So you can tell right away that Beth is no one you want to get on the wrong side of. What you can't tell on the tape is that Beth goes on to describe Mr. Talmadge with a word in some dispute Beth called him a "bean sucker". Beans are one of the stables of Latinos. So some, including some Latin American community leaders, want her called on it and the Dogs finally put off of the air. Marcos Gutierrez - head of the Bay Area Hispanic/Latino Anti Defamation League commented that "for some one who sells themselves on TV as a protector of the people this is outrageous." Meanwhile Alex Nogales - president of the National Hispanic Media Coalition - speculated that Beth's big mouth could case trouble for, and even spark hate crimes against, Latinos & Hispanics. He's even petitioning to get the Dogs taken off of the air.

Beth has something to say in her own defense. While she admits to calling the poor man a "bean sucker" she meant in a good really cool way. She claims it had to do with the man's prioson record, and nothing to do with Latinos. She also insists that she really has lost stuff around the apartment: gloves, brushes, etc." So what she wants to know why people are making a big deal out of her actions.

This Kiss

Is that my husband, Baby?

Is Gwyneth Paltrow getting carried away with her recent role as a country music queen? The role has given her a notable acting job outside the Ironman franchise. It has also gotten her beyond the world of GOOP and intro performing her own onscreen vocals. It also got her playing Tim McGraw's wife onscreen!

Now Tim has a wife that you might have heard of. She's called Faith Hill. The second last time you heard of her was when she dropped the F Bomb at the CMA's just after Carrie Underwood got the prize in stead of her. The last time you heard about her was when she defended her man's manhood against an excited fan who jumped up on stage to give McGraw's goodies a grope - air port pat down style! Faith entered into the fray and began chiding the woman by telling her the stuff her mom should've taught her; like gropin' up married men's goodies is really low class and unlady like!



Now the bag grab was probably just good fun on the part of a random fan that Tim will never see again. So you have to forgive Faith for over reacting. Those country music diva's can be high strung. Besides, we live and learn (as Alanis Morissette reminds us). Faith has calmed down alot since the events of 2 or 3 years ago too. In fact she's racked up an impressive maturity level in a short time since she isn't bothered by Tim's close working proximity to Ms. Country Strong.

Not that Faith would have any cause to worry. Gwynnie's got a man. He's Coldplay frontman Chris Martin. Although the two haven't seen much of each other in some time. That's technically not true. In fact the couple haven't been seen together in public for some time. It was so bad five years back that Paltrow felt the need to explain in a statement that got picked up by the National Enquirer. When asked point blank why she and her man were never seen together in the same place at the same time she said that it was for the children. The pair are frequent flyer jet setters and this way if anything happen to one of them in transit, the kids would still have another celebrity parent to fall back.

It's a sensible precaution who's only real flaw is that in the event of something happening the kids will be raised either a rock star or a movie star. Now it might be hoped that the two cancel out, as when picking the kids' religion in a mixed marriage - and the kids' might have a real shot of ending up halfway normal instead of winding up in rehab! It was also a relief to those fearing Gwynnie would come up with some kind of Victor/Victoria type explanation! Anyway it's safe to say that the Paltrow Martin marriage is strained under the pressure of Chris not being Brad Pitt.

That leaves Gwynnie as an attention seeking actress at loose ends and with a history of doing musicians. That would drive most women nuts. Which is what makes Faith's conspicuous maturity so impressive. I say that Hill's maturity is conspicous because Paltrow and McGraw have been kind of conspicuous. That's to be expected since they have their flick coming out, and being conspicuous goes with that territory. McGraw and Paltrow have been at a whole slew of events and promotionals for the movie. How can you possibly not be conspicuous in a situation like that? It would be so futile that Paltrow and McGraw have even given up the attempt.

Maybe that's why the cozy co stars got caught nuzzling up. That happened when Gwyn got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was a great opportunity to promote the film. So inconspicuous was out of the question anyway. That being the case GP & TMcG seemed to say to them selves "What the hey" and went for it - puckering up and kissing each other full on the lips! Some eyewitnesses even say that "They hugged and kissed right on the mouth and were very touchy feely. At one point they were kneeling down in front of Paltrow's star and Tim grabbed her around the waist!"



