Gary Collins goes rogue

Gary Collins is in a whole heap of trouble. For those who don't know who Collins is he's a former morning show host and a celebrity drunk. These days he's much better known as a celebrity drunk. Every so often Mr. Collins likes to get liquored up and get behind the wheel. Mr. Collin's publicists might debate that. The court's wouldn't. Gary has had a few vehicohol related arrests, including a recent one.

Collins was supposed to show up in court on Nov 4rth regarding his most recent infraction. However for some unknown reason Collins was a no show. So the judge got mad and issued a $100 000 warrant for the rogue celebrity's arrest. The judge is taking this so seriously not only because Collins is showing a Lindsay Lohan style disregard for the law, but also because he is a two time offender. In his most recent vehicular mishap, down in Mississippi, one of the passengers in the car he hit swears that GC was boozed up behind the wheel. Of course Collins got off on a hit and run charge for that.

The sad part is that Collins was due in court for a probation hearing. Had he shown up the judge probably would have terminated the probation. Now Gary is looking at tons of trouble and possibly jail time.

In other news a heavily pregnant Miranda Kerr was seen out and about showing off her baby bump. The bump is getting obvious however most of Miranda's weight gain seems to be in and around her valuable face, which has swollen up like a volleyball. Just take a look at these shocking pictures!


Whether or not Miranda might be described as "radiant", she has surely looked happier.

If you're like most celebrities then you can be a little flighty. That might incline you to misplace things; like your cell phone full of incriminating text messages, your lap top with that home made sex tape in it, or that drug stash that you didn't think was still in your purse when the cops pulled you over. Khloe Karadashian has lost stuff to. In her case it was her virginity, and she spoke about that at length on the View recently. Here's what she had to say:

‘He was only I think, 18, but from 14 to 18 now looking back, I think that’s not a normal thing. I feel like I was almost conned; well, not conned, but persuaded. He was older and I felt I wouldn’t be accepted or cool or whatever. Then I do remember when I was done, I felt, after two months of secretly dating this guy, I felt so disgusted with myself.’ Adding, ‘I stopped talking to him and actually didn’t have sex for three years after that because I knew I was young and I knew I wasn’t ready.’

Bristol Palin couldn't have put it as well.

Finally we end where we began, with celebrity drunks. If you're a regular gossip follow then you heard about David Cassidy's run in with the law. He got caught down on the Florida turnpike weaving all over the road. When some friendly officers stopped him and asked if anything was wrong, he replied that he was tired, was coming from a funeral, had taken a glass of wine and a pain killer for his back, etc. Law enforcement officers saw right through his numerous excuses to the half empty bottle of bourbon rolling around the back seat and placed yesteryear's version of Justin Bieber under arrest for impaired driving.

Even though the cops had him on dash cam, the actor maintained that he was not drunk. He made a public statement saying that he would never endanger the lives of his fans, and the some what indifferent greater public, by driving around the turnpike juiced up like a rogue torpedo shot from a loose cannon. His spokes persons then made some official statements standing by the funeral-back-wine-pill-missed yoga story.

Well Keith Partridge has made it official. His attorney has just recently submitted his not guilty plea to a Florida court, and in writing no less. Dave was not present at the hearing. If he gets busted on this he's looking at a $1000 fine and as much as 6 months in prison - though some kind of rehab is far more likely. Rehab is the new community service. Also he really should seek some psycho therapy to get closure on his Susan Dey hang up. If Dexter Morgan can marry Deb you're in the clear Keith.

BTW I cannot confirm the rumor that Gary Collins is currently in Canada and seeking refugee status - but don't be surprised if it's true.

Oscar Nominated Italian Film Maker Dies in Apparent Suicide

Mario Monicelli was one of Italy's best known film makers. He was the writer and director of many of that countries favorite comedies from the 40's to the 60's. He was even Oscar nominated. So it made news when the elderly film maker jumped to his death from a window in Rome's San Giovanni hospital yesterday. Monicelli was suffering from terminal prostate cancer.

This comes in the wake of the death of another Italian film maker Dino De Laurentis earlier this month. In fact Monicelli was one of the people interviewed for a response on the death of De Laurentis.The pair had worked together on the 1963 Oscar nominated The Organizer. According ot Monocelli, De Laurentis had told him to stay strong and "told [him] to be brave. He said if you push forward, without fear, you can accomplish most things."

