Wondertrash®

Scandal Saturday

2012-01-28T10:52:00.012-04:00

Who let the Dogg out?

Snoop Dogg is not only out but on the grass (allegedly) in this recent youtube video (there was a little too much to be said to fit into Tweet form) where he had some wise words on the recent Kim Kardashian fiasco. Now play close attention cause you never know when this is gonna come in handy - especially if you start datin' one of those reality TV stars.

He's only sayin' what everyone is thinkin', right?

"Cold blooded bitch" is a bit harsh. "A bit harsh" doesn't make it untrue. Interestingly 'Kim Kardashian' anagrams to 'I am a kind shark'. With the hate fest in full swing it looks like that shark's goose is cooked, that is unless she can find an inventive way of cashing in on all that ill will - & where there's a will there's away. Maybe she could appear publicly in a pillory and charge passerby's to toss rotten fruit and vegetables at her. That is a basic motivation behind much reality type TV, which is really hi tech bear baiting minus the cruelty to animals!

Spice Girl

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

When we last left Demi Moore she had been carted off to the emergency ward for something called whip its. Doing whip its is basically inhaling nitrous oxide to get high. People thought that this was a bit much because whip its are usually something that young people do; and Demi was expected to have the age, income, and sophistication to do better.

Then the 911 tape came out. That featured a 'friend' - and it's always good to have a few in Hollywood just in case you start to code blue or something, some one who's on the payroll but not in the will so they have an incentive to keep you breathing - saying that Demi took a bad turn after smoking something that wasn't pot.

Current rumor is that it might have been Spice. Now Spice is a kind of herbal blend marketed as a legal marijuana substitute. Many forms are so mild that you can't even get a decent buzz out of it. Others are sprayed with a toxic blend of designers chemicals that can leave you running to the toilet or on the way to the emergency ward fairly quickly!

Seal and Heidi are still in a crisis

With Demi Moore's recent freak out and Fran Drescher's UFO abduction - she was chipped! - Seal and Heidi Klum's impending whatever nearly got lost in the shuffle. People were shocked at first because they always had made a big deal out of being so happy. Then people became quickly distracted. Part of the reason that folk may have got distracted was because it was no one was exactly sure what was happening. No one knew whether they were divorcing, taking a break, or reconciling.

Well here's what we do know so far. Hedi initiated the split. Also the pair have a prenup. that comes in handy since Klum earned a healthy $70 mill. She's got a few irons in the fire like a jewelry line and her Lifetime reality TV shows. Meanwhile Seal has a relatively paltry $15 mill.

Now it didn't always used to be that way. When the got together back in 2005 the financial situation was more even. Klum was also knocked up and on the rebound from that Italian billionaire race car driver who dropped her like stale sour kraut.

Heidi's had huge success since then. As said Heidi's also the one who hired the lawyers. It's kind of a truism that most relationships bust up over money. When one partner is worth about 5 times the other it could be a strain.

Then again as Heidi points out Seal does have a temper. She can't give any specific examples of his temper problem - you know the kind of things that might frighten a woman like punching holes in walls, breaking things, or making threats - those mere trifling details that give people a clearer picture of what's going on; even though she seems to feel pretty free in talking about the split up. He does have this Leica camera collection that he's pretty fussy & picky about - oooh that monster!

don't pay attention - play attention with Wondertrash!

So remember to keep reading Wondertrash and play attention cause like advice from the Snoop Dogg, you never know when it might come in handy!

Bogus zen: “People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to”

—	Malcolm Muggeridge

911 tape:Demi Moore 'smoked something' before convulsions

2012-01-27T17:52:00.003-04:00

Demi Moore has had some wild adventures recently but their nothing compared to Fran the Nanny Drescher. Many of you will know her as the gal from TV with the annoying voice and the Lucille Ball humour and good looks. Well there's a lot more to her than that. In addition to being a talented comedienne she's also out of this world - literally.

Once there was a girl from Flushing Queens;
then aliens snatched her up with transporter beams.

You see not long ago and in a galaxy near you Fran was abducted by aliens; and so was her husband Peter Marc Jacobson, in a separate incident. According to Fran, and "in all seriousness":

"You know, it's funny, because Peter and I both saw (aliens) before we knew each other, doing the same thing, driving on the road with our dads," Drescher said, "in all seriousness."

"We were both in junior high. A few years later, we met, and we realized that we had the same experience. I think that somehow we were programmed to meet," Drescher says. "We both have this scar. It's the exact same scar on the exact same spot."

"I said to him, that's what the aliens programmed us to think. But really, that's where the chip is."

Who would've guessed that the girl we described,
must've stopped taking what her doctor prescribed?

This is not only the kind of story that the National Enquirer used to dream about, but the first hi profile celebrity alien abduction since Anne Heche was Celestia! If you'll recall Annie's space trip began innocently with automatic writing and ended in public nudity and a visit from the police! As for Fran's, her PR rep is still at a loss for words, and probably working on a letter of resignation!

Robert Hegyes RIP

2012-01-27T12:22:00.009-04:00

70's sit com heaven - Those were the days

What would Welcome Back Kotter have been without Robert Hegyes? That's like asking what the 70's would have been without Donnie & Marie. Now to bring the worlds together!

Of course there was more to 70's pop culture than Donnie & Marie. There were also game show appearances! Here's Robert Hegyes on the 25 000 Pyramid, with legend Dick Clark and Francesca Roberts. Of course this was in 1988 in his Cagney & Lacey days.

Then there was the Battle of the Network Stars, with Howard Cosell, and Lynda Carter! So treat yourself to this climactic Tug-of-War featuring Hal Linden, Gabe Kaplan, Telly Savalas, Penny Marshall, Pat Harrington, Adrienne Barbeau, MacKenzie Phillips, Kevin Dobson from November 1976. So basically every major TV talent in the 70's was in on this with the exception of The Bionic Woman, Little Girl, and Lamont Sanford.

Thanks for the memories.

Those were Happy Days! Thank God we still have Arnold Horshack!

Demi Moore was on Adderall

2012-01-26T18:40:00.007-04:00

Update on Demi Moore:

when a problem comes along you must whip it; when something's going wrong you must whip it

Demi Moore recently got herself hospitalize after having a whip it induced seizure. A friend became concerned when Moore started losing consciousness and having convulsions after inhaling nitrous oxide - known as whip its, and so phoned for the ambulance. That lead to the announcement that Demi is taking time off to sort out her problems. Well it turns out that whip its weren't her only problem.

Seems that Demi has been struggling ever since her split up with Ashton Kutcher. She's been losing an alarming amount of weight and that sparked some anorexia talk. It turns out things may have been a little worse than garden variety anorexia. Seems that Moore had been reinforcing her extreme diet with Adderall.

According to Radaronline Moore was not only starving herself but keeping herself jacked up on Adderall and energy drinks. A source told Radar:

“The pills and starvation destroyed Demi and this has been a problem for about a year,” the source said about her tragic situation.

“She’s constantly jacked up on Adderall and combining that with not eating accounts for her loopy behavior and anorexic body frame. She literally refuses to eat any food.”

Demi Moore isn't the only one with some substance abuse issues. In a recent ESPN2 interview no less a person than Pat Sajack admitted to getting a little out of control from time to time. Pat is the host of long running TV game show mainstay Wheel of Fortune. According to Pat he and letter turner Vanna White would sometimes make their way to a nearby restaurant, during taping breaks, and down a bunch of margaritas. How many? According to Pat it could have been 2 or 3 or 6. Now is he sounds like he lost count it's only cause it's hard to stay focused after a certain point. In fact Pat says that at times he had difficulty recognizing the alphabet. For those worried that TV's favorite games show's wholesome image could get tarnished and that the Wheel could be swinging it's way into rehab - fear not. Pat says that he's not into drinking on the job these days.

Pat ain't the only game show host who liked to get loose during work. Alex Trebek seemed to enjoy a little refreshment no and then himself - according to the following video. He had a hell of a mouth on him too. Unlike Pat Alex didn't have to leave to get loose. Apparently he sometimes kept a can right under his podium.

It's beginning to look like the Merv Griffith entertainment empire had almost as many problems as Disney Inc!

Angel Sighting: Adrianna Lima

picture courtesy of Hollywood Rag

BTW Demi Moore isn't the only one with Whip It trouble. According to the Mailonline Prince Harry Ginger has been known to enjoy the substance characterized in Great Britain as "hippy crack" The Mail reports that Harry was at a London party as recently as last Friday past. Harry was surrounded by leggy young women and having a blast until about 5 AM. He was also spotted repeated inhaling from a nitro filled balloon and laughing hysterically.

Apparently a big part of the appeal of Nitro is that it produces a 'heavenly', though brief, euphoria. That's because it releases opiate like substance - probably some kind of endorphin - into the brain. It's also cheap - about 5 bucks a hit. It's also legal, so you can't get in too much trouble. The down side is that it has a number of potential side effects - like such as chronic depression, brain lesions, bone marrow illnesses and death. Not to mention seizures and tabloid headlines!

Why do celebs do it? Well for one thing illegal drugs might be too much of a career risk. If a celeb gets busted for drugs then their studio masters might intervene. The celeb might be offered the choice of rehab or unemployment. So unless you're willing to give up control of your life you could be hounded out of the business until you're more cooperative. Just like Lindsay Lohan. Legal highs leave you on the right side of the line. If you've got a bottle full of pills then no one can say much, especially if a doctor prescribed them. On the down side you could wind up deader than Any Winehouse.

So until the powers that be are ready to legalize marijuana, the young and young at heart will have to use physically & mentally dangerous but legally cautious ways to get there: like nitrous oxide, and the prescription drugs that have carried off so many celebrities. Pill popping has done in everyone from Elvis to Marylin Munroe to Michael Jackson to Heath Ledger, and many times they'd been prescribed!

Demi Moore Hospitalized

2012-01-25T19:31:00.013-04:00

Demiconscious - was Ashton tired of a life of ~~tranny~~ tyranny and oppression?

may you live in interesting times - between rehab

Demi Moore has lead an interesting life. She was a major motion picture actress back in the 80's and 90's. Then she had a hi profile marriage to another major 80's and 90's personality, Bruce Willis. He's the guy who sold your parents on Seagram's Vodka Coolers with his cool Rat Packish charm. He and Demi were one of those power couples, like Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford, or later on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

truth or consequence - fake it or make it: if Burton and Taylor couldn't do it then what chance did the real Anthony & Cleopatra have?

As much as everyone talks about soul mates, finding your significant other and completing that power circuit doesn't make everything fall into your out stretched and eager hand. It didn't work out for Marc Anthony and Cleopatra; nor even Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez. That's to say nothing of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Even a cutesy combo moniker like Bennifer didn't save them. So eventually and for undisclosed reasons Bruce and Demi split up.

Too good to be true or too fast to last? Maybe just too naked to make it.

Demi went on to live a rich and full life. It was the style to which she was accustomed. She had after all appeared naked and pregnant (though not necessarily in that order) on the cover of Vanity Fair. So she was an unconventional ground breaker. Maybe that's why she pounced on Asthon Kutcher with the fury of a hungry cougar on the hunt. To the world's astonishment they got married. Meanwhile, as Asthon became MoD to her kids (that 'my other dad' and not 'ministry of defense', for our Brit readers), Bruce hung around smiling and supportive. They were often photographed together on vacation, at premiers, etc & etc, with a camaraderie that the Three Musketeers might have envied. If Bruce seemed like he was waiting in the wings then maybe he was asking himself what many others were thinking "How long can this thing last?"