Now that might sound like a scene from some cornball romance novel, but it had to be an emotional moment in the life of a celebrity and McGraw might've been over come with emotion. Maybe Paltrow was overcome - excitement and an eating disorder can be a hard combo - and Tim was steadying her. Then again maybe they were rehearsing for a play. Besides there's more!

Eyewitnesses go on to report that "They also had their arms around each other while posing for pictures. It's obvious that they care deeply for one another." Now while the facts may bear that interpretation, this also supports the 'overcome with emotion' theory. Gwynnie was clearly in a swoon again and Tim had to hold her up. Paltrow merely held on for support! If some of the recipes she posted in GOOP are any indication the poor gal must be near faint from hunger most of the time, and need as much holding up and support as she can get!

You must know right off that these kind of stories are the sort of rumors carried by supermarket tabloids, internet blogs, and other unreliable sources! If there was anything to it Faith would've gone bonkers, cause this happened right in front of her (Hill was attending the event). You know what a diva she can be when she doesn't know she's on camera and let's the down to earth country gal act slip. However Hill was as cool as a cucumber when the lippy lippy went down.



The general consensus of eyewitness - that is those of the attendees who were looking at Faith at the back of the room instead of front at Paltrow and McGraw - describe her as "not looking happy". In fact one says that She looked "kind of glum when Tim kissed Gwyneth on the lips." Glumness is an understandable reaction since the same bystander says that "The kiss didn't last long - but it sure looked like more than a friends. It wasn't what you call a little friendly peck on the cheek."



So you can tell right there that there's nothing to it. If there was that kind of provocation would've sent Hill into a frenzy the tape of which might have crashed Youtube! As it was she just looked sour and unpleasant, which might be Hill's emotional set point. Just like a screen saver on a dormant computer! So you can get any ideas of some kind of John Mayer Jennifer Aniston style musician hooks up with movie star thing out of your heads right now. At least I won't believe it until I hear the environmental reports warning of recent volcanic eruptions from Mount Faith!

Love Story Is Still Dying Hard

Love is never having to say "Pee in this cup"

More trouble for Redmond O Neal - son of the late Charlie's Angels actress Farrah Fawcett. Now young Redmond is no stranger to trouble, any more than any other member of the O Neal clan. Tatum O Neal was most recently in the news a couple of years back when she got busted on the streets of New York trying to buy crack from a narc. Tatum claimed that she was doing research for a role. That was a lame excuse. For one thing no one's offered her series work for a very long time.

brother bother

Brother Griffith is an even worse mess. He's been in and out of trouble of years. Actually that's a half truth. He's never been out of trouble. His worst incident was when he contributed ot the death of Francis Ford Coppola's son. Ryan was doing some movie project for FFC. So naturally it seemed the thing to do to let the boys hang out. Getting chummy with the Coppola's would be a career boost. Alas those are the kinds of errors of judgment that have helped make Ryan the father that he is.

While Griffith and young Coppola were out on the water in their high speed jet boat Griffith thought that it would be a hoot to run the boat between 2 moored boats. He only saw the tow line between them in time to duck. Not in time to warn his companion. The younger Coppola was killed instantly. This was not only a human tragedy, it also stalled out Ryan's faltering film career.

blood ties

Griffith has had some Redmond related brouhaha too. The worst incident involved a freak out that made tabloid headlines. Redmond has some major drug issues that his family has struggled with for years. At one point it got so bad that they were afraid to leave him alone, lest he go Lohan and make a beeline for the nearest drug score. So Ryan comes up with another of his novel solutions. He leaves Griffith in charge of his younger brother.

the ties that bind

Seems that Ryan had to go out during the Redmond watch period to go do whatever. So he gives Griffith some very express orders not to let the kid out of the house for any reason whatsoever. Ryan goes does his thing - whatever that maybe - and when he returns what should he see but that Griffith has obeyed him tot he letter. Maybe even above and beyond the letter of the law. In order to prevent Redmond from sneaking out to go buy dope Griffith had tied the lad to a chair!

family dysfunction of Biblical proportions

Despite the fact that Griffith had made an effort to follow his father's instructions, and that brothers do this sort of thing all the time, Ryan freaked. He started wailing away on Griffith. Griff wasn't having that so he picked up a fire place poker and started swinging. Ryan runs off up to his room and returns with a pistol., Shots are fired and Griffith's pregnant fiancee getting injured. How depends on which story you listen to. Some have Ryan wounding Griff's fiancee in the arm. Others have him shooting at Griff and the lad wounding the girl himself, while flailing away at his dad with the poker. Details aside the pint is that Ryan could surely teach Charlie Sheen a thing or two about bad behavior.