Monocelli started his career in 1935. During his career he worked with some of the most notable Italian actors, such as Toto, Alberto Sordi, Vittorio Gassman and Marcello Mastroianni (He worked with Mastroianni in Big Deal on Madonna Street in 1958). He would even rack up another Oscar nomination for Casanova '70. He was to continuing working well into old age. A film about his neighborhood in Rome, Monti, was entered in the Venice Film Festival only 2 years ago. He was also an outspoken critic of Italian Prime Minister and media baron Silvio Berlusconi.

Monicelli wasn't the only accomplished film maker to die recently. Irvin Kershner, director of The Empire Strikes Back, died in his Los Angeles home Saturday after a 3 1/2 year battle with lung cancer. He was 87.

George Lucas met Kershner while attending his lectures at USC and said he “knew one thing for sure: I didn’t want to direct the second movie myself. I needed someone I could trust, someone I really admired and whose work had maturity and humor. That was Kersh all over.

“I didn’t want Empire to turn into just another sequel, another episode in a series of space adventures. I was trying to build something, and I knew Kersh was the guy to help me do it. He brought so much to the table. I am truly grateful to him.”

Leslie Nielsen Dead

Veteran comedic actor Leslie Nielsen has died at 84 in a Fort Lauderdale hospital of complications following a bout of pneumonia. The actor had been hospitalized for the past 12 days and died peacefully in his sleep with his friends, family, and wife Barbaree at his side. Nielsen acted in over 100 films in the course of his career, as well as doing countless TV spots. Rather than eulogize the late actor let's remember him from one of his best known roles Det. Frank Drebbin in the Naked Gun.



O.J. Simpson was still a beloved media personality - those were innocent days. No one would hire him to play a cop these days, since he crossed the line from make believe good guy to real life villain. Now here's Gary Bell with the latest transmission of The View From Space.

Ugly Betty actor says God made him kill mother

Michael Brea was a one time bit actor on TV series Ugly Betty. He's gained a measure of fame beyond that accorded to television history footnotes. This fame doesn't come from outstanding work in entertainment. Nor does it come from the usual drug related fuck ups. Brea has developed some serious mental issues that caused him to murder his own mother.

"I didn't kill her. I killed the demon inside her."

Brea had an altercation with his mother last Monday in the Brooklyn apartment they shared. Somehow God got into the issue. You see Brea was hearing voices, one of whom he claims was God's. These voices told him that his mother had a devil in her that needed to come out - one way or another. So after some shouting and screaming in which Brea asked his mother whether or not she believed in the Lord, and Brea's mom answered "no" at high volume; Brea took a ceremonial Freemason sword a slashed his mother to death. Brea's account of the incident follows:

"She had the voice of the demon," Brea said. "I asked, 'Do you believe in God?' She said, 'No, Michael no,' and began screaming. I began slashing her like this," he said, making violent hacking motions with his right hand.

He added: "I didn't want to kill her right away. I wanted to give her time to get right with God," he said.

The police arrived, but Brea says he knew he had time to finish the job. "I knew they wouldn't open the door and stop me because the spirits were protecting me," he said. "I just kept cutting her. No one could stop me. I was doing the work of God."

Not surprisingly Brea was arrested and charged with second degree murder and criminal possession of a weapon. However there's still the issue of his mental state to be determined. So Brea is being held in Bellevue psych ward pending psychiatric assessments. Should he prove sane and responsible for his actions - which is unlikely - he will have to stand trial. If not, then he'll be spending some more time in the mental. That is until doctors determine that he is once again well enough to rejoin the community.

Brea's outrageous crime isn't the sort of scandal that gossip followers are accustomed to. We expect the usual racist rants or drug fueled mayhem. However it's not unknown. When it comes to celebrity crime Roman Polanski holds a special place. His wife Sharon Tate was brutally murdered by the Manson Family in what has been described as a helter skleter type scheme for world domination. The idea being that the Manson Family would commit the crime in such a way as to get black radicals blamed. This was supposed to precipitate a race war that would destroy America and leave the Manson Family positioned to emerge from the rubble and take charge. Others say that there was a more mundane explanation. That story has the murders occurring because of a drug deal gone bad, or outstanding drug debts. Some even say that one of the neighboring houses was the actual target, and that Manson's merry band of misfits messed it up and hit the wrong location.