2 1/2 men a re hard to find

It lasted longer than he might have expected, because eventually Bruce went off and got married. That's okay cause Demi still had Ashton. That's is until cracks started developing. Eventually, and at about the same time Ashton took over the lead in 2 1/2 Men, things came to ahead. it was announced that the couple were divorcing. Stories came out about open marriages - & to give them the benefit of the doubt maybe it was in the Newt Gingrich traditional family values GOP sense. Then the divorce talk began. Statements were made about unacceptable behavior. The kids announced that Ashton was no longer MoD. He had been demoted to 'good looking creep that broke mom's heart'.

more overhauls than the bionic woman

Now the people who had been asking "how long can this go on?" were asking "How is she gonna take it?" "Hard" seemed a pretty good guess. Demi had spent a ton on cosmetic surgery. As much as $600 000 by some accounts. Consensus seemed to be that this was an attempted to keep her much younger husband interested. There's no refund on plastic surgery (& no undo button either). So she might have invested too much of herself in this venture.

inside out and outside thin - looking bad thinking worse

Well people were about to get there answer. Demi started looking thin. People began talking eating disorder, and some were no doubt thinking "under stress". Some were probably thinking ~~drugs~~ worse. She gave magazine interviews in which she admitted to doubting her ability and worthiness to be loved. Then things really came to a head.

a gathering of superfriends

On Jan 11 Dems was out at an undisclosed spot living it up. She was surrounded by young celebs like Miley Cyrus, Pauly D (Jersey Shore) DelVecchio, and Brody Jenner. Only the presence of Kim Kardashian and a couple of Bachelorettes might've made that who's who complete! In spite of looking 'super skinny' among the young and sexy, Demi managed to get totally trashed and wound up dancing on tables. Or at least an eyewitness tells US Weekly! She also got kinda friendly with young Ryan Rottman, of 90210 fame. There was some shirt unbuttoning and chest tickling involved, according to People, but you're gonna have to hit that link to find out who unbuttoned and tickled whom.

the red pill or Red Bull?

On Jan 15 Demi accompanied her daughter Rumor out to Sean Penn's Cinema for Peace Event Benefiting J/P Haitian Relief Organization in L.A. Maybe Demi was feeling a little wild and girlish, but she downed about 12 Red Bulls. She seemed glad to be out and ready to unwind. She took numerous pix on her iPhone and was glad to see anyone approached her. This might have been a reaction to a night out on the 13th when she ran into Ashton. That was an awkward run in at a West Hollywood Golden Globes party in which they spent most of the evening avoiding each other. Naturally a gal might need to blow off steam after that. Unfortunately Demi didn't get it out of her system.

riding for a fail

If Dems was riding for a fall no one was coming right out and saying. Not until a couple of days ago at least. That's when TMZ broke the news that Moore had been hospitalized. According to TMZ paramedics were called about 10:45 to come and make an appearance. She was assessed for 30 mins and then transported to a local hospital. Some reports said that there was a substance abuse issue (usually in Hollywood 'substance abuse issue' means an issue about which substance is being abused). Demi's rep told TMZ

"Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends."

whip it!

The plot thickened. It was soon revealed that the ambulance got called after Moore had started doing whip its'. For those not among the beautiful people - and I pity you! - 'whip its' are nitrous oxide! People of Demi's age and income bracket don't usually do them, but Demi has been hangin' with a young fast crowd lately (remember when fentanyl lollipops were cool? That was a more innocent time). Apparently Demi had inhaled a dangerous amount and had a reaction. When she lapsed into semi consciousness a friend became concerned and called the ERT. According to some reports she even had the symptoms of a seizure!

Up-to-date, nihilist whiz hoaxes

Where does that leave Demi right now, besides 'hospitalized with exhaustion'? Moore was cast in the new Linda Lovelace biopic, as Gloria Steinem (not that being offered Gloria Steinem instead of the Linda Lovelace lead depressed Ms. Moore, but it couldn't have helped). She'll probably have to bow out of that (ooh - a part for Katherine Heigl!). She's got some issues to deal with before she can do movies. For one thing in addition to alleged substance abuse issues, the actress is also said to be dealing with anorexia. So it seems that Moore is on the road to rehab, if not recovery. At least there she may be able to get the treatment for issues including “exhaustion” she seems to need. After an intensely interesting life a rest can be as good as a change!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Halle Berry's Ex Investigated for Child Endangerment

2012-01-24T16:42:00.008-04:00

Beautiful people get pretty ugly

Once upon a time in Hollywood

Once upon a time in an enchanted kingdom called Hollywood a beautiful movie queen met a handsome prince and swept him off his feet. Everyone carried on like the pair were the king and queen of the prom. Then they had a kid together. Then things went sour and they went their separate ways. That's the part where the storyline diverges from Brangelina.

the couple in question

The couple in question were Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry. When they split up people were shocked but not too shocked. It's kind of the way people felt when Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher busted up. Halle and Gabby seemed to be handling the bust up well and even agreed on joint custody. Then Halle got a film job down in South Africa.

where's King Solomon when you need him?

Halle had to go away for 3 to 6 months and planned to take baby Nahla with her. Now Gabby wasn't having any of that. So he suggested that Halle leave the tot with him while she clued up her movie making. Halle wasn't any more pleased about leaving her daughter for 3 to 6 months than he was. So there was a stalemate.

father go farther

Now being mature reasonable people they managed to hit upon an ad hoc arrangement. Halle would take Nahla to South Africa and Gabby would come along for the ride. She'd pay him to be the child's care giver - kind of like a nanny - and they'd live under the same roof. In the event that living under the same roof became unbearable then Halle would rent a near by villa for Gabby. Nahla could stay there with her father during the day while Halle did her close ups. Perfectly sensible arrangement that only required large sums of money to pull off (It might have been even more reasonable if she'd rented the villa from the start, instead of waiting to see if things became unreasonable)!

this is gonna take a while, and Katherine Heigl, so you know it's getting nasty

So it seemed like our estranged super couple were working it out. Then some where along the way they fell out again. Just recently stories started surfacing about Halle and Gabby heading off to court for a flat out knock down drag out custody show down! Like I said, this has been building up for awhile.

On Jan 31 2011 - that's about 1 year ago if you're following the Halle Gabby timeline - People Mag reported that Halle was headed to court. Her objective was full custody of daughter Nahla. She was so serious that she dropped out of the lead in New Years Eve. That was good news for Katherine Heigl, who got to replace her. Halle was determined because in the words of her reps and lawyers -

"Halle has serious concerns for her daughter's well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her. She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter's father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention. Halle has always made the needs and safety of her daughter her first priority and, both while Halle and Gabriel were a couple and since their break-up, Halle has only acted in her daughter's best interest."

the cruelest month & Kim Kardashian included!

Now to you or I that might sound like the kind of half baked statement that comes out of the usual PR cookie cutter. However it preceded and interesting back and forth between Halle & Gabby. At 1st Gabby, by way of People Mag, claimed that the allegations were untrue & irresponsible. He claimed that he was being maigned, and tat he didn't wanted to be dragged into some dispute over one of Halle's films. Then D Listed & TMZ got in on the act. Basically the story that came out through those outlets was that Halle had issues. While she was dating Olivier Martinez, to whom she is now engaged, Aubry claimed that she was not over him. She was possessive & objected to him dating other people, and would even phone him up in a rage. Halle responded that Gabby was crazy and jealous. Needless to say Gabby was disappointed by Halle's response. Feb 2011 was a rough month for them. There was even a Kim Kardashian angle. Here's brief recap:

From People: Team Berry says that Halle got mad when Gabriel started dating amateur porn star and role model to our youth Kim Kardashian, because she didn't want a reality star in her daughter's life. Meaning Halle was afraid that the cameras that constantly follow Kim would catch her daughter and she'd end up on TV. Yes, because Nahla can sign her own releases. However, Team Aubry says that Nahla never laid eyes on the twin warthogs clinging to Kim's ass.
1 point for Team Aubry

From TMZ: One of Gabriel's ex-girlfriends has put a white cone on his head by saying that he's bi-racist and always used racial slurs against black people. Gabriel's ex, who dated him for 2 years, says he never beat her ass, but he treated women like shit.
2 points for Team Berry

From TMZ: Team Berry is going hard on this one. Sources close to Halle have added possible "child abuse allegations" to Gabriel's rap sheet by saying that Nahla always hysterically cries when he picks her up for visits. Halle constantly has a "something in the milk ain't clean" moment whenever she sees Nahla with Gabriel. Nahla seems scared of her own father and Halle thinks something wrong is going down. The child touching and/or child whoopin' seed has been planted.
1 point for Team Berry

From Radar: Because this whole disaster is the second coming of OctoSana & Mad Mel, Team Gabriel says he has recorded tapes of Halle RAGING at him in her crazy bitch voice. Team Gabriel says that since he's an upstanding moral man of integrity (served on a bed of lukewarm sarcasm noodles), he's not going to release the tapes to the media. Gabriel is saving them just in case shit gets really real REAL in their custody fight.
1 point for Team Aubry

From Radar: So much for that "no leaking" rule. Radar magically got a hold of an e-mail Halle allegedly sent to Gabriel during one of her jealous meltdowns. Halle's e-mail reads, "You were only good for one thing...Thanks for the donation." Hey, that's the same thank you note I get in the mail whenever I put a dollar in the tithing basket at my mom's Catholic church. Team Gabriel also adds that he did call Halle a "fucking bitch" when she "provoked" him, but he's never thrown a racial slur at her. In fact, Team Gabriel swears that he kept calm and quiet whenever she screamed at him on the phone.

history repeats it's self in current events 'here we go again' agony

Luckily they got through Feb and the rest of the year. There were a few minor court skirmishes but things carried on as if they were normal. That brings us to current events. 3 year old Nahla was visiting her father when things took an odd turn. Seems Nahla didn't want to go to school that day and Aubry let her off the hook. When nanny Alliance Kamdem showed up she wanted to know what the deal was and things got heated. Nanny claims that Aubry pushed, while she was holding Nahla. So naturally that lead to child endangerment charges.

Nanny Alliance

It lead Halle, with her nanny, back to court. She's asked a judge for a restraining order. The order is to prohibit Aubry from any contact with Nanny Kamden until the child endangerment issue is resolved. That could be tough to resolve since nanny Kamden is making allegations about Aubry yelling and screaming and Nahla, which causes her to cower in fear. Kamden also claims Aubry makes young Nahla sit in a corner in his condo. To that end the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services is also conducting a child endangerment investigation. Kamden claims she fears retaliation from Aubry.

"insufficient and speculative" - just like a blog!

As of now the restraining order is out. The judge called the petition "insufficient and speculative." One further development, Kamden has quit her hi profile nanny job with Berry.

“The thing that attracts people to “The Sopranos” is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing.” Christine O'Donnell

photo from the skull cave

Miranda Kerr as Wonder Woman on Grazia Magazine

2012-01-24T00:57:00.005-04:00

I think you're gonna love this, Miranda Kerr as Wonder Woman! - cause those satin tights are the down undies you like!

Now here's Miranda in a short video to explain how she got herself into this super heroine-ish predicament!

In other news Seal fills Ellen DeGeneres in on the Heidi Klum situation.

Lovey dopey

2012-01-23T13:50:00.008-04:00

Weekend whispers had celebrity couple Seal and Heidi Klum going their separate ways. Apparently recent ski trip to Aspen wasn't as lovey dovey as might have been hoped. Some sources said that there was screaming and fighting, and described the couple as having hit a rough patch. By Sunday there were more rumours that the split might not be official, and even only a short break. The couple were under the same roof at that time.

Now it's official. Heidi Klum has released the following statement:

"While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.

"We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.

"We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children's sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy."

No one is coming right out and saying what busted them up; scuttlebutt makes Seal out as a hard partier with a temper. Who knows, that might just be divorce talk. Divorce talk is advance spin in anticipation of a showdown or in other words "the blame game".

Just because Heidi and Seal are splitsville now doesn't mean things can't work out. Take Chris Brown and Rihanna for instance. They had a bad bust up. By bad I mean there were pictures, particularly that one of Rihanna's battered and bruised face. People ever thought that they would ever get back together again, what with Chris being an in human monster and everything.