This whole sad sorry state was a great drain on Fawcett in her final days. As she struggled with cancer, Redmond kept on getting into trouble. He even got busted and had to visit his mom in her final days while wearing a county orange jump suit & shackles, and while being escorted by prison guards. Friends of Farrah say that it's lucky that she was too out of it at the time to fully realize what was going on.

sometimes when we touch - if you've got the money honey I got the time

This added to the strain of her troubled relationship with Ryan. They'd separated years before but got back together at about the time of her cancer diagnosis. Ryan begged her to marry him, but Farrah always refused. People thought that she was being proud and stubborn until more of the story started coming out. Some of it came from Griffith - who hates his father. He told Larry King on air that Ryan was only cozying up to Farrah because he hoped to be remembered in the will. It was then hinted by some of the actress's friends that she kept refusing marriage because she intended to keep Ryan out of the will and didn't want him having any claim on her estate - which he would have had if he had legally been her spouse.

bon vivant mal homme

Farrah finally passes and leaves her entire estate - 4.5 million - to her only son Redmond. Ryan gets zilch. Perhaps that's why he was blowing off some grief with a mystery brunette at about the time, or immediately prior to, Farrah's death. That got picked up by German website Bild.com, complete with a picture of Ryan frolicking with the lady in question. Wondertrash was one of the few English language websites to pick that up. Ryan was still too sympathetic for bigger concerns to dare to release the news. Ryan's sympathetic status would change when daughter Tatum - the crack user - revealed that he'd hit on her during Farrah's funeral. He'd given her the old "Hey babe" routine. Tatum explained away the merry widower's behavior by pointing out that they hadn't seen each other for years - so he didn't recognize her; and besides he was always a "bon vivant". Meanwhile the Redmond story continued to develop.

father goes farther

Griffith - who blew the whistle on his father scheme to get in the will, also warned that Ryan would be Redmond's new best friend now since that's where the money was. The two continued to get int trouble together too. Both father on son got charged in a meth bust. The police raided because Redmond had screwed up his probation. When they searched the house the found methamphetamine in Ryan's bedroom. So the pair were hauled off for father & son mugshots!

something like Peyton Place?

Griff' predictions seem to be coming true. For those who worried about Ryan & Redmond spending time together there's some bad news - the two are joined at he hip these days. In fact they have a closeness that would be the envy of other less dysfunctional father and son's. The reason for the closeness, according to cynics, is money. Not that Ryan is trying to hit the kid up. Farrah foresaw that and left Redmond's money in the hands of executors and trustees; responsible people who are to make sure that the lad stays clean. Ryan ain't named among them. Ryan's latest scheme is more nefarious than that.

Fatherwood - a dose of everything and 'reality' too!

Seems that Ryan has got it in his head that he can cash in by making a documentary about his late partner's life. He's already been shopping it around to. Seems that the selling point is having Redmond on board, since Ryan's name is mud and no one is interested in sullying Farrah's memory by listening to him talk about her. They might feel more genuinely sympathetic towards poor old Redmond. So with that in mind the old man is Redmond's new BFF, and take s the lad with him where ever he goes with an eye to involving the lad in the documentary. Now that sounds pretty low but some are afraid that Ryan has some even worse in mind, possibly a reality TV series instead of a documentary. Docs don't get you anywhere unless you're Michael Moore. Reality TV is where the action is, and even a Palin can cash in to the max!

"We can't all be ace dad's like Alec Baldwin, but I'm no Michael Lohan!"

Now that has friends of the late Fawcett worried. They're worried because Ryan is a horrible influence. That's not just a personal opinion either, but the opinion of the courts. Back in 2009 Ryan was banned from visiting Redmond in rehab. It was as if they thought he was contributing factor No 1 to the poor lad's sad predicament. Then again maybe they were just letting that father son meth bust influence their judgment. Some impressions are so hard to undo.