Anyway Roman got a fair bit of sympathy over that. Sympathy was short lived when Polanski himself was charged with statutory rape of a 13 year old he was photographing for a magazine shoot. According to the story Polanski brought the young woman up to his friend Jack Nicholson's house where he plied her with champagne and Quaaludes. Once the chemistry was right the photo shoot was abandoned and Polanski anally penetrated the young girl. That lead to criminal charges and an ensuing scandal.

Now Polanski claimed in his own defense that the girl wanted it, that her mother gave her permission, and that there was no doubt about the young woman's experience and willingness. The "what's the big deal" defense aside, his actions were still illegal, so the courts geared up for a major trial. Polanski claims that he was assured no jail time if he cooperated. He also claims that the judge began changing the rules mid game. Fearing that he was gonna get set up and sent away, he bought himself a one way ticket to Europe, and never returned to the USA. That has made him the most famous celebrity fugitive right up til Randy and Evi Quaid.

If you have about 90 minutes to spare here's a more detailed account of the Polanski story in the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted & Desired.

John Travolta sues Gawker over sex life smear

John Travolta has recently welcomed his new son Benjamin into the world. Even though this is a blessed event, now is not a time of undiluted happiness for the actor. Travolta is suing the Gawker over a series of articles on his 'secret sex life'. The article in question was penned, or posted, by Robert Randolph, and contained excerpts from his salaciously titled book The Secret Sex Life of John Travolta. According to Randolph's self published book, the author claims to have seen Travolta frolicking about steam rooms with hunky young men on multiple occasions. In fact Randolph claims to have stories on Travolta going back some 15 years.

There are usually at least two sides to every story. In this case Travolta's law talkin' guy Marty Singer is there to present the B side. According to Singer these allegations are “false and outrageous”. Singer also goes on to point out that these stories go back 15 years, yet Randolph has only just recently brought them to light. Singer then goes on to point out that the idea that Travolta “engaged in multiple adulterous sexual encounters in different public locations in Los Angeles (where he does not live), and that each time, the (nonexistent) events were coincidentally witnessed by [Randolph], is absolutely ridiculous.” Singer then goes on top point out that Randolph - by his own admission - suffers from permanent brain damage. According to Singer this adds up to “blatant defamatory lies” from a “patently unreliable source.”

Now when your good name is besmirched like that the usual recourse is to the law. So Travolta and Singer are suing. They claim that Gawker is “significantly compounding the damages” incurred by Travolta. With that in mind Singer is demanding - on Mr Travolta's behalf, that the Gawker immediately and permanently remove said article from their site & and publish an “unequivocal and prominent retraction of the false and defamatory statements.”

If you're gonna take aim at big game like that then make sure you've got a unimpeachable source, or at least some one without brain damage. Without the wonder, it's just trash.

Happy Wondertrash Thanksgiving

Only in Canada - pity!

Not everyone is a fan of the Canadian immigration system. The many gaping loopholes have some people irked. There are a couple of people who are grateful for our system, and especially the gaping loopholes. Those people are our friends from south of the border Randy & Evi Quaid. Now if you'll recall Randy & Evi went rogue a little while back. They allegedly ripped off a bunch of B&B's then went on the lam across country. When they resurfaced it was outside a bank in an upscale Vancouver neighborhood, and in the midst of a whole bunch of squad cars.

Now those who thought that Randy & Evi were gonna have to go back to the USA to face the music had another thing coming. Seems that Randy had a trick up his sleeve. He applied for refugee status claiming that he was a persecuted celebrity. According to Quaid an organized group of starwhackers - business types in suits - had marked him for death so that they could take over the $40 million that he's earned over the course of his career.

That's a pretty outrageous statement but Randy could back it up - sort of. He pointed out that many of his colleagues had died mysteriously; like Heath Ledger and David Carradine. He also pointed out that his manager had accessed his royalty stream in perpetuity. So they didn't even need his signature anymore. What's more his lawyer had started a internet gossip site with Goolge - to make money and smear celebrities. That's a clear conflict of interest.