However sometimes these things are a little more complicated than we like to believe. According to the Superficial they are back together again. Back together means in the same place at the same time. The place was Greystone Manor in West Hollywood. Both came and went separately: Rihanna in her car and Chris in his with his current girlfriend. However there have been rumours of them secretly hooking up for about a year. Then there's the Twitter evidence. If Riri has pulled this kind of shit then it might be bye bye for her career, cause the public might want a refund on the support.

That's one confirmed bust up and one alleged reunion so far. Simon Cowell evens the scrore. Simon was hanging around with some broad recently named Mezghan Husseiny. They even made their arrange legit by way of an engagement. That engagement is now off.

Cowell met Hussenity - a make up artist - back in 2010. He blurted out that she was "the one" on a talk show. Cowell later regreted the statement, and said

"I have been pretty good about not talking about my private stuff, but I got caught up in the moment," he said of his declaration of marriage-mindedness. "I don't really know where I am at the moment, and that is why I don't talk about it."

Cowell also hints that the relationship might not be completely over -

"It is quite a complicated relationship," he told the Daily Mail. "We have had a break from each other, and we are still incredible close.It's not on, it's not off, it's somewhere in the middle. I don't know if I will ever get married, but I am happy."

Someone else who has complicated relationships is Kim Kardashian. Kim is most definitely not happy though. That's odd because she reportedly bagged about 20 mill in various payoffs for her 72 day marriage. The late great Anna Nicole Smith would've been doing cartwheels over a deal like that. In Kimmy's case her inner emotional turmoil may have something to do with everyone hating her. They cynical public things that Kim's marriage may have been some kind of money making publicity scheme! When did America lose faith in their entertainers?

Anyway Kim Possible felt the need t set the record straight in some weepy recent co hosting gig with Kelly Ripa. She claims that she never dreamed that she could get herself into so much shit just by following her heart. In fact she said " 'I really didn't think following my heart would create this much backlash.'She insisted she 'tried everything' to make the relationship work, adding: 'I want that forever love, and if I feel in my heart this isn't right, then why wait years to have the same results?' She then went on to talk in terms of "rewriting my fairytale". I don't think insulting people's intelligence is gonna help her cause any.

Kim was lucky to get that co hosting gig. She'd probably love to make it permanent because she could use every break that she can get. However don't worry about her - Kardashians always come through. Why I hear that Team Special K are working on several fall back plan B's to ressurect their group image right now. They're coming up with great stuff too like launching Khloe up in a home made weather balloon from their back yard, and then posting video of panicky Kardashians calling 911 to youtube. If that doesn't work Kim does know a nice doctor, one who can shoot her more of more embryos than Octomom ever dreamed of! Now here's that Kelly meets Kimmy video!

BTW the Kelly Ripa thing wasn't the one where Kimmy actually allegedly broke down. That was the interview in which she did on Kourtney and Kim Take New York.

So the moral of the story seems to be that romance can be a challenge even when you got looks and a whole lot of money, and maybe even more of a challenge with the rest of the world watching. Don't give up hope, there are still wonders to behold!

Heather Mills hairy lawsuit

2012-01-22T12:39:00.010-04:00

1st the real news. Some of you know that there is a big Republican primary race going on. If you've been following then you know that it's working out something like this:

Just don't start referring to the Republican Primary Race as the WKRP Turkey Drop. They can get mad when they've been crossed and I don't want it getting back to them that you picked it up here! Now on to the rest of the shit that's fit to print!

It was Sir Paul McCartney who showed the world how annoying Heather Mills was, by marrying the woman. Since then she went on to wage a hi profile war of environmentalism, engage in a nasty divorce with Sir Paul, and blow up a neighbor's dog with fire works - allegedly. The neighbor swears that it was some big to do at the Mills residence that lead to her dog's demise. Mills was setting off fire works and a stray one hit the dog and detonated. Mills says that she had nothing to do with the dog's explosion. So perhaps it was natural causes, like spontaneous canine combustion - you know how it is, sometimes a bitch is volatile!

That brings us to Heather Mills latest incident. Heather is a gal who likes to look her very best. Image can be important when you spend much of your life ticking people off. With that in mind Mills likes to keep herself groomed for success. So she used to patronize Brit stylist David Paul. Now Mills was divorcing at the time so didn't have a lot of cash on hand. Since she was divorcing without a pre nup it seemed safe to assume that she'd be totally good for it. So Dave went ahead on her head.

That was between 2005 2007 and Paul still ain't been paid. That's rough cause Paul charges about $5000 a day for his coveted services. So you could understand Heather not paying when she was short on cash. However Heather ain't short lately. That's cause she got a windfall $US38.9 million from her McCartney divorce. So she's in a position to make good on her debts. That's why Daivd Paul is taking her to Los Angeles County Superior Court for the 80 000 he says she owes for his services rendered.

It's easy to be hard on Heather, because no one likes her. However there's a very good reason for a woman in her position do drop a wad on her hair. To find out what that reason is head straight over to thecelebrityviplounge!

From now on Mills gotta avoid any guy with the name Paul cause it's just leads to negative publicity!

In other news Heidi Klum and Seal may not be divorcing. Sources say that the couple are in a rough patch. On a recent trip to Aspen there was a lot of screaming and yelling. Then there was a lot of talk about bailing out. Now reports have them back under the same roof and trying to work things out. They do have 4 kids so let's hope that can get it together.

Speaking of bust ups that may not be happening Star Magazine is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of a bust up. According to Star the pair are sick and tired of fighting over every detail of their lives together. Plus they barely spoke over the Christmas season. Also according to Star Jolie is upset of rumors of Brad's child with another woman. Considering half of her kids with him are by other women you'd think that Jolie would be more cosmopolitan about it.

The Star then goes on to point out that Brad and Ange are really different people with Angie as a worldly type who get's threatened by open relationships and Brad as a homebody that wants to retire and take care of the kids. Star goes on to point out that the split may not be permanent but one of those "breaks". Now that's hedging your bets in case it doesn't happen!

Finally Joe Paterno has died. He was perhaps the greatest college football coach ever, but went out on a low note when he got caught in the middle of a sex abuse case. Paterno was 85 a died of lung cancer.

Now for a Wondertrash motivational poster!

So you were expecting Capt. Kirk on the Love Boat? ... because the only difference between Capt. Steuben and Col. Klink is a war and bad publicity! I guess he can't blame this one on Gilligan again!

Coming soon from the National Enquirer

2012-01-21T20:27:00.005-04:00

Khloe Kardashian - who's your daddy?

Hopefully not O J Simpson!

Just when you thought that the whole sordid Kardashian saga couldn't get any lower - O J Simpson gets in on the act. According to the NE anyway. OJ's a bad bad man and I hear he's even considering voting for Newt Gingrich should the Gingster get the official Repub nom.

The Enquirer has a few other stories in the works and here's a run down:

After a week in which she's been under constant attack by her critics, cooking queen Paula Deen is facing a new bombshell - a top doctor says she has only THREE YEARS to live.
In a special divorce shockers report, Enquirer reveals the different marriage troubles that Lisa Marie Presley, John Travolta and Marie Osmond are facing and whether their marriages can be saved.
Former "View" host Star Jones is piling on the pounds after suffering a shocking emotional blow, the ENQUIRER reveals exclusively. Candid new photos show Star at least 30lbs heavier and Enquirer tells why she's pigging out on 5,000 calories a day.

Meanwhile the entertainment media is still aghast over news of Seal & Heidi Klum's unexpected break up. They always seemed so happy if their frequent re commitment ceremonies were any indication. Now in retrospect that does come off as anxious and compulsive. Perhaps it was only a cover for those irreconcilable differences Klum is expected to site as grounds for the split up. So far the story has Klum as the one filing against Seal. Now here's TheGayBill's take on the sad news:

We know two things from the above video: Bill is gay, and he's viewed some interesting porn. As two why Seal and Klum are calling it quits, we'll have to hang on. Maybe Seal gifted Klum with one of those Justin Theroux handbags for Christmas - like the one that set Jennifer Aniston off, allegedly. Never use accessories to do jewelry's job!

More facts will probably emerge next week when Klum files and both sides prepare for a show down.

Etta James: 'I Wanted to Be Noticed'

2012-01-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Kartrashian

2012-01-20T16:12:00.005-04:00

You only get out of something what you put into it - unless you're crooked. Then you can get much much more. Take charity for instance. When a celeb donates time and money to a good case usually the cause gets the cash and some PR. Meanwhile the celebs get to heighten their profiles and maybe even get to feel justifiably good about themselves. Depending on where the line is drawn. Sometimes a celeb might get much much more out of it. Take celebrity auctions for instance.

Everyone assumes that these things run on the all proceeds to charity principle, and sometimes they do. In the case of stars like Charlie Sheen, U2's the Edge, Steven Tyler and even Miley Cyrus and Sienna Miller that's exactly what happens. Every cent gets handed over to charity. In the case of EBay's Givingworks only 10% of the proceeds have to be donated to a good cause to qualify. So what happens to the rest? Well the charitable do gooder can keep that in their own pocket if they like! You've heard about that 90% administration costs so consider this robbing the rich to give to the poor while taking a huge cut for expenses! Except this might be more like the rich and famous robbing the middle class! So let that be a lesson to potential do gooders - if you're only gonna give ten percent then make sure it's the top ten percent, you're your intentions might get called into question!

So why should anyone care? Well the gal of the hour Kim Kardashian has apparently been a Givingworks participant for years! Giving is close to Kim's heart, which is why she recently went to Haiti with Oprah & Sean Penn. It was just after the bust up of her 72 day marriage so give her some credit - most of us would be wallowing in self pity! Having a marriage fall apart that fast has gotta hurt no matter how much you made on the deal, and especially when people act like they some how blame you for something. So getting out there among the little people can help take your mind of things.

Kim goes a courting

It also helps your rep. Kim big on that. When Old Navy hired a Kim-a-like, Kardashian took them to court. She demanded 20 mill in damages claiming to her reputation. With that in mind ON launched a sort of investigation. For one thing if it was alleged that they'd damaged Kimbo's rep, then exactly how much rep was there to be damaged in the first place?

Old Navy's parent corp is The GAP. Their lawyer Louis Petrich has concocted a plan to try and determine the true worth of Kardashian's rep. One of the things that he may be looking over is a scathing review by the New York Times regarding Kim's Manhattan pop up store. I think that got called a fashion desert or something.

The idea may have something to do with the principle of being libel proof. Now that's not anything like being bullet proof but the opposite. You see when a person is considered libel proof the idea is that their rep is already so low that it would be impossible to damage it any further. Just like Richard Nixon after Watergate! Whatever that GAP is cookin' up rumor has it that Reggie Bush is gonna be called to the witness stand. Bush may have started dating Melissa Molinaro - the Kim look alike in the advertisement.

Jennifer Aniston dumped again

2012-01-19T20:40:00.007-04:00

If you've passed by a supermarket in the past 6 hours then yu couldn't help noticing the cover of Intouch. According to IT Jenn has been dumped yet again and this time by her most recent cos tar and alleged romantic type partner Justin Theroux. Now mosto f the web sites are calling this eon bogus and pointing out that the couple just went out on some weekend together. Intouch says different.

According to Intouch there was a huge bust up back in December. What set it off was Jenn's expectation that Trusty Justy was gonna surprise her with a ring over the holidays. When that didn't happen Aniston went ballistic. To read IT's story Aniston became hurt and humiliated, then disappointed, and finally furious. Like any A List Hollywood actress she's known for her range! Fury lead to a major fight that dragged on for days. Finally Justin 'exploded". We assume not literally since he 'stormed out' a little later in the article. Anyway that left Jen nursing a broken heart again with shattered dreams of marriage and children.

Now all the other blogs and web sites are calling bull shit on this. However earsucker did report that Jen has recently gone out and adopted another dog. Not like searching for a new best friend would be any kind of indication of recent personal relationship set backs or anything. We can only hope that the dog doesn't run away!