Your reality check is in the mail

The upshot is Fawcett's friends are concerned that Redmond is still struggling with his issues. If Ryan is too involved in the kid's life at this time it might result in him entering another down ward spiral. That would be a high price to pay just so Ryan can get that deal done. Then again Ryan's never been worried about the price as long as some one else - usually a close family member - is available to pay it. Perhaps if he really wanted to pitch a reality TV series people would want to watch then he could do something where he enrolls in boot camp; ideally a boot camp for boobs!

boot camp boobs

Poor Powergirl. Speaking of which the O Neals ain't the only celebrity family dealing with heavy shit. In fact Hilary Clinton's shit is so heavy that she could use a trip to boot camp! This recent picture shows the Sec of Sate bulging out of a orange pant suit like a spoiled cantaloupe or over ripe orange!

It's a Wondertrash Life!

Happy Hollywood Holidays!

Now some Christmas theme classic Hollywood fare for your holidays entertainment. This was back in the days when leading men volunteered for military service and became high ranking officers in the reserves, rather than getting arrested and going to rehab (rehab is the new community service!). So it's a little different than you're sued to. Still give it a chance cause I hear that this sort of thing grows on you!

Simply Having a Wondertrash Christmas Time!

Now for a break from the usual celebrity gossip, here's a Christmas Classic courtesy of Charles Dickens.



Remember the words of Mr Dickens - "No one in this world is useless who lightens it's burdens for others!"

Dr. Drew concerned about Angelina Jolie!

Forget North Korea - Dr. Drew predicts Jolie will 'go ballistic'!

Dr. Drew Pinsky has finally found some one more interesting than Lindsay Lohan to occupy his attention. Dr. Drew was quite concerned with that young lady's well being ever since she began living life too high in the fast lane. Lindsay started out with the odd car crash but Drew predicted that she would come to a bad end and possibly lose a limb. Lohan pointed out that responsible doctors shouldn't diagnose people they never met, and over television; but Drew wasn't not deterred. After a brief respite Dr. Pinsky was once again hot on Lindsay's tail, and via the media said that if he were her father he would load he car with drugs and notify the police. Failing that he would load her car with guns, bombs and Korans; and then notify Homeland Security. He also may have said that the girl needs some kind of enema - I'm not sure.

Intensive therapy

Lindsay is finally getting the help she needs, or something like it anyway. The actress has finally been sentenced to rehab. In fact rehab has had some recent ups and downs for La Lohan. Only recently it was reported that Lindz was involved in some kind of assault with one of her rehab counselors. Seems that Lindsay had worked out some scheme with a few of her rehab cohorts. That resulted in Lindz & Co. getting nabbed by a female Betty Ford staffer as they were making their way back from a bar (or according to some stories Lindz demanded a safe house because of the presence of some alleged stalker, then availed herself of the opportunities presented by cramming the place with booze!)

"Take your hands off of me" - push comes to shove

Well the staffer confronts Lindz and want sto know what the heel is what. Then she allegedly made her big mistake; she put her hands on Lohan. What followed was and incident in which Lindsay supposedly battered the staffer. Of course Lindsay denied this and claimed that it was the staffer who victimized her. LL claims that she merely grabbed the staffer, and shoved her while telling the woman to "get your fucking hands off of me!" Michael raises 'em fiesty! Anyway the cops got called around about 1 AM, and a 'hand to hand battery' report got filed. When the dust cleared it was the staffer who got charge. That's only naturally since rehab staffers are a dime a dozen but imagine how much lot Lohan is bring into the joint! If staffer had been around she should've expected that!

Do you think like Drew?

Since Lindz is being taken good care of, that gives Dr Drew the chance to relax and turn his attentions else where. Now next to Lohan who's Hollywood's No 1 hot mess. That could be just about anyone but if you guessed Angelina Jolie then you and Drew think alike! Reports recently surfaced by way of the National Enquirer that Jolie is some kind of child abuser. Apparently she's pretty hard on young Shiloh Pitt. Shiloh is one of her bio babies, and she calls her 'the blob'. She also dresses and raises her as a boy. There's some interesting mommy-daughter issues working out there is this is true!