With so much confusion in Quaid's life it must be good to find a safe haven. According to the fugitive couple that's exactly what Canada is to them. In an interview covered in the Huffington Post Quaid said that "I feel good. If it wasn't for Canada's refugee laws my wife and I would be dead," . Quaid is currently facing a couple of hearing before the refugee board; one to determine his refugee claim and another to determine his admissibility into the country. The admissibility hearing is set for Dec. 22. The good news is that the couple seem in high spirits, and if the above video is any indication they're already boning up on their Canadiana. In fact they got general knowledge questions that most Canadians wouldn't have managed. So they should fit in fine once they get to begin their news lives in the Great White North. That is just as long as they don't get caught. Stay free, you crazy kids!

The Party at Kitty and Stud's

Coming soon!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Have you got $412,100.00 to throw away? Unless you're a crooked CEO the answer is probably "no". If you did though then you might be able to buy a little piece of motion picture history. The piece of history in question is a 35mm film featuring a future Hollywood superstar in his unlikely first role.

Most actors didn't start out at the top. Sean Connery was an undertaker's assistant, Brad Pitt dressed as a giant chicken (not Peter Griffith's animated nemesis), Courtney Cox & Johnny Depp were telemarketers, and Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger had that unfortunate Hercules Goes to New York flick. Now Sylvester Stallone's contribution to show business regret has come to light. It's the aforesaid movie being auctioned off on EBay, and what makes it really special is that it's soft core porno.

The movie is called The Party at Kitty and Stud's, As you can probably guess Sly plays Stud. He was paid a mere $200 for 2 days work. However after his career took off, the producers of The Party At Kitty And Stud's renamed their little venture The Italian Stallion. Stallone went on to make well more than $200 a picture. His latest release The Expendables has put him back on the Hollywood map by grossing $265 million worldwide. So who knows what future collectible value this little gem might have! I just hope Stallone's little outing is as entertaining as Oscar dela Hoya's home films!

Kat loses cat

More trouble for TV tattoo artist Kat von D. Now this doesn't have anything to do with dating Jesse James (they're dunzo) or making anti Semitic remarks. Sometime last night Kat's house caught on fire. Kat lost everything. She also lost her beloved pet Valentine in the blaze. Valentine is a hairless cat and Von D was quite broken up over the lose. You can tell because she got right onto Twitter to share her grief with the world (probably borrowed a friend's blackberry). Say Von D by way of the social network/texting medium: "My house burned down last night with my cat inside. In order to gain everything, you must lose everything…R.I.P. My little Valentine."

This tragedy occurred while Von D was busy hyping her new book Tattoo Chronicles. Now just cause you have to lose everything to get everything doesn't mean that you shouldn't stop going for it. Kat didn't let up for one second either! The controversial tattoo artist twitted earlier today that:


Kat also tweeted that she was looking forward to her meet and greet but asked for "positive energy". In plain English that means "no hecklers". So get out there and buy one of those books, for little Valentine, & be nice. There's no people like show people...

Valentine isn't the only one who had a rough night. Anyone who dates Charlie Sheen is taking a chance, and by chance I mean a risk. That is if the girl caught up in his latest scandal - porno actress Capri Anderson - has given an interview revealing shocking details from her night of horror with Charlie Sheen!



Now here's the latest transmission from Gary Bell & the View From Space.




Much food for thought.

Erin Barry is spicy, Google search spicy!

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are in the middle of an on again off again divorce. That's a kind of sarcastic way of putting it so let's just say that they've had an eventful week. At the week's start there was a rumour going around that the power couple were decoupling in the form of a high powered celebrity divorce. After that tidbit had been circulating through the grape vine for 24 hours or do Eva people released an official statement that the rumours were bullshit. She and Tony were happier than ever and nobody had no plans about going no where. That brings us up to mid week. Now, with the week running out, it seems like there's some confirmation on the Longoria-Parker bust up rumours.

The confirmation comes in the form of a young woman named Erin Barry. She's the wife of a former Spurs teammate of Parker's - Brent Barry. Apart from a Spurs connection the pair have something else in common too - text messages. There are 100's of 'em if the scuttlebutt is to be believed. They came to light in the worst possible Tiger Woods type way too. Eva found 'em. With that Eva went out and filed for divorce. Eva has denied filing for divorce, but such reliable sources as Sports Illustrated are going with the story - unofficially anyway!