On a related note Jennifer Aniston's long time nemesis Angelina Jolie has found a new girl to hate - and one more worth of her contempt. The gal in question is Stacey Keibler and she's George Clooney's new broad. Now dating Clooney ain't what Jolie has against the broad - though tensions between Angie and George have been commented on from time to time. What Jolie is irked over is Keibler's wanton and reckless use of celebrity medium Twitter.

Now anyone can sympathize with that. Angie is a woman of intelligence and sensitivity, while most celebs make far too free with the Tweet. However Angie's something more up her nose than principle - because it's personal. See Stace got on the Tweet, just as she and George were starting out, and commented about how cute Brad Pitt looked. In fact she said he'd be a treat to look at every day!

Vangie decided that was the wrong thing to say so she warned Brad off of the girl. Not in so many words but that she didn't thing they should be socializing with the likes of her. So now some wags are speculating about what kind of pressure this could put on Brad's relationship with Clooney. Probably not much since George goes through gals. The last one was that Italian chick who got mixed up in a drugs and 'escort' scandal. So she had to go but was awarded the consolation prize of a trip to Dancing With the Stars!

There's more to celebrity gossip than feuds and betrayals. There are also wild conspiracy theories. One that folk never ever seem to tire of is Princess Diana, and specifically what it was that really happened to her. Evr since Diana married Prince Charles when she was only 19, she had been the most famous woman on the planet. She retained her massive celebrity factor even after she and Chucky split up - apparently her idea. She wanted to be more fufuilled as a modern young woman living in the Age of Oprah and some tin foil hat wearing cynics out there figure that the Royal Family was far too mired into the past to ever get that. Why the Queen probably has never seen the Oprah show.

The tin foil hat brigade figure that the Royals, through their MI5 minions and possibly with the help of James Bond, had Diana bumped off. There are numerous theories as to how they accomplished this ranging from magnets hiden in the support beams of the Paris under pass she died in to midgets jumping out of the dashboard and ambushing the car's passengers who had been first incapacitated with a release of aerosol spray LSD! The one thing no one seems to hung up on was the limo driver being wasted on booze and antidepressants - but why get hung up on details?

Speaking of which here's a video delving deeper into the Diana Conspiracy.

Some interesting trivia on Diana - the tunnel she died in was one the site of pagan human sacrifice dedicated to the Goddess Diana. Diana's car hit the fatal 13th pillar of the tunnel. Princess Diana also spells "Ascend in Paris"

Katherine Heigl Comes Crawling Back

2012-01-19T17:04:00.003-04:00

remember how they say - "careful on the way up"?

Katherine Heigl left Grey's Anatomy back in 2010 - to focus on her family. Back then she had a career to focus on too, and quite a little attitude. When she was nominated for an Emmy back in 2007 she choose to take her name out of the running. She said she just didn't think the writing was up to snuff. That was not only a great way to show appreciation for the staff that labored tirelessly on the scripts - it also made her come off pompous without even having to make an acceptance speech! Maybe those 17 hour work days she bitched about on Letterman left her crabby.

Now Katherine might have been getting unpopular with fans and even her GA bosses, but there were still some people in Hollywood who figured that it was a good idea to stick her in romcoms. That is right up until the final parting of the ways with GA back in 2010. Her career cooled off a little after that. Now Kate has had a change of heart. She recently told E that she has reached out to GA because she wants to come back home.

"I’ve told them I want to [return]. I really, really, really want to see where [Izzie] is. I just want to know what happened to her and where she went and what she’s doing now. My idea is that she actually like figures it out, and finds some success and does really well in a different hospital. She was always floundering you know, and so she was always one step behind the eight ball and I want to see that girl take some power back.”

There's more than script closure motivating her. She also has a new movie coming out. It's based on a Janet Evanovich novel and is called One For The Money. So channeling the ghost of Dr Izzie Stevens might come in handy. It was the one thing that she was really successful at - until she screwed it up. Besides if George Clooney can come back to ER then maybe she can take one more stab at being the next Clooney this way. Of course it might not be the same thing. Big George only did that out of - you know - class.

Chris and Rihanna Round 3

2012-01-19T13:42:00.002-04:00

Michael C Hall and Jennifer Carpenter aren't the only ex's getting back together if recent stories are to be believed. A little while ago stories started surfacing that Rihanna was back with Chris Brown, or at least she was tweeting about being back with Chris Brown. She posted something to the effect of "how can you lie with her when you just lay with me?" Now while some thought that was just the sort of thing a girl might do when she's feeling spiteful and wants to stir up trouble others took it seriously. So that had em asking "Is she back with brown now?" and more importantly "WTF is wrong with her?" Well some people who've taken it upon themselves to speak up, and t, on Brown's behalf have and answer "Rihanna's nuts!.

Now they didn't come right out and say she's hearing voices or anything. It was put much more low key - like a borderline personality disorder. According to the Inquistr Rihanna is a real handful. For one thing she's highly insecure and jealous - so she often lashes out violently at the men in her life in an attempt to make herself feel more desirable! Some girls would use clothes and make up to accomplish that but don't ask for the logic behind that since emotions have nothing to do with logic.

Anyhow Rihanna would get frequently worked up, according to source, and then start biting, scratching, slapping, whatever it took, and even once whacked Chris hard in the balls. Since Chris usually didn't fight back Riri got the idea that it must be okay or something. So she kept it up. It's not like she never did such things before v- according to the article she once attacked her brother with a broken bottle.

Now Inquistr quotes from MediaTakeOut and here are the highlights of their article:

Rihanna having a long history of violence, including attacking her brother with a broken bottle
That Rihanna regularly beat Brown, and that Brown being beaten by Rihanna caused a car crash resulting in most of Rihanna’s injuries
[Rihanna is] outrageously jealous and insecure. So [Chris] would get into arguments and fights with her. He never hit her once but she’d [allegedly] smack him, bite him and scratch him and once he even got hit in the balls kinda’ hard. So [she] got into the habit of hitting him because to her it was fine since he never hit her back.
[On Saturday night, Chris] finally told her to shut the f*ck up and it’s over. So she socked the shit out of him while he was driving and kept on hitting him until he crashed into a parked car.
[Chris] then got out of the car and tried to pull her out and got hit in the face some more numerous times. Scratched up and everything.
Simply because he was done with all of the drama. Anyway when she smacked him this last time he smacked her back. So he [left Rihanna there alone].
Hurt from banging her face on the windshield/dashboard from the car accident [somebody] then called the cops and [Rihanna] told them that [Chris] whipped her ass.
Suggestions that Rihanna isn’t fully co-operating with the police because she won’t tell them what the argument was about leading up to the incident. Notably, the story headline reads “what does she have to hide.”

Well wasn't that something. After the Chris and Rihanna relationship 1st went ballistic Riri cleaned up with a lot of public support. Her career was never stronger. If any of these new allegations can be proven then it kind casts doubt on her innocent victim status by making the relationship more complicated and ambiguous than bystanders assumed. Which might be a shame for Rihanna's career. If only this hadn't come out until after SOPA had passed (when that thing gets done celebs everywhere will be heaving sighs of relieve).

SOPA

2012-01-19T11:44:00.005-04:00

Update on Heather Locklear

Now that the public service announcement is out of the way let's get on to a special update on Heather Locklear. AS you'll recall Heather went off the rail recently, and under the wagon. She'd been fighting and on and off battle with booze for years. No one knew until Charlie Sheen ex Denise Richards made a play for her then husband Richie Sambora. That's when Heather's problem became public.

Denise and Richie were rumoured to be back together again so according to some theories that set Locklear off. However it has now come to light that she had a really bad bust up with her former fiancee Jack Wagner. Wagner starred on Melrose Place with Locklear and it looked the pair were getting ready to settle in for the long haul together. Then sudden they busted up.

That bust up was worse than former reported. In fact it was bad enough for the cops to get called - back in December. Seems that there was some incident between Locklear and Wagner, at Wagner's residence. The police put in an appearance to make sure that everyone played nice and that's when the party got funky. Seems Heather 'went off' on Wagner, and Wagner 'retaliated'. So they both got charged with criminal battery! They'll be appearing in court later this month, while the LA DA decides whether this is worth pursuing!

Lauren Scruggs recovering

Lauren Scruggs is a fashion blogger and cast member on Gossip Girl. She recently had a tragic accident - she walked in the propeller of a small private plane she had been traveling in. She losdt her left hand and the use of her left eye. There were also some extensive facial injuries, that got patched

There were some real concerns about Scruggs' recvoery - especially when head injuries re involved. Any way she's up and walking around again, as the following 1st exclusive pic from TMZ shows.

Now the fact that Lauren walked into a moving propeller had some people asking questions, like "Isn't the pilot supposed to kill the engines before he lets the passenger out", or at least instruct the passenger to avoid the front of the plane? Well it turns out - according to the pilot, that he did warn the young actress about the propeller, tried to guide her away from it, and asked her to stay away from the front of the plane. Once he thought that the situation was handled he returned to his seat and that's when the trouble happened.

celebrity charity - plastic surgery for the soul

Plastic surgery - reconstructive or merely cosmetic has come a long way, and no one has done more in their own way to help that along than Madonna. As for her most recent contribution to the world - the Malawi School backfired. Madge got this bright idea after adopting a Malawian baby - David Banda (remember the child is being raised by a celebrity so kept him in your prayers). Vangelina Jolie and Oprah were pulling stunts like thata the time so it seemed okay.

It ran into trouble when Madge appointed the boyfriend of her former personal trainer (Tracey Anderson) as head of the operation. Apparently he made pretty free with the loot according to the stories. Free meaning he helped himself to such perks as gold card golf club memberships and what not. That caused the whole ball of string to uinravel and set Madonna up for seom stinging public criticism.

Criticism like the comments of Trevor Nelson from the Global Philantrophy Group. Trev said that building an expensive school in Malawi was probably and ineffectively form of charity. He felt that existing non governmental structures should be supported. You can tell he don't get many invites to award galas. The result is that the Malawian gov is upset cause the promised funding ain't following through. Only 3.8 mill out of the estimated 15 mill has been spent and thing whole project is now stalled. The project began back in 2008 with a ceremonial ground breaking featuring an A List array of guests, like Alex Rodriguez!

So let's then concentrate on the one thing that Madonna gets really consistently right - IMAGE! Just hit the following link - 15 Years of Madonna - and see for yourselves how the Material Girl's iconic face has changed again and again over the past decade and a half!

Rihanna sneaking around with Chris Brown again?

2012-01-18T01:45:00.004-04:00

Love is a many splendored thing and the course of true love never runs smooth - even or especially if you're Rihanna. If you'll recall Rihanna made a major career breakthrough by cashing in on public sympathy after her then boy friend Chris Brown got caught beating the living crap out of her. That sort of thing had happened before but his was the first time anyone found out about it. Chris and Ri had been having their usual snit about other women. Ri found some text messages on Brown's phone that she felt had no business there and one thing lead to another. That lead to Ri's head making abrupt contact with the dashboard. AS Chris scampered away from the scene of the crime some busy body called the cops. Then some pix got taken and the rest is history.

Now from history to current events. According to D Listed Ri has returned to the scene of the crime. To put it bluntly she's allegedly seeing Chris Brown again. According to everytime Ri ios in LA she makes a point of going to see Brown like she can't get enough of him. Some speculate that Ri likes to flirt with danger and live on the wild side. So that ameks Chris as att5ractive to her a a flame to a moth.

The plot thickens. Chris already has a chick - Karrueche Tran. So that makes his Rihanna relationship cheating. Cheating usually requires an explanation and that's what happened by way of Twitter. Chris's official spokesperson has been quick to deny any validity to the Rihanna rumours - in particular that he's cheating on Karrueche - and that lead to the following Tweet from Rihanna:

How can you lie to her, while u lay with me???.....If you don't have an answer, you don't have to answer.