Dredging the dregs with Creepy Sexy Mommy

These stories of Angie flying into rages while 'slapping' seem to suggest that she's found an alternative for her rage to partner Brad Pitt. They've also reminded everyone of what a flake she comes off as. So some old shit got dredged up lately - like Chelsea Handler talking about the brother James Haven make out stories (stories that Jolie is into incest). To be fair JH had to turn out a least a little warped. Having a first name as normal as James had to make him a Hollywood misfit. Just imagine the schoolyard taunting he got. "Hey James!" or "It's Jimbo everybody!". Nailing your hot sister is that's situation's equivalent of the preacher's kid smoking a cigarette to fit in and prove he's not a sissy.

talking smack!

There's more to Jolie than alleged brother fucking though. She's also had some kind of history of substance abuse. Particularly there's smoke talk that Jolie liked her some smack back in the day (Jolie has spoken openly about her drug use in the past, and in an interview in 1998, she said: 'I've done just about every drug possible. Coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything... Those drugs can be dangerous if you don't go into it positively. I gave them up long ago.'). Some video of Jolie, apparently stoned, even surfaced of the actress talking about how many pets she killed off in her formative years (Hollywood actresses have such a destructive growth cycle that it's practically more destructive than growth!). Jolie defenders pointed out that the actresses admissions involved accidental deaths of pets, and not a deliberate holocaust of innocents. That doesn't make her a bad person - the defenders maintain. No one has yet asked directly whether or not it might make her a bad mom!

still crazy after all these years?

The smack talk does have Dr. Drew thinking though. Now that is mind if free from concerns bout Lindsay Lohan's well being, Drew is speculating about the future of Brangelina! Many of us can't fathom their present, let alone any possible future. Most celeb marriages are over faster than you can say Scarlett Johansson, and even if you're Mr. Sexy Ryan Reynolds (that World's Sexiest title was bound to cause problems, especially since Scarlett probably thinks that Reynolds is only really seen as sexy because she did him. So why should he be getting the glory?). So why are those two still around? Perhaps because Jennifer Aniston's career needs them. Probably out of sheer bloody mindedness. Jolie won't leave and give anyone the gratification of saying "I said so!"

Brangelina is going to be a big deal one way or another - predicting the obvious

Dr. Drew is looking forward. Drew is predicting a break up, and he says that when it comes it's gonna be nuclear! In wake of the recent The Tourist premier Drew gave a pretty blunt assessment of the actress in which he rushes in where even foul mouthed blabberer Chelsea Handler (Dennis Miller in his former career as a wag might've described her act as "Vodka & Tourette's Syndrome") might fear to tread. When the topic of Angelina came up recently Dr. Drew said the following:

'There's no such thing as '"I was a heroin addict." That doesn't exist in nature. Something is going on with [her] addiction. Or she's in recovery. And I don't see any evidence that's the case. So we've got one person who's a heroin addict. Which is a chronic lifelong condition, period. We have another person who has said things like, "Well, Jennifer [Aniston] was into long-term relationships, that's just her way of looking at things." I mean, that demeaning attitude towards other people's emotions. Now put those two people together and you have got a really volatile situation. And they're constantly creating things to weld themselves together. Which is only going to serve to make a more nuclear eruption. There will be some sort of meltdown that will be phenomenal when it does happen.'

It's not all bad for Jolie. Her The Tourist flick did get some Golden Globe noms - for Best Comedy. Jolie even picked up a Best Actress nom, for a flick nominated as a comedy. NOw The Tourist was billed as a romantic comedy. Jolie does how that she can at least see the humour in that, replying on being told of her com nom she ROFL'd laughing. "It's the first time that I've been in the comedic category so it's new for me." she said. Rom com is more an Aniston thing. How else can you respond to a very public slap in the face (she hasn't be on the World's Hottest lists in about ten years - and that's enough time for 5 Megan Fox's to have come and gone! This says something about her standing in the larger entertainment community).


PS. Tuning your bullshit detector: Note that Dr. Drew didn't say when Jolie & Pitt would bust up, only that when they would it would be a big deal. Since they've made a big deal out of their relationship - it's been Jolie's main career for about ten years, & is supporting her film career during the awkward period - it's a safe guess that they'll make a big deal out of their split.

Zsa Zsa Gabor Believed Dead

It's been a long sad road down hill for Zsa Zsa Gabor since the days she grabbed public attention by slapping an LA traffic cop for having the nerve to write her a speeding ticket. NOt hat she was ever out of the eye since then. Her husband Prince von Arnholt had some questions to answer when it came out that he'd been tight with deceased sex bunny Anna Nicole Smith. He tried to adopt her back when they were having sex together. Then there were Gabor's health problems. She'd had some heart trouble and a series of strokes that left her in and out of the hospital, and in and out of consciousness, for the past 5 years.