Sports Illustrated Bryan Armen Graham tweeted, “Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry… Don’t have much else on Parker/Longoria affair. Source did mention Barry and wife are going through a divorce.” Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush revealed to his Twitter followers, “We spoke to Erin Barry…Brent Barry’s wife from San Antonio Spurs…she cried and said “No comment”.

This was a particularly stupid thing for Parker to do. For one thing he and Longoria married without benefit of a pre nup. Thatw as a major bone of contention between Eva and her future former mother in law back when she and the Spurs point guard got hitched in Paris a few years back. Tony's mom thought that a prenup was a must have form of marriage insurance. Her rational: Tony made way more money than Eva. Plus he had better long term prospects. Eva was a TV actress who's career was uncertain from one TV season to the next, whereas Tony was a world class athlete who could look forward to maybe 10 years in the game. That gave him a earning potential of several dozen times Eva's.

Eva had a counter argument - they were gonna last forever. For one thing she's Eva Longoria. So no man could ever possibly leave her. Besides this was her very special day and she didn't want Tony's mom fucking up the festivities with her divorce talk. That's such a downer. So Eva laid down the law in the form of an ultimatum - "You can come to the wedding, but you gotta cut out the prenup talk!" Tony's mom tried another appeal to reason. Guess who won out?

So that has left our lovebirds working without an net. That's fine and well, as long as you don't trip up. With Eva's career in a terminal down turn, this could be a great time for her to cash in on this divorce thing. You can't say that the cunning little minx doesn't know what she's doing. As for Tony - you should'a listened to your mom! Still it could be worse. Gloria Allred could be horning her way into the act!

Read more: Erin Barry, the lady behind divorce of Eva Longoria and Tony Parker | JackTimes.com

what's on in the box?

This has got to be kind of embarrassing. Especially when you're Eva Longoria and have a certain reputation for sexiness to live up to. It might help to put things into some kind of perspective - like such as it could have been worse. "How could it have been any worse than it is?" you might well ask. I might well ask that myself and I'm an entertainment blogger! Just look at it his way - at least you're not Contessa Brewer!

"I'm a valedictorian - get me out of here!"

Slimey Hidey Hole

"What the hell is going on there?" you might well ask. It would be another excellent question. What's going on there is Contessa's coverage of the fall of Saddam Hussein. During the fun and frivolity of Bagdad's fall Saddam's hidey hole got discovered by some intrepid journalists. So what with things being as they were some one got the bright idea of getting Brewer to give ti a try. Getting locked in a box rife with a madman's funky scent just had to be the reason she became a journo in the 1st place (that would explain her time with Don Imus). I can just imagine some mischievous crew man saying out of microphone range "Hey Contessa, he must've whacked off plenty while he was in there!" Not like there was much else to do.

let me slip into something uncomfortable

Now the rationale behind that little stunt is obvious. Contessa is one hot babe with a reputation for heart stopping sexiness second only to Eva Longoria's. So some one probably got the bright idea that the whole story would be far more titillating if Contessa slipped into something more red, and then climbed into the stink box, damsel in distress style. To give Brewer credit she does seem unenthusiastic about the whole deal.

I can only give Ms Brewer the very same advice and consolation that I would to Eva herself - half assed platitudes! It could be worse. Besides Lynda Carter did that stuff all the time back on Wonder Woman. Of course when she got locked in boxes she was usually also bound and gagged. Kudos to Brewer for refusing to take it that far! Then again she was already in Al Capone's vault territory - so the stunt couldn't stand going any farther!

So that about clues everything up except for the outstanding question"What possessed Tony Parker to cheat?" He's got a hot wife and no prenup so if he found himself tempted the right answer should have been obvious - practice gun retention. "Brother get the rocket back in your pocket!" As usual cartoons have a certain insight to share on the human condition, and in this case Tony's motivation may have been something like this:



So remember to keep on trucking but give the old giggity giggity a rest long enough to come up for air, and to check in on Wondertrash!