So where does that leave us? Rihanna made it on pity. That's largely because a lit of women wanted to make a point in the ongoing battle of the sexes. Some people merely wanted to turn her into another Tina Turner. Now she's turned around and - allegedly - made fools of them. Guess how popular that's gonna make her. For a gal with middling looks and talent she came a long way by getting smacked upside the head. It's a damned shame she had to throw that away.

Now here's a gal with out standing looks and talent, and she didn't need anyone to beat her up to help her make it. She's Susanna Hoff from the Bangles and she recently had a birthday!

Scientology & Scandal Saturday

2012-01-14T07:30:00.009-04:00

Bad News BAG

Life isn't all beer and skittles when you're married to Megan Fox. There are also out standing unpaid debts from the ex to deal with. Back in 1990 Brain Austin Green was involved witht he mother of his now nine year old child. Her name is Vanessa Marcil. For some reason he gave, or loaned, her $50 000. Who knows what possessed him to hand over that kind of money except that it was probably cheaper than paying off some lawyer. Then he topped that off by giving or loaning her another whopping $150 000!

Well that was over 20 years ago and BAG says he ain't sen one thin dime of the cash she allegedly owes him since. Even though he asked for pay back as recently as November! So he's going off to court to get satisfaction! To that end BAG has filed suit against his ex to the tune of 200 000, for the unpaid loan and for unspecified damages. Now 20 years might seem like a long time to wait to get a 200 000 loan paid back but give BAG a break. Meggers ain't been making any Transformers lately! Incidentally Brian and Vanessa worked together back on 91210.

Gene Hackman had a run in recently literally. The 81 yaer old was out and about riding his bike in the Florida Keys when he got knocked over by a passing motorist. He was reported as suffering serious injuries to the head and body, and was airlifted to hospital. Before the Hackman fans start freaking that was at 3 PM local time yesterday. By 2:40 PT he was released from hospital. Hackman inists that he's fine and onl;y suffered bumps and bruises after being hit by a driver from behind. So let that be a warning to you aboutt he dangers of exercise and other forms of physical activity!

the latest on Scientology

It's been awhile since there have been any good Scientology stories but that seems to be changing. For years Marty Rathbun was Scientology's No 2 exec. Rathbun recently revealed by way of his blog that for years Scientology used a man named Michael Doven, now a celebrity photographer, to keeps taps on one of their top assets - Tom Cruise.

Back in 1990 Cruise was with Kidman. That put some strain on his relationship with the Church of Scientology and with it's leader David Miscavige. It seems that Ms Kidman didn't care for Miscavige and feared that he would be some kind of bad influence on Tom. So she laid down the law - no more hanging around Int Base. Tom was eager to please his high strung and demanding partner, so he went along with it. That lead to a period of estrangement between him and the church.

Just because Tom stopped coming by didn't mean that Miscavidge had forgotten about him. In act the head Scientologist had his ways of staying in touch. Among them was Michael Doven, an employee of the Cruise, and a Church member. Doven would report everything he saw and heard int he Cruise household back to Miscavige and his then associates, like Rathbun. By everything I mean everything, like Cruise's marriage with Kidman, his concerns about the Church, and his working relationship with Steven Spielberg. This allowed the Church to win Cruise back by tailoring an approach around his personal issues and concerns. Cruise eventually returned to the fold back in 2001.

For more on this story head on over to the Voice, where they have an extensive transcript of conversations between Michel and Marty:

Village Voice: running scared

Village Voice: What Is Scientology?

BTW most of the anti Scientology stuff that's been coming out since 2000 has been from former Church members, often high ranking ones. In some cases officials who were defending the Church in one new show might be blowing the whistle on the same program a year later. So that raises the question as to whether or not the whole Scientology brouhaha is just some power struggle within the Church by people who may be unhappy with Miscavidge's leadership, and are using the media to stir things up. If Miscavidge goes the same people may be in reverse spin a little later, and then you'll hear a lot of pro Scientology stuff coming out of those same sources. It's the media spinning game. Unfortunately the ever vigilant media seems to have missed the deeper story - vicious infighting, in spite of so many ex members dropping by in eager tattle mode to drop of the latest Scientology scoop.

Hopefully I'm not coming off like a Scientology sympathizer. Though some groups can be very quietly critical of Scientology, here at Wondertrash every dogma gets it's day!

Since we began with BAG and his lovely wife Megan Fox, let's end with some Megan Fox inspired Wonder Woman art!

Tabloid preserved for posterity online!

For those of you who loved the old Weekly World News you can now go back in time a read read your favorites about Bat boy, Hilary Clinton Impregnated by Aliens, and World's Fattest Cat Eats Owner! They're stored online @ GoogleBooks!

image courtesy of the Cave of Cool

Gossip Overload

2012-01-12T21:11:00.005-04:00

Heather Locklear hospitalized

Things are heating up so hold on to your hats. 1stly Heather Locklear is back in hospital. She's had an off and on battle with booze and pills for over 15 years. She kept it a well hidden secret by drinking on the sly and checking into hotels with a sobriety coach to dry out. It came to light back when her ex Richie Sambora started seeing Charlie Sheen ex Denise Richards. The strain may have been too much for Locklear and she went off the wagon. That's when her years of secret drinking got out.

The on and off battle is on again with a vengeance. TMZ is reporting that Heather has been admitted to hospital for a booze and pills overdose. Heather's sister found her and phoned authorities on 2:05 PM. That's when the Verntura County Sheriff's Dept got involved. Paramedics who arrived on the scene decided Heather needed to be hospitalized. This comes on the heels of her bust up with former Melrose Place co star Jack Wagner.

Lindsay Lohan - Lien on me

Locklear isn't the only celeb having a hard time of it lately. Lindsay Lohan specializes in hard times and things are now getting seriously hairy for her. She's had her brushes with the law from time to time, and usually she comes out ahead. This time the big guns are pointed straight her way. The big guns in question belong to the IRS, and these dudes don't mess around.

Now everyone who's been following Lindz knows that she's run into some serious fiscal trouble lately. That's because she's been out of work for awhile. Paying of a pack of lawyers to keep her ass out of jail didn't help the situation. Some stories have had her bumming money out of friends at the super market check out so that she could afford her Ben & Jerry's. Her current situation is more serious. Seems that she owes Uncle Sam about $93 000 that she neglected to pay. SO the IRS is putting a lien on her.

Lindz, through her spokes persons, says that shew as unaware of the problem. That's believable, since for one thing she's had a lot of plates spinning. Sources also say that the tax bill got lost in the shuffle - Lindz recently replaced most of her financial management. The problem should be easy to fix. Lindz recently got a million dollar pay day for doffing her duds in Playboy. Besides, if things really get rough there's always Dancing With the Stars!

Sinead O Connor in crisis

A mess with the IRS is bad but it could be worse. It seems to be for radical Irish songstress Sinead O Conner. If you're beyond a certain age you'll remember that she's the one who tore up a picture of the Pope on SNL to protest Andrew Dice Clay's participation in the show! Clay's Jewish so it didn't really make sense - but it was a long time ago.

Lately Sinead's been erratic. Things started out innocently enough. She had a gig to cut some tracks for some new album. She got herself a Twitter account about the same time. At first the tweets were straight forward - the "hi how are ya" kind. There was even a good dose of self effacing humour - "I'm a gal you can take anywhere twice, the second time to apologize". Then things started spiraling out of control.

Sinead got married to some guy. It only lasted 16 days. Then she started tweeting about how she needed a man real bad, especially if he was Robert Downey jr! She tweeted that she was developing some strange preoccupations with fresh supermarket produce, what without a good man being handy. Finally she took to the Tweet to ask her followers if they knew any good shrinks in the Dublin/Wicklow area. She explained that she was crying out to the world because Ireland is a poor place to look for help. Well it's now been revealed that Sinead has attempted suicide a couple of times recently - once by overdose after a performance in LA last Thursday, in which Glenn Close was in attendance! Hopefully things will improve for O Connor.

Liv Tyler bound and gagged in new flick

2012-01-12T08:07:00.017-04:00

More Hollywood Bondage!

Liv Tyler has a new flick coming out called The Ledge. It's the story of a good Christian woman who begins cheating on her religious fanatic husband with her boss. Now if you follow the frequent news reports of quiet religious types then you know that they don't take bad news well (the guy is probably a Ron Paul supporter, too!). Here's a brief synopsis in the form of the official movie promotional trailer!

In Liv's case it ends in blackmail and bondage! Liv is held hostage by her cuckolded husband, who forces her to wear a ball gag, while he blackmails her adulterous lover into standing on the ledge of a building with orders to jump at high noon, or else Lovely Liv gets it! Now to wet your freaky appetites, here are some pics from the flick!

excess gag-age!

Wonder Woman bound with her own magic lasso again?

You know what would've made those pictures perfect? Bullet proof bracelets and a red star tiara. Hope you enjoy the pix. You have no idea how many bondage sites I had to surf to find 'em! Liv reports, by way of the usual promotional media, that she had to spend an entire day filming that seen in a hotel room tied to a chair and wearing a ball gag. She also says that she enjoyed being tied up, but not in a sexual way!

Incidentally, I hear - by way of something I just made up - that Russell Brand is eagerly looking forward to Liv's new flick and only wishes that his marriage to Katy Perry was half as interesting. Guess that Brand was misinformed about the sex lives of religious fanatics! BTW if you want to know what's with Lynda Carter's face - it's hard to scratch an itchy nose when you're tied to a chair. Either that or she was trying to twitch her way out of her predicament just like Elizabeth Montgomery in Bewitched!

Works in progress!

Wondertrash is the first and only blog to engage in an Award Gala Boycott this year. So don't look for any stories about Brad and Vangie on the red carpet. The only coverage of any award show will be when Ricky Gervais is involved!

Is Khloe REALLY a Kardashian?

2012-01-11T22:12:00.001-04:00

The news just gets worse and worse for the Kartrashians. 1st Kim is involved in an alleged marriage that only took about 72 days to enrage the American public; then Khloe turns out to have some questionable parentage. What kind of questions could there be about her parentage? Well there are some allegations that she's a "love child". IN plain English that means that her alleged father Robert Kardashian may not be her biological father. For more info just take a look at this short vid from the good people at TMZ!

This sort of fake wedding shit never happened with Paris Hilton. She had enough respect for the institution of marriage to leave her shenanigans at the level of sex tapes and media stunts! So not being a Kardashian might be a potion in Khloe's favour right now! For some heated debate on the topic head right over to Gossiprocks forum where the Khloe thread is now 5 pages and growing!

Russell Crowe does Canadian TV show - tonight!

2012-01-11T14:25:00.001-04:00

Halle Berry & Olivier Martinez Get Engaged!

2012-01-11T12:29:00.000-04:00

The Unit: Yeah, I'm a Jersey Shore D-Bag

2012-01-10T11:14:00.000-04:00

Send in the clones

2012-01-08T19:54:00.007-04:00

Remember when Octomom got big a few years back (both literally and figuratively)? Apart from the fact that she'd had 8 kids at once, the thing that amazed people was her resemblance to Angelina Jolie. Then it turned out that the resemblance, like the pregnancy wasn't on the level. She'd got her self knocked up with multiple embryos using a doctor who's license got pulled after the scam got uncovered. The doctor who gave her the Jolie face transplant is apparently still working and perfecting his/her technique. Or so the sudden emergence of Angelina Jolie clones would have you think.

The big one at the moment is Lina Sands. She's an aspiring Spanish actress - aspiring actress that is since I think being Spanish comes naturally. She won't confirm or deny having any little cosmetic touch ups, but she doesn't mind flaunting her resemblances to yesterdays sex symbol by way of youtube (it would've lsot impact on Twitter so Youtube was the way to go with this). Here's the video that's starting ot make some buzz!

Girls Moist Likely!