Now it seems that the Zsa Zsa Gabor story has reached it's next chapter. According tot he Pulitzer Prize winning National Enquirer, AFTRA - American Federation of Television and Radio Artists has suspended her pension. The reason that they'e done this is because they believe that the 93 year old actress is dead. Maybe it's not that they believe she's dead as much as they're not sure whether she's still alive. Though that may sound like it's a strange predicament it's every professional actor's worst night mare and generally considered to be a fate worse than death!

Naturally Prince von Arnholt is concerned about this: the check's being cut off that is. He doesn't sound so concerned about his wife. So Prince has decided to take matters into his own hands and set the recrd straight by contacting TMZ. Prince Frederic von Anhalt, told RadarOnline.com that his wife is "surely alive" and he has been trying to get to the bottom of the situation. "Zsa Zsa's pension from AFTRA hadn't been paid since September so I called them to see what was going on and they told me that Zsa Zsa was listed as deceased." You can understand his concern. Some people just hate it when anything happens to the money of some one they love.

Von Arnolt does have some other interests besides his wife's money. He leads and active and busy life. The Prince even wanted to get a paternity test - which The Prince was entertaining a professional woman when she robbed him. She then left the poor Prince handcuffed to the steering wheel of his car and with his pants pulled down. This got even extra attention since it came on the heels of his public statements about possibly being the father of Anna Nicole's young daughter Danilynn. Only a few years back, and shortly after Anna Nicole's tragic demise, von Arnolt got caught out in public with his pants down -literally! That only goes to show that you gotta have respect for the dead.

Now for the many conspiracy buff's out there, this is the latest transmission from Gary Bell & The View From Space!

Star shocker - Cruises separate!

Assuming this is true, and that's a lot for a super market tabloid (although they can be disturbingly accurate), then who saw this coming? Sure it's not what Katie signed on for. We assume that she thought she was getting a short cut to the A List. As it is she became the horse's ass in America's favorite dog & pony show. So we can guess that she started having some second thoughts earlier on. However, and as Tom could probably vouch for, some situations are easier to get into than to get out of. So she seemed stuck. Besides, she and Tom seemed handcuffed together like Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier in the Defiant Ones.

Drunken Mel Gibson calls Jewish Winona Ryder an Oven Dodger

Neigh & Winnie

Winona Ryder: Genre babe of the week #23

Winona Ryder has been called many things over the course of her career: a beautiful woman, a talented actress, occasionally "Wanna Ride Her", and once something very objectionable by disgraced superstar Mel "Worse Than OJ Simpson" Gibson. It was a comment that put Winona ahead of the curve on what sort of fellow Gibson is, and the sort of comment that he was later to become infamous for.

Allie Macabre

This all began back about 15 years ago. It was a simpler and more innocent day when Robert Downey jr. was still on the skids, or worse doing Allie MacBeal (she's some good feel!). Back then Mel was the most popular leading actor in Hollywood, next to fellow superhunk Tom Cruise. Winona still had a thriving career as a pretty and talented leading lady in character type roles. Her melancholy good looks and screen presence had put her on the upswing in Hollywood. Within a short time she would be starring opposite Angelina Jolie in Girl Interrupted, and then go on to get caught with sticky fingers in a series of embarrassing shoplifting cases (Winona has issues ranging from prescription drug abuse to kleptomania). Next stop would be obscurity. At the time of the incident that train wreck had yet to leave the station. Winona still had a viable career presence in Hollywood. Viable enough to get into some A List mega parties. Parties like the one where she crossed paths with Archie Bunker on Methamphetamine Mad Mel Gibson!

"You ain't all that and a bag of chips!"

As Winona recalls in a recent GQ interview she was at one of those mega parties with a gay friend of hers when who should she run into but Mel all drunk and belligerent like. Mel opens his yap an immediately makes some kind of anti gay slur. Winona thinks to herself "OMG" - or whatever people at the time thought of instead of OMG - "This guy's anti gay". She still goes right on talking though cause this is Hollywood, the guy is Mel Gibson, and gay acceptance is still waiting for Will & Grace to carry the cause over the mainstream threshold.