English woman hit by lightning - nervous bystanders hope for the best

Is it the wedding of the millennium again already?

That title is a little misleading. The woman hasn't been struck by lightening. Lightening sounds so sudden and this has been coming on for about 8 years now. That's because the lady in question is Katherine "Waity Katy" Middleton, and the lightening came in the form of a formal proposal from her beau Prince William. The proposal is for a position that no woman over the age of 30 - and old enough to remember the last next queen of England - would take on a dare! William has asked Kate to do him the very great honour of allowing him to make her the most famous woman on Earth.

waity late - better Kate than never

The pair have been hangin' out together for longer - it seems - than Sam & Diane on Cheers, or that other couple on Wings - only without the entertaining romantic tension of personal jabs. Prince William did have other things to do - like stay out of Afghanistan, and find gainful employment as a search and rescue helicopter pilot in North Wales (woo - a real job. Something to fall back on in case the honours List falls through. It's good for a celebrity to have a back up plan involving useful work, just in case they lose their super powers!). He also occasionally attended benefits in honour of his late mother Diana. That left Kate proving her commitment to duty by quietly biding her time (and allegedly having rivals quietly killed on the side - kidding! But seriously, anyone seen any of those young women from S Club 7 lately? I'm just sayin', that's all. I'm sure that there's nothing to the rumours about them currently helping support the cement foundation blocks in a North Sea oil rig. Badda-bing!). Well congratulations Katie - I guess; cause you've passed the test.

"Oh Will, I'm happier than Bella Swan was when that horrible monster fell in love with her!"

While the Brit press was speculating whether or not Wills was gonna shit or get off of the pot; the sneaky lad quietly informed his nearest and dearest - that pack of leathery old reptilians who look like Monty Burns from the Simpson and are otherwise known as The Royal Family, that this was it. He then went on to ask Master Middleton whether or not he might have the honour of his daughter's hand in marriage - with dibs on the rest of her if the spirit should so move him. Middleton is no fool so he said yes. It was probably a rhetorical question anyway. With that the wedding is one for spring or summer next year - according to Clarence House. Clarence House is the palace office that handles the Prince's business, and not the name of the character that Hugh Laurie plays on TV. William presented Kate with the very ring his late mother wore for her own engagement.

Ring a ding ding!

The Lady Di ring thing must've made Kate's hair stand on end, or at least put a chill down her spine. Things didn't work out so well for the late and lamented Diana Spencer after she got herself royaled up. Though it was touted as a story book wedding at the time, the show quickly turned into tabloid fodder. Diana went through more personal crises than 20 years of Oprah Winfrey might adequately cover. When she was either doing public appearance or freaking out she was taking her mind off of her troubles with flaky New Age pastimes like 'colonics' (That's when rich ladies who can't crap have high pressure hoses inserted up their rectums and have jets of water shot up into their bowels. It's supposed to loosen up everything that was quietly fermenting in there instead of following it's natural life cycle out and down the toilet.) and 'plastic surgery'. She also developed an interest in anorexia and bulimia along the way. When the marriage finally broke up, even Mother Theresa was relieved. Diana wasn't to get off of the hook that easily, and things came to a head when she and her then lover Dodi Al Fayd were tragically killed in Paris during a high speed chase with paparazzi.

Run Kate - it's a trap!!!

Hopefully things will work out better for Wills & Kate. For one thing Diana was a blue blood while Kate is a scrappy little commoner (who's father owns a ruddy great factory or something equally unroyal. Remember that you can't really buy class - not if you made your own money anyway, but you can marry into it!) . Random common folk are much hardier than tragic heroines.

why history won't repeat it's self again this time

We've learned more about the dangers of royal celebrity marriages since the untimely death of Princess Diana too. William has practically gotten kid glove treatment from the media compared to the ordeal that his late mother had to endure. Back in those bad old days paparazzi would steal Princess Diana's stool and have it sniffed over by retired police dogs to get shit! So using a gas station rest room - or Going Britney as celebs call it - was more than she dared do! Also people will be genuinely surprised if the ambitious and hard headed Kate shows even one tenth of the style, personality, and charisma that the woman who'd have been her mother in law - had she lived - had. So she might escape misfortune on the basis of not being interesting enough to bother (there's a lesson in there for the rest of us - if you can't avoid attracting attention then at least have the good sense to be dull about it. That is unless your job is being Kanye West, in which case Go For It!). Very clever of Will to pick out a dull girl like that. Besides, it's not like they're rushing into anything - so that's a good sign in it's self.