She does look like Vagina Jolie - as she did about 12 years and 30 pounds ago. People liked her better then. Also this chick seems to have a pleasant and suer friendly personality. That's unlike Jolie who always seemed a little possessed. People found that exciting but were never quite sure when the actress might go off her head, run amok, or possibly even get dangerous. Now that only goes to show that you can't judge a book by it's public image since apart from holding Brad Pitt hostage these many years, Jolie never ever did go on that long anticipated Thelma and Louise cross country crime spree. Others like Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, and Britney Spears were gonna have to fill the mayhem void that Jolie had been pegged to plug. Which only goes to show that sometimes it's the ones you least suspect instead of the girl most likely.

So there's Lina out there sporting an over bite like Bugs Bunny while pro gossip writers go "WOW - another one". Thing is that she ain't the only one. There seem to be a whole slew of unsung Vagina Jolie duplicates out there. Like the chick from the Ukraine for one thing. Her name is Tatyana Vorzheva and might look more like Pia Zadora at first - until you know what you're looking for (how else can you see what you're supposed to see?).

Plastic surgery is an assembly line for D Listers!

The girl seems to have something - but there is too mush Pia Zadora mixed in to be convincing. That's why it's good to have the professionals to fall back on. By professionals I mean the army of impersonators who make their dubious living as celebrity body doubles and both dine and out pay the rent by their resemblance, chance or surgical, to the famous. Jolie isn't an exception there. She also has a professional impersonator, apart from Octomom. This one goes under the moniker of Tiffany Claus and here's a look at her.

She is convincing but may have had help from the scalpel. Now those who aspire to Joliehood should be warned that getting sliced and diced to fame and fortune is not without it's side effects. "Not without" is an awkward way of say "it has". Here it is!

So where does this leave us? A little better off maybe. Vagina Jolie was getting a terrible attitude that comes from being one of a kind. The minute some one figures out that others think they're dispensable then they're on the short road to turning into Hitler! Fortunate Vagina kept it in check and limited it to writing for the economist and stealing kids from the 3rd world - Baba Yaga style (Baba Yaga is an eastern European term for the local witch who likes to steal children from new mothers. The name literally means "Boney Ass" and at Jolie's current weight it fits!).

you can't spell "superficial" without "super"

The thing is now we have some substitutes to fall back on, in case the whole beauty thing starts really going to Vagina's head. Should Hollywood's No 1 fembot malfunction and go haywire - say by running for Pres in the fall with Sarah Palin as VP, or even by getting a show on the OWN Network, then she cane be shelved indefinitely while one of the younger friendlier 2.0 versions are made much of. That'll teach her. It might diminish the whole cachet of uniqueness though, when clones start popping up with the frequency of new born bunnies. Still this is the age of the iPhone - every one has one and there's always a better one. So think of this as making beauty more democratic!

Now here's another little cautionary video on the perils of plastic surgery - Megan Fox style!

In a more naive time they would've billed those before shots as "Megan without make up!" Now the 1st video morns the loss of a 'great beauty'. It should be pointed out that Megan is still alive, though she looks a little different. Maybe that's the repsonse that fuels the insecureities that lead to the plastic surgery in the first place. The point is that no one stopped her, not even for the good of the nation! We were more concerned with Lindsay Lohan. That's a shame since you can always go to rehab for drug addiction but there's no eraser for plastic surgery! So hopefully the beautiful people and their marketers will keep that in perspective from here on in - It is Hollywood so let's not let mental health concerns ever get a head of looking your very best! AS for Foxy, if she was gonna get renovations done on her face, couldn't she have gotten something done about those awful thumbs at the same time!

You can't spell superficial without super!

Miranda Kerr's Video Diary 2

2012-01-07T19:44:00.000-04:00

Now here's something to take your minds off of that horrible Casey Anthony's vid dairy!

Wonder Woman Love

AbFab Sneak Peek

2012-01-07T12:06:00.002-04:00

"The Kardashians are multiplying like head lice - each with their own reality TV series!" Just like "The Trouble With Tribbles" fluffy cuddly little monsters are threatening to destroy us! Don't worry cause Pasty and Eddie will save us!

Stay tuned for the further adventures of Eddie and her side kick Mentally Ill Patsy on the 8th!

Casey Anthony's Video Diary

2012-01-06T21:36:00.008-04:00

For those of you who have heard about Casey Anthony's video diary I'm sorry to tell you that the rumours are true - yes she does now have Kate Gosselin's hair!

Psychomom has been getting a lot of flack lately for continuing to rub the public's nose in her face. You can't really blame her. Jail is like hell for a young horny psychopath and sometimes a gal can get lonely. Especially when the closest you can come to genuine emotion is greed, lust, and selfishness! Well never fear Casey cause there really is a guy out there for you and he's headed straight your way!

Dreams do come true! Incidentally The Unit got busted for possession of the date rape drug Ketamine or Special K. That's the veterinary horse tranquilizer Kate Moss used to take to calm down after a hard day's night of allegedly cocaine fueled partying, and back in her heady Pete Doherty days! Cocaine Kate would down two of those - according to some internet gossip sites - just to get some sleep! Of course she had a lot on her mind back then what with Pete getting busted every 5 minutes and spraying blood on random passer bys. If you're along time gossip follower than you know that it ain't like it used to be back in the old days!

So the upshot is the celeb gossip has been in the doldrums lately, what with Paris Hilton take time off to develop her numerous brands and Lindsay Lohan in legal limbo. Even mouthy Megan Fox, the girl who can talk even when you don't pull her cord, seems to have calmed down. Domesticity can do that. Another thing it can do is get some one like Sienna Miller back into the public eye.

Sienna shot to fame by getting jilted by Jude Law after stealing him away from his ex wife. Sienna got a lot of sympathy from folk who felt that Jude wasn't playing the game right by cheating on his mistress like that. There are no rules but there is such a thing as how the game is played. The sympathy dried up when everyone found out what an alleged ~~SLUT~~ good timer Sienna is. She tool the break up like a real little chin up trooper by dating a merry go round whirl wind of lucky, if not edible, men; like Balthazar Getty. She also made more movies than she had any business doing, until some kind of rumoured falling out with Russell Crowe on Sherwood clipped her wings. Russy we got much to thank you for (say hi to Ryan Doyle next time yer by the Rock, B'ye).

So after GI Joe we kinda lost track of Sienna. I hear that shew as trying to talk herself into hot spots by claiming to be Mischa Barton for a while, but maybe that's just made up trash you read on sites like this. Anyway those of you who have loved and missed Sienna, and are allowed of your cells to use computers will be happy to know that she has a new project in the works. After failing to revive her career by failing to revive her romance with Jude Law (he got smarter the second time around) Sienna decide to try something worth while and meaningful; like getting herself knocked up. It worked for Bristol Palin!

US Magazine is reporting that Sienna 30 and her current boyfriend (not everyone learns from others' mistakes) Tom Sturridge 26 are expecting a baby. Now in case you're wondering what Sienna sees in Sturridge, besides a sperm donor, one of his closest friends is Robert Pattinson. In fact in September, the duo went on a double date with Sturridge's pal Robert Pattinson and girlfriend Kristen Stewart. The foursome knocked back drinks at London's Groucho Club.

Now you might well be wonder what this has to do with today's theme of celebrity crime and punishment. Well let's just say that there ought a be a law! Then again maybe this is just a false alarm, and some info that's got twisted out of context and blown out of proportion - like Sienna has finally found a new film job. Maybe even in a sequel to as popular Sci Fi series!

A burning Kim Kardashian question that can be answered without a Valtrex Rx!

Now you know that Kim Kardashian has a flip attitude towards marriage - allegedly (allegedly is the blogger's get out of jail free card!) Either that or she values marraige like a terminal patient values life, by making the most of the short time available - depends on how you look at it. She's got a lot of flack for that lately. How far does her contempt for the institution of marriage go though? Could she really be a home wrecker too? Head on over to Gossiprocks for that answer to that burning question!

Ellen Barkin in NYC streetfight

2012-01-05T10:28:00.010-04:00

Barkin Mad

Ellen Barkin can be one mean bitch - at least she was in Johnny Handsome with Mickey Rourke back when they were both pretty. She may have lost her looks (probably in the divorce) but she still has her mean streak! She recently showed it while out and about on the streets of New York City.

Barkin was showing her support for the Occupy Wall Street movement (incidentally every Occupy movement in Canada has been broken up except for Occupy Newfoundland - they'll be disbanding a half hour later!) when she felt things were getting a little out of hand. So she got a little out of hand. That lead to a case of push comes to shove with one of NYC's finest.

Now to hear Ellen tell it they were rounding up school girls and herding them in tot he backs of paddy wagons, while tasering them mercilessly with stun guns. So Ellen quickly got in touch with her inner super hero and went Wonder Woman on them. She stepped up and asked the cop what the fuck he though he was doing. That's when - acco0rding to her - he lost his patience with the mouthy old broad and shoved her onto the side walk. The tale of the tape seems to tell a slightly different story in which the cop merely pushes Barkin out of the way. See for yourselves. BTW Ellen's the feisty little blonde in the black over coat.

Now it's unclear from that who got in whom's face - though sources say Ellen did tell the officer to fuck off. I'm sure Ellen was provoked to the use of profanity. I'm not trying to perpetuate the stereotype of actresses being histrionic and prone to wild exaggerations! She also took to celebrity venue of choice - Twitter - to vent her spleen - with more profanity - at the NYPD, and Mayor Bloomberg. Here are some of the highlights of her twitter feed -

"Just threatened on my street by NYPD, cop shoved me, both hands, onto sidewalk..Is it a crime 2 stand in the street in NY? WTF is going on here?"
"I was trying 2 make my way 2 young girl they had thrown in2 the van.She was not a protester. Was not drunk. She was walking home"
“F--k all of u, Bloomberg & every1 goosestepping behind u”

That confirms she knows how to use fuck in the correct context. Now I'm all for people exerting the democratic rights to free speech, even celebrities. I just hope that Miss Barkin has the discretion and tact to be very careful where she parks in NYC from now on. On the bright side the world has been spared the Ellen Barkin mugshot!

A quick update on the Katy Perry - Russell Brand bust up - round two has been fired with leaks from a source who may or may not be speaking for Katy. According to said source Brand is in to weirdo porn - stuff no decent person would look at, like guys in wheelchairs and possibly midgets! OK I made the part about the midgets up, but the wheelchair stuff comes by way of Celebitchy (Via Hollywood Life) quoting US Magazine - where Katy says that Brand is a sick sick man. Here are some of the highlights of that:

*Russell “duped” Katy with the prenup. Katy wanted to sell the photos from their Indian wedding, and she wanted Russell to sign a prenup, but he refused on both counts. Allegedly, Brand wanted to keep their wedding “pure” – he’s quoted as saying, “I want to make our wedding … normal, So it ain’t selling the pictures.” Meanwhile, since they filed in California, a community property state, “it could mean their assets will be divided down the middle therefore putting her $70 million fortune at stake. Their estate also includes $15 million in lavish properties all over the world.”

*Katy wasn’t “kinky” enough to satisfy Russell. A source says: “Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her. When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.” But the source also says that “despite Katy’s attempts to keep the spark alive in the bedroom by scheduling monthly date nights at swanky hotels, it was ‘never enough.’” This source, who knows intimate details about Katy and Russell’s lovemaking, also said: “He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular p0rn0 with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him. And he has a closet full of sex toys.”

*Russell hated being alone: “Russell always needs someone there and that’s not Katy,” the source says. “She’s busier than he is.”

*Katy’s hard partying lifestyle and friends really bothered him: “Russell can’t be in clubs because of his recovery and Katy didn’t want to give up the partying. She didn’t want to even compromise. That infuriated Russell.”

*Russell wanted to start a family: “When he asked Katy about [having kids],” the source says. “Katy would just smile and says she was too busy.”