Mad to the Max

So Winona bravely disregards the feelings of her gay friend and keeps chatting away with Gibson (there's no folk like show folk). Some where between the jigs and the reels it slips out that Winona is Jewish. Her actual last name is Horowitz. Everyone knows how Mel is about the Chosen People. They set him off like a Jihadist at a Koran burning. So Mel, liquored up, makes a remark to Ms. Horowitz about her being an "oven dodger".

"Are they like the LA Dodgers or something?"

The 'oven dodger' crack takes a little while to register on Winnie. Maybe at first she thought it had something to do with her escaping a life of domestic servitude and drudgery. Probably she was much to out of it for anything to register on her right away. Then slowly 2 and 2 come together and she realizes that she's been called something a lot more offensive than "Sugartits". No word on whether or not Ms. Ryder continued the small talk after that remark, but she does go on to say something like 'I knew he was a racist homophobe 15 years before any of you and no one would believe me just because I was a fucked up mess!'

He has swastika underpants - we get it!

It's not like Winnie rated high on the creditability scale. She was to rate rock bottom on it in a short time and some shop lifting sprees later. You have to give her credit: even a stopped clock is right twice a day! Also you have to ask "Why speak up now if you knew for 15 years?" Part of the reason was the no one was ready to listen. The more important reason is that the 39 year old Ryder has finally managed to claw her way back from Sean Young like obscurity to a supporting role in the new Natalie Portman flick Black Swan. Ryder plays a washed up ballerina in that and is anxious for it to do well so that she can stop playing a washed up actress in real life! She can also get back to boosting from LA's finer boutiques.

leave Mel alone?

Since Mel is a magnet for publicity these days dragging him into it might help her film in some way that only Winnie's pilled out unstable brain can fathom. It ain't gonna do anything for Mel's Beaver film. Then again Mel has been done for a while now. At worst this is only the final nail in the career coffin. As for Winnie she working and flat on her back back on the map. No word on whether Winnie has opened a Twitter account yet.

How to draw -Kim Kardashian -- drawing tutorial video

Is Angelina Jolie a child abuser?

Is the NE implying that Angie is an unfit mother, or are they merely leaving it to be inferred? They do refer to screaming, slapping, and sobbing on the cover, but you'll have to read this week's National Enquirer to find out! BTW the story involves Jolie's bio child Shiloh, whom she infamously called "the blob" in an interview. Also be sure to check out those "shocking photos" mentioned on the cover!

Hollywood Heartbreak Hotel

sex couple splits

Either there is a strange alignment of planets or some one's text message got loose because there's a slew of high profile celebrity bust ups. First off Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds. They got married about a couple of years back. They hooked up back in the heady days of Obamamania. That was an optimistic time and people may have been more inclined to take chances. Well Obamamania is over and so are the Reynolds-Johanssons.

The couple have issued the standard press release in which they wish each other well, claim that they are still friends, and refuse to blame each other for the bust up. Now the split must've been a bad one if they feel the need to put a good face on it like that. Some gossip sites are claiming that they've been busted up for the past 6 months. Maybe Ryan decided to enjoy his Sexiest Man Alive status.

Insiders say that it was Scarlett who initiated the split. Apparently she's been unhappy in the relationship for awhile (it couldn't have been that long because the marriage hasn't lasted that long). AS for Ryan, he's seeking comfort with his ex. Ryan's people are quick to emphasis that comfort doesn't mean in a sexual way. There's still a divorce proceeding going on and who would want it to shift from irreconcilable difference to alienation of affection or even adultery.

Hurley loses another one

Ryan and Scary ain't the only pair of love birds to fly into that great high rise window known as divorce. Elizabeth Hurley has filed for divorce from her significant other Arun Nayar. Hurley has had a colorful past, maybe even more so than her former main man Hugh Grant. Back in the days when they were still together Liz cheated on Hugh with her Passenger 57 co star Tom Sizemore.

Sizemore was a talented actor but is better known today as a drug addict, occasional Celebrity Rehab guest, and frequent mention in gossip and crime columns. Sizemore is heavy drug user and looks skeevy, so who knows what kind of diseases she risked by hooking up with him. AS for Sizemore, he admits he did Hurley, but only as a way of putting Grant in his place. He said in an interview that while he was doing Hurley he kept picturing Grant's "smug handsome face". Now he's probably not the first guy to picture some one else while plugging Hurley's bung hole, but that borders on latent homosexuality.