Spaced Out Sunday: From stereotype to archtype and on past the lunatic fringe

Heroes and villains: send in the clowns

What's behind the cult of celebrity? Is it a morbid interest in the comings and goings of those no better than ourselves? Or is it an attempt to escape from the mundane by finding some wonder in our immediate and not too distant surroundings? Celebrities spring forth from glossy tabloids like costumed superheroes in dime store comic books as they enact the pro wrestling formula routines and stunts again and again. Though their style is campy and carnival there's a little something of the mythic creeping in there. Great entertainers are referred to as "stars", like ancient heroes that were immortalized in constellations, and usually after undergoing the tragedy off falling hard after flying too high! It was as if many were trying to prove their own distinctiveness by climbing the mountain so that lightening would find them easier to strike. "Top of the world, Ma!" For the most part the seemed more like they were playing with fire than reinventing the wheel.

from Hollywood to the lunatic fringe: 1000 points of light or moonbeams from a larger lunacy?

Stars themselves are great mystery seekers, though true to form they seek it in the crass and bizarre. Celebrities may join religious cults promising to give them super powers or clue them in to a destiny even more remarkable than that of over paid entertainer - "What a coincidence! I always knew I was special! Even before I went OT.". Some might even get mixed up in secret societies Like Mel Gibson who has joined some radical crypto Catholic groups in an attempt to fight the good fight against Freemasonry & International Zionism. Other will join meditation groups, or see UFO's (often like Anne Dementia Heche after a period of personal trauma and prolonged drug abuse). Still more, like Randy & Evi Quaid, will imagine themselves as the central players in a vast international conspiracy theory. "It's starwhackers I tell ya - the scourge of Follywood!" More, like Charlie Sheen, gravitate into the 911 truth movement after years of pill popping (Charlie gets his illegally online over the Internet according to Denise Richards back when she was divorcing him and before she discovered how becoming an ex husband can make you a great father!). The point being that in this they're just like us. We read our horoscopes, call telephone psychics, wish on wishbones and falling stars in hope of something a little bit special. God help us if we ever get it since, as celebrities also show, special can turn weird quick.

starwhackers & starhustlers

How weird can weird get? Well, like the uses of the stone wheel, that's only limited by our imaginations. Here's a little sample of where human imagination with a touch of paranoia and ego mania can take you, in Justin.tv's Down he Rabbit Hole. This is your chance for a little Sunday evening pretending. Have fun down the rabbit hole. Just remember to find your way back again.

Watch live video from Down The Rabbit Hole on Justin.tv
BTW search for wonder in the mundane is a lot of the appeal of the wildly popular Harry Potter Books. Of course in the case of Harry Potter this is pure evil. At least that's what Gary Bell has to say in the last broadcast of his The View From Space. Just have a listen for yourself to find out whether or not there might be more to HP than you realized.

Beautiful Loser - Is Megan Fox a Druggie?

A long time ago, back when Megan Fox was the second coming of sex...

When Megan Fox got dropped off of T3 everyone naturally assumed that director Michael Bay had enough of her big overactive mouth. After all she did basically call T2 a piece of crap, or something, on a late night talk show. Actually she said the Transformers wasn't about great acting. Since Bay didn't set out to make A Man For All Seasons some didn't see the basis for a beef. Bay seemed to take exception and made his own statement in which he referred to the many actors he'd "made" over the years, like Will Smith. Then he went on to hint that he was sad Fox didn't have what it took to be one of them. People were waiting for the inevitable Fox fall out, in which her character would wind up as the Bride of Megatron in the next Transformers. Bay went on to reassure everyone that Ms. Sexy would be in the 3rd Transformers movie, on his website. Then came the announcement that Fox was out. Bay made some references to alarming weight lose. Everyone thought that was a cover story. No one was surprised.