*Russell wasn’t supportive of Katy’s career: “She had so many things going on this year and there were so many times he wasn’t there,” the source says. “He told her she wasn’t funny [when she hosted SNL] and he was totally uninterested [when he sat front row at her last concert]. He seemed annoyed he was there. I don’t think he sat through one whole song.”

So I guess we can forget about Brand and Katy always staying the very best of friends like his press release claims. Just can't wait for their sex tape to get released (you know it's out there!).

Katy Perry put fame ahead of kids

2011-12-31T21:28:00.004-04:00

Russell Brand started his career as an edgy Brit radio host. He got kicked off that gig by telling listeners that he'd fucked the granddaughter of Andrew Sachs, among thousands of others. Andrew Sachs is the guy who played Manuel on Fawlty Towers, and his grand daughter is some kind of notable London psychic. Andy got mad and made a public stink that got Brand the boot.

Upshot is that Brand is famous for sex, scandal, and for claiming to have bagged more ass than Wilt the Stilt! When he married recovering Christian power pop singer Katy Perry people figured that it wasn't the only show biz relationship based on irreconcilable differences. People also asked how long it could go on. Since the couple were married in a lavish ceremony, back in 2010, skeptics wouldn't have long to wait. Only about 14 months. That's how long it took for the papers to get officially filed.

Now there had been rumblings for some time. Ellen DeGeneres made some remarks about it when Russ made an appearance a few months back. EdG asked if it were true that Katy had filed for divorce and Russ jokingly responded "She should have told me." Way to use humor as a deflection! Even though Russ was maintaining that there was zero fire under the smoke the alarm buzzer went off earlier today when it was reveled that Russ himself had filed against his wife. Russ claims that he took the initiative of divorcing he wife because her family are church happy and couldn't take it if she'd filed. So basically he's divorcing his wife to be a gentleman - not sure if that's more deflective humor!

Brand sites "irreconcilable differences" in his divorce papers. Now before you go jumping to the obvious conclusions about Brand screwing up his marriage by getting drunk and sleeping around - bewared. That boozed out horn hound routine was just hype. The real reason, and Brand is not too gentlemanly to admit it, or have others drop hints about it on his behalf, is that Katy was an immature, shallow, and selfish person. Now that's not what Brand's people are saying. They have a kinder gentler spin. The official story says that Russ was ready to settle down, and Katy didn't want kids. Her career is too hot now and a pack of rug rats would only have slowed her down. Hope her Christian kin ain't reading those comments or it would defeat the whole purpose of Russ filing first!

Some other little comments are getting dropped too. Stuff like perhaps Katy didn't realize what kind of a commitment marriage was. It's not all harsh criticism though. Brand does say that he knows he will always remain best friends with his soon to be ex mate. That could prove challenging since when the couple married back in October 2010 - in a ceremony featuring the pair riding elephants, they are believed to have hooked up with out a pre nup. So Russ could be due of half of what the missus made since Oct 2010 - and it's been a lucrative 14 months for Perry! Her "Kissed a Girl" single made about a cool 50 mill, and her California Dreamin' world tour is already at he 20 mill mark in earnings. So who thinks that Russ is gonna be just as gentlemanly about letting his wife keep her caash as he was about sparing her Christian family's feeling?

Rachel Uchitel Preggers

2011-12-30T14:33:00.004-04:00

Rachel Uchitel: Natural beauty or world's largest cubic zirconia?

Life is full of tests. Some might seem a little "challenged" at first glance; like Rachel Uchitel. However when it comes to tests, some make up for it on their orals! Now for those asking "Who the fuck is Rachel Uchitel?", then might I answer "It's clear that you've got better things to do". I can add that this was the one that blew - maybe literally but let's say only figuratively - Tiger Woods out of the water. That was back in the days when Tiger Woods was almost perfect or something. Like Achilles he had his heel, and if there's anything Uchitel knows about it's heels! Before you knew it Tiger's Swedish Sweetie was hopping mad and folks were reading about it on the gossip sights. Tiger took a little while to get his nerve back and has only recently started winning golf games again.

Uchitel has had a busy time since then. In fact her dance card's been booked tighter than Alexandre Dupree - remember her (she's the one who brought down Elliot Spitzer, who nowadays can't even find regular employment on cable news though once upon a time he was Gov of NY)? She's made some attempted forays into the heady world of reality TV. She also got involved with celebrity shyster Gloria Allred (& she'd sue me for that if she knew who the fuck I am!). By got involved I mean she hired Allred to get her some money and wound up trying to get some money out of Allred when she thought that Gloria had sold her out by convincing her to take a deal. See what we mean here when we talk about "back stabbing- infighting" etc. Just another day on the school yard - only Shakespeare with his alleged "angelic wit" and his confirmed weakish spelling ever envisioned the world as a stage!

That bag's life had had more ups and downs than a B movie ingenue -and it's had it's ins and outs too. Those ins and outs bring us to the very latest Uchitel story. Seems that her hole works both ways! By that I mean she's got herself all knocked up (belief it or not it's more than some of her kind are capable of!). Some of you might be doing double takes over that kind of news. 1st the ironically named "Christopher" Hitchens gives up the ghost in time for Christmas - now this slut goes and shoots the shit out of the Evolution Theory! So it's a bad time for ats all over. Lest you doubt me, here's a picture of Ms. Uchitel that proves her reproductive organs actually do extend above the cervix - so see then for yourselves!

Yet another Daily FAIL

Wasn't that heartwarming, what with her decked out like a candy cane in time for Christmas? The bitch looks totally busted, but seems not too know it; which makes her look even more totally busted! BTW her hubby is Matt Hahn - that's the guy there in the shot who doesn't know how far up his own ass he stuck his head by marrying Ms Uchitel! Now here comes the really good part. Ms Uchitel only found out that she was in the family way when she auditioned for The Amazing Race. As part of the auditioning process she had to take a drug test. No fucking kidding - reality TV ain't anything you can memorize lines for so high school was right for teachin' you to cheat! Anyhow the test come back positive for pregnancy!

BTW I can not confirm that Rachel Uchitel shares a plastic surgeon with German actress Xenia Seeberg, only that there is a strong "family resemblance".

Love American Style

2011-12-29T22:35:00.010-04:00

Love and the age of Reality TV

Just because bloggers want to go on mad drunken tears for months at a time doesn't mean that the exciting world of celebrity gossip comes to a stand still. In fact it goes remorselessly on. There are the new and developing stories like Kim Kardashian's alleged marriage and very real divorce, after on 72 days to whomever it was that she was married to. While Kim hummed and hawed about giving the wedding gifts back - "why should I? People wanted me to have them and they help me feel better after my divorce" the mercenary TV personality might say -others wanted to know if it was true that she got a big 20 million pay out for the marriage, in the way of deals from cable TV nets works. For the amount of time that she was married those massive too big to fail pay outs almost amount to what Mike Tyson used to get fore his seconds in the ring, back in his glory days. Of course a marriage can be far nastier than any boxing match.

Truly love is a many splendored thing. Kim isn't the only one to show it either. One of the big on going stories was the Passion of Saint Mel. Mel got into some heavy duty trouble when he started two timing Jesus with some Russian slut on the make. That wasn't the best public relations follow up for his hi profile DUI and subsequent separation from his wife Robyn. When Mel got his new Russian sweetie Oksana Griegorieva preggers the shit hit the fan. That ultimately lead up to a whole mess of tape recorded phone calls get made public on celebrity gossip sites like Radaronline - you know how those commies are for wiretaps! It also lead to some domestic abuse charges in which Oksy claimed that she had been sacred and abused by a man who would not allow her the space for her love and gratitude to flow freely, and express it's dubious existence in that way; as opposed to expressing it's dubious existence through tape recorded phone calls and criminal charges.

Anyway that thing has come to a head now, for now. Mel has had his big court case on his crime against womanhood, and the judge has handed down the sentence. Basically it's the usual celebrity deal consisting of community service, with some kind of rehab stint to get tacked on later if Mel ain't enthusiastic about the comserve. Some celebs, like Lindsay Lohan, seem to have a real problem with that stuff. Any way here's a short clip of our hero in his big meet up with the judge and she laid down the law - Hollywood style. Go on and grab a closer look cause you know that you want to!

no good deeds go unpunished even in Hollywood

BTW tings are getting nasty for the Kardashians with lots of rumors about her mom falling out with her BFF Kathy Lee Gifford. The National Enquirer is also reporting on some kind of Kardashian Oprah Winfrey rift. It's apparently a falling out over charity in Haiti. While both women went there to be seen in the presence of the world's unfortunates; Oprah roughed it with Sean Penn - and you can't get much rougher than that except maybe Mickey Rourke 15 years ago, while Kim seemed more interested in snagging 5 star accommodations and getting pedicures! BTW Kim says the whole thing was way exaggerated. As if this wasn't bad enough the Kardashains are having some problems with the help - no revolutions from down in the bowels of the Bastille or anything, as in the following short video:

I just hate it when people are exploitative, or exploited! Speaking of which Rick Perry has aimed some new gimmick at teens. That shows he has vision, meaning that since kids are too youg to vote he must be aware that he's already blown it this time around. As for the gimmick - I think he's floating a rumor that he's related to singer Katy Perry or something.

Just what the youth of America crave - more Jesus! Anyway Jerky Dicky ain't the only hi profile Repub making waves. Ron Paul is doing it without Jesus. He merely made recourse to a pop culture short cut by way of American Idol contestant Kelly Clarkson, and a Twitter outrage! Here's somwething from that from our good friends over at the Young Turks (not that I know them personally or anything, I mean beyond trying to borrow money!)

That brings us to our final story of the day, and back to the themes of sex and crime with none other than Paris Hilton. Apparently the snow's been falling out of season for her down in sunny California!

There's no business like showbusiness - that goes double for poltics

2011-11-06T15:26:00.005-04:00

JFK - more conspiracy than you think

With the American Presidential elections coming up on us hard and fast it might be time to look at that other form of show business called democracy! So let's take a look at how the electoral process discovered that there was more to political success than bags full of unmarked bills and stuffing ballots. There was also make up, bright lights, and television cameras!

when eyes lies is seeing is deceiving?

Conspiracy has become a dirty word these days and synonymous with tin foil hats and “off his meds”. Yet conspiracies are an everyday occurrence. When an eager job applicant shows up at an interview spit shined & smiling, he’s trying to present his best image to his prospective employer. He might even add a padded out resume. Should he get some references to back him up, then he’s arranged a minor conspiracy. Image counts and a basic part of a conspiracy is presenting an image to hide the truth.

Sweating the sweet talk

When the stakes are higher than getting hired for some 9 to 5 job, then a lot more effort goes into building a cover. Like in politics. American democracy is like a turbo charged popularity contest where issues get blurred out by personalities. When a candidate can get enough people to like and trust him, he can translate that into support at the polls. So a lot of effort goes in to coming off looking good. These days they use neurolinguistic programming tech to befuddle voters with double talk (It’s the art of getting some one to focus on what they think they’re hearing instead of what you’re trying not to say). Even as far back as the Clinton era - remember the good times? - PR was hi tech. The Clinton staff used to run every speech through a focus group before it was put out for public consumption. Listener response to each word was charted, and if the response was negative, the word got yanked. By the time Slick Willie got up in front of the cameras his speech was streamlined and fine tuned to make the best possible impression.

Slack Jack gets a make over

Slick Willie wasn’t the first American Pres to sweet talk Joe Blow into co operation. One of the most notable examples of image management was the late John F Kennedy. His father bragged that he was gonna sell young John to the public like soap suds. So in addition to ballot stuffing and pay offs there was a lot of emphasis on JFK’s image. By the time he got to the debates he was all polished bronze. In comparison Tricky Dicky came of pasty and weaselly. There was no question who was gonna win class president, and it wasn’t the head of the chess club.