So they went their separate ways: Grant to a $40 dollar blow job and mug shot, Hurley to Arun. She came to that marriage with a rep, and bill of health, only slightly better than Paris Hilton. Arun's family is very well off so naturally they were less than thrilled about Hurley as an addition to the family. Arun's mom took the news almost as badly as Danny Moder's mom when she learned that her son was doing Julia Roberts. Arun's father disowned him. Since Arun worked in the family business and lived on the family estate, this cramped his style. There's a good woman behind every successful man!

Well that thing has run it's course with the announcement that the Hurley-Nayar marriage has gone tits up. It had a good reason for going tits up too - Hurley is allegedly cheating with Aussie cricketer Shane Warne. For those unfamiliar with Warne he looks like a big meatball with spiky blond hair and an orange rub on tan. Think of him as a grown up Bart Simpson on steroids! So it's lucky for Hurley that she managed to bag him before Katie Jordan Price snapped him up. Liz has her hooks firmly in though - it's been reported that the odd couple spent the night together in London's Bently Hotel! The good news is that Nayar can now move out of the dog house and back into the family home!

Wonder Woman dumped?

That brings us to Megan Gale and Andy Lee. They're kind of a big deal Downunder. Megan was almost a big deal all over, since she was cast to play Wonder Woman in a now defunct film project that also was to feature Common as Green Lantern. Apart from that she was best known as a runway model and David Jones spokesperson, until Miranda Kerr got her job. Not that Miranda edged her out. Megan quit convinced that Wonder Woman was gonna be her ticket to movie stardom. Everyone assured her that the project was a go and Megan being unfamiliar with movie people believed them. That was very naive of her. It alos left her at loose ends.

Without much in the way of a career Gale started her own fashion line - Isola. She also got sued over the name since it was similar to another fashion design firm. When she wasn't designing bikini's she was a regular guest host on her boyfriend's popular radio show Hamish & Andy Lee. So you could say that she was in a slump.

It gets worse. Megan is currently about 33. That's not only past your best before date as a fashion model (but don't get me wrong because Gale is till unbelievably gorgeous), but it's running into overtime with your biological clock. Gale made some noise about reproducing, but Andy made more noises about being happy with the current arrangement. So Andy kept grinning as Gale's facial features kept contracting into a tight little knot at the center of her face. Eventually the inevitable happened and Megan cut Lee loose. They made some public statements about still being the best of 'mates', and even cracked wise about Megan being seen kissing Liz Hurley in a glass elevator. It's a relief to know that's a joke since Gale can do way better!

When Dexter gets messy, he gets seriously messy

That brings us to another 2 year bust up. Dexter star Michael C Hall has split from his wife Dexter co star Jennifer Carpenter. They seemed like a good match since they're both Southerners and serious television actors. When Hall got cancer Carpenter nursed him through his illness much the way Loni Anderson nursed Burt Reynolds through his health issues. That had some commenting that Carpenter was a keeper.

Hall wasn't to keep her long. Rumors started circulating about some awful fights between the couple on the Dexter set. The fights supposedly pertained to Hall's supposed cheating with Julia Stiles. So there's a kick in the pants for everyone who still insisted that Hall was a closeted gay. Some reports have Dexter doing Stile since October. Lainey says:

I mentioned yesterday that there are a few more details about one of the recent splits announced in Hollywood this week. Turns out there was someone else: his love interest this season on his tv show. Their chemistry was so crazy and so evident to everyone that writer and producers, seeing it play out on set, actually cranked up their sex scenes to capture it for show. Her career has seen a resurgence since.

Eventually the two fell in love. They were together, very close, at a Halloween party in New York this fall hosted by a famously controversial writer (this isn’t a super important detail) and those who observed them that night are not surprised now that he’s ended it with his wife.

So that has everyone speculating on the future of the series. In particular it has everyone speculating about Carpenter's future with the series. Things are so tense between the estranged couple now that it's practically impossible for them to work together. So if the series is to survive then some one has to go. Since it's unlikely to be Hall, it looks like Carpenter's character Deb Morgan may not survive this season. Just another example of how fucking in the work place can be such a bad career move. It's also an example of how looks and money aren't the answer to life.