Fall of Fox

What is surprising is that there may be some truth to the alarming weight loss stories. Fox did drop serious weight for Jennifer's Body. Some say that she went as low as 97 pounds. There were also some stories that she was beginning to lose her hair. In fact there were rumors going around that big ugly bald spots were starting to show through Fox's hair extensions. Now there are a lot of explanations for a hot young actresses losing weight and hair unexpectedly: like stress, overwork, and an eating disorder. Then there's the obvious explanation.

be your own starwhacker

Now Fox has never kept her drug use a secret. She's a public marijuana supporter. However pot doesn't make your hair fall out. So rumors begin swirling around that Ms. Meggers was getting her pretty surgically tweaked snoot into something harder. Now these stories make the rounds in Follywood about young actresses, especially when their hair and teeth start dropping out, and they begin rubbing on the fake bake to cover their sickly pallor ("Do you think that I'd get plastic surgery to look this bad at my age unless I had to?!"). Usually it gets dismissed - as it was with Mischa Barton, even though she was routinely showing up for assignments and interviews stoned out of her gourd (and which was reported on this very blog a month or so before her 5150 wisdom tooth freak out) - until there's more than sizzle behind the smoke. This time there appears to be some beef to the stories and the confirmation comes by way of Laineygossip.

boozers, users, and beautiful losers

Back in March 2009 Lainey covered a Fox/BAG related story that she called Toxic tweaky love. Besides implying that Fox was doing it with Robert Pattison, it covered an event that happened while BAG & Foxy were down in Santa Monica. Seems that the two had a knock down drag out fight which was so bad that neighbors called the cops on 'em. Not for the first time either. Apparently screaming matches are the norm for them, and the cops get flagged in by bystanders on a regular basis.

"please don't sue me, Tweaky" - pussy footing around Foxy

Lainey also goes on to report that the pair are usually horrible to each other and to anyone with the misfortune to be near by. They also both get violent. What's worse Lainey goes on to report that the pair are rail thin and have 'food issues'. A small salad is about as much as anyone has seen either of them choke down(They usually share the salad). Plus BAG is "rail thin". Lainey doesn't pussy foot through the whole article though. Towards the end she comes right to the point. She says that the pair have been observed 'allegedly tweaking' ("allegedly" is blogspeak for "please don't sue me" - "tweaky" is streetspeak for freaked out on meth). Now folks don't tweak on pot. That's more of a crack/crystal meth sort of thing. So is weight loss & baldness.

"I'm totally psyched about this bar code tattoo!" - Hollywood Supergirls in celebrity bondage

So this would explain the Fall of Megan Fox. Naturally everyone assumed that her career dried up for the usual reasons: big mouth, no talent, and looks already fucked up with too much plastic surgery. That's a good theory except that it doesn't explain every other working actress in Follywood struggling with similar issues (Thank God for Anne Hathaway - the AntiMegan. Her only weakness is Follywood sleazoids!). If they booted out every lunatic in Follywood then the Quaids would be on an asylum waiting list in Vancouver, and directors would be so hard up for warm bodies to stick in flicks that they'd be casting Kenneth Branagh in love scenes with Sir Ben Kinglsey.

crack is whack

So there had to be more to the story behind Fox's Fall then a great big mouth going off unexpectedly like some kind of loose cannon. Sadly the drug story sounds like it has a ring of truth to it. If Meggers has taken to the crack, or worse - Whiteny Houston style, then her Follywood patrons may have fucked off and abandoned her distanced themselves from her. For one thing she'd have made herself unreliable (too consistent to be reliable, which is the worst kind of unreliable!). For another no one wants to be involved in her career when she goes off like a time bomb that thing comes to a head - remember Heath Ledger. It also adds some serious significance to Michael Bay's comments about cutting Fox loose over an alarming weight loss.

tweak your life script baby

Now Fox may be a bitch not be the most likable gal in the business (though her shoot from the lip routine does have a certain charm). It would still be a shame if this were true. Though Foxy might be short on talent she does have an undeniable screen presence and charisma. So she has something to offer.That being said we can only hope that if the rumors are true then Foxy takes it upon herself to get it together and get her career back. Marylin Munroe might make a cool tattoo but she's a lousy role model. Follywood casualty is also a crummy script to base your life on! Besides no one, not even Megan, deserves to play out their career Lindsay Lohan style in celebrity TV rehab!