Candidate may be smaller than he appears in ads

Now Handsome Jack didn’t start life as James Bond. JFK had many health issues. For one thing one leg was shorter than the other (& that’s and example of NLP right there. Short is a loaded term. Describing one leg as shorter - instead of the other leg as longer, makes him sound jumped up. He’s either taller or shorter than he seems, depending on which leg you put the weight on!). That’s what caused his back trouble. He had to play football at Harvard and all that tearing around the field with uneven legs eventually wrecked his lower back.

When there’s no warranty you’d better check under the hood

He also had Addison’s Disease. Addison’s is a malfunction of the adrenal glands that can cause much grief. Like immune disorders. So Jack was always a sickly and skinny youth. In fact he spend much of his boyhood on the sick bed. At that time it wasn’t an issue since his older brother Joe Jr was being groomed for world domination. When Joe died tragically in World War 2, either on a heroic suicide mission that would look great on his future political resume, or trying to scale the electrified fence of a German POW camp - depending on which story you listen to, Jack inherited his family’s great expectations. So vibrant good health became an issue. Especially when he got to the presidential campaign.

The glandular president

In the run up to the 1960 election the family decided something needed to be done about JFK’s persistent poor health. So they tried a new treatment. It involved injected JFK with cortisone to make up for his deficient adrenals. Cortisone is what’s called an androgen. In plain language it’s a male sex hormone or a steroid. It worked like a charm. That lad who’d always been scrawny and spend much of his life in a sick bad suddenly filled out and got athletic. With the extra dose of macho and consequent added weight he became virile looking and handsome. Even the Addison’s came in handy. One of the symptom of the disease is that when you have it you’re very sensitive to sunlight. Any exposure and you turn as orange as Lindsay Lohan. So it didn’t take much to turn Jack all bronzy. By the time he showed up for the debate with Nixon he looked as hale and hearty as if he’d some from a month on the Riviera with a stop off at the gym on the way.

as seen on TV

The debate is considered a crucial moment in the election. Up to that point JFK was seen as a light weight rich kid with no experience. Nixon had tons of experience under his belt - what with dealing with the Soviets as Eisenhower’s strong right arm. People who heard the debate on radio came away thinking that Nixon had won, and that JFK didn’t show much substance. People who saw it on TV thought JFK won, because he looked so much more capable and manly. Let’s face it, Jack was the kind of guy you wanted to hang out and have drinks with.

Developing chemistry with the voters

So image won the 1960 presidential elections, with a little help from the Chicago mafia - allegedly. Without his macho injections JFK might have come off like some pale skinny kid who couldn’t to stand up to the school bully, let alone Nikita Kruchev. With his magnetism switched on the nation fell in love. So he got to take Jackie to the Presidential prom while Nixon had to go muttering and complaining back to California to plot his revenge. People will argue about how much image had to do with that. After all he did get a lot of help winning that race. Bobby, as recounted in Seymour Hersh’s The Dark Side of Camelot, bribed every sherif in the south at $50 000 a pop, to insure support. Lyndon Johnson was an excellent choice of VP, since there never was a more colourful scoundrel in American politics; with the possible exception of Huey Long. If there was a guy to get results it was him.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression

Still when people look back on that it’s the debate they talk about, and the dramatic contrast between sweaty nervous Nixon and cool Handsome Jack. It made an impression. That impression was the result of a conspiracy to conceal JFK’s weak health from the voters, and to get him boosted up for the race. Arrangements had to be made to present him to the public as some one they could place confidence in, if not exactly trust. Of course the public couldn’t be let in on the deal. That would take the fun out of it, as well as ruin the whole effect. So JFK was more than the first pres to compete using performance enhancing drugs - that we know of. He also proves that conspiracies are more than just tin foil and untreated mental illness! Whenever two or more get together to project the right image, that by definition is a conspiracy.

PS. The Kennedy lesson wasn’t lost on PR managers. When Reagan ran he was made up like a corpse in a funeral parlor. His hair was always dyed jet black, even though it was doubtful that it was his natural colour, or by that age that the hair was even his. It became an open joke and Reagan never denied the dye job. He just wouldn’t own up to it. He was too savvy to insult the intelligence of a now cynical public. He simply didn’t talk about it and hoped people would go along with what they saw, even if the knew different.

It’s interesting to think that one leaked photo of a greyed out Reagan going into the White House barber shop for his dye job might have blown his cover, and America’s confidence in him. It might’ve accomplished what his liberal opponents were so eager to achieve - piercing his Teflon. Even if the photo was doctored people would stop and think it was probably what he really looked like, and the damage would have been done. Oddly, though they pride themselves on being image savvy, the left didn’t think of that one.

PSS. Mr 60 Minutes Andy Rooney has passed away at the age of 92 and after a long distinguished career as a journalist. Here now are a few more miunutes with Andy Rooney.

Chris Brown wiener pic

2011-11-03T15:22:00.007-03:00

Remember that Chris Brown Halloween wiener pic that caused so much uproar? Well if you haven't seen it for yourself here it is!

Now that's a dilly of a pickle ain't it?

Kooky Kimmy

Speaking of a pickle - the way now that the story is spreading about Kim Kardashian's fake phony wedding for cash people are getting up in arms. To bring you up to speed the story says that Kimmo on got married so she could cash in big on the wedding. Some say she made upward from 15 mill. Now that's a wad but nothing out of the ordinary if you're are Kardashian. Last year she made about 65 mill.

Now that has people feeling a little mad. In fact some are reacting like Kim had sent an 8 year old boy up in a tin foil balloon for fun and profit or something. In other words the public is feeling a little manipulated right now. So there's a lot of strong talk about Kicking Out The Kardashians. You'd think that shew as one of those crooked Wall Street Cheats or something. Anyhow that has Kimmo in damage control mode, as in the following brief videos.

video platform video management video solutions video player

video platform video management video solutions video player

People just hate getting taken for a ride. Why can't all those jealous haters just be happy for her, in her marriage and her divorce and whatever comes next - probably some other kooky project for fun and profit but definitely not for the money! Here's what Some Old Broad has to say about it.

Comedians react to Kardashian divorce

Rob Delaney has actually taken his disappointment over the breakup beyond twitter and is suing the Kardashians.

More tweets below.

So things are looking bad for Kimmo. She's has canceled the last leg of her Australian tour - which might have earned her over $150 000 for about an hour's alleged work; hot on the heels of the announcement that though she cashed in with a vengeance, she didn't want her alleged husband to make any money!

Unhappy Halloweenies

2011-10-31T17:27:00.011-03:00

Wondertrash Public Service Announcement:

Parents are asked to be on the look out for a powerful new form of marijuana going by the street name MK Ultra. It comes from a special genetically engineered strain of cannabis designed to effect people like crack or crystal meth. In fact it is so hallucinogenic that you can flip out after only one use. For instance one teenage girl who tried MK Ultra was discovered by her parents after locking her self in the wash room and trying to flush her cell phone down the toilet, because she thought it was controlling her mind. When they confronted her she merely stared at them and started making gibberish noise "brrrrrr, brrrr, brrrr!" In another case a single mom was reported to police after she began wandering around her back yard naked. When police arrived she kept telling them her name was Anne Heche, though neighbors said she was called Celestia. Police booked her in as Suzie Cheesecake!

The point is that anyone can have a bad day. It's when those bad days start ganging up on you that you've got some serious problems. Speaking of which here's todays celebrity gossip!

Squeaky clean singer with squeaky clean voice goes Celebrity Jihad!

Kim Kardashian Divorces - what took them so long?

Here's a link to her divorce papers

Demi Moore goes berserk!

Bernie Madoff is sick of people treating him like he's Saddam Hussein!

So even the beautiful people can have some rough moments. The point is that at least they're better off than Mumar Qaddafi! The only positive thing that's happened to him lately is that he has finally made computer spell check - fame at last! He's also better off than hard pressed reporter Chandler Smythe who falls asleep with a hangover and wakes up with vigor mortis! Chandler features in our special Wondertrash Halloween presentation of Good vs Evil episode 1 - Orange Volvo!!

Good vs Evil - Orange Volvo

Deleted User | Myspace Video

By the way Jessica Simpson is gonna be a mummy, but not for Halloween or anything. Now go have a trashtacular Halloween!

Judge goes medival on Michael Lohan's ass!

2011-10-30T16:48:00.004-03:00

Looks like the Lohan Family are having bad luck litigation wise these days. First Lindz gets her ticket pulled for violating probation. She got hauled off in cuffs for that, without bail. Now her dad Michael is in a spot of bother over his ex Kate Major. Michael was supposed to stay away from major due to some kind of pesky restraining orders - those things are the most formidable barrier to true love and psychotic stalkerish obsession! Now Mike claims that Kate was calling him the whole night and that he only returned the call. The judge said that wasn't the point - the point was that there was an officer at Major's listen on speaker phone when he called back. Plus there was that incident where he broke down her door or something and then had to escape by jumping off of her balcony. Upshot is that Mieky's gonna miss a lot of important appointments like his daughter's court date and Dr Drew's Celebrity Rehab! It couldn't have happened a t a worse time because Reality TV needs Michael Lohan now more than ever before!

video platform video management video solutions video player

video platform video management video solutions video player

Now the judge might have come off as a little bit harsh, what with not giving a damn about Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab, but you can't balme her for playing to the cameras. There's an important Michael Jackson Conrad Murray trial going on so you have to fight for every viewer!

BTW Halloween is coming up fast. Now there's more to Fright Night then arson and ritual blood sacrifice; there's also eye catching costumes. There's one costume that always makes an impression, and even some people you know of have tried her on for size!

Sometimes it's wonderful to be trashy!

Defense Expert Refutes Testimony in Jackson Case

2011-10-28T18:14:00.000-03:00

Wonder Woman Love

Micheal Lohan arrested again

2011-10-27T15:43:00.008-03:00

When it rains it pours in the Lohan Family. Lindsay is busted and naked - that is here probation got revoked so now she's posing nude in Playboy. She's going full on frontal for 1 million, and was offered another million for her vagina, but turned it down since her younger sister was gonna be sitting in on the shoots and Lindz wanted to keep everything within family values parameters - Lohan standards anyway.

Now her felonious father Michael has got himself busted again! Now if you'll recall Mikey tends to get in trouble with the law from time to time. It has something to do with his volatile Irish tempers, and the assortment of sluts he hangs around with. The last case was with tabloid vixen Kate Major. She worked with the Star until she fell in love with Jon Gosselin and then dumped him for Lohan. Well sooner or later push came to shove. Push 'n' shove in that case meant - according to Kate, that Mikey came home tanked up and pushed her out of a chair and unto the floor. He frightened her so bad that she had top call the cops and have him charged with domestic battery assault, or some such charge. Now this was serious cause Kate don't frighten easy. She's seen Jon Gosselin naked for one thing!

That's old news since the chair flipping incident occurred several months/couple of years back, while they were still together and just as one of Mikey's many probation sentences was running out. There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then, but some things never change. Like Michael. With his daughter's misfortunes still fresh in the tabloid headlines Mikey has once more gotten himself into hot water and once again it was over trashy cutie Kate Major ("the crowd is for you juicy waitress!"). Seems that Lohan was trying to confront his estranged ex when things got out of hand. Then they got stuck in a tree. Sounds like the sort of trouble only a Lohan can get into! Just take a look at the following short video for the dirty details!

After reading such stories you might find yourself asking "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" Well the answer is, to paraphrases the words of Charlie Sheen - the Warlock, they're special. That's why you can't process them with a normal brain. In fact they are so special that some believe celebs are actually reptoids, or reptilians. If you follow the conspiracy beat then you know that reptoids are a separate species that disguise themselves using holograms so that they can walk unseen amongst us, sabotage our economy, poison our minds with reality TV, and spike our children's milk with vaccine serums. They are the descendents of the dinosaurs who went under ground after the asteroid hit 65 million years ago, and have been trying to regain the planet from the primates ever since. It's kind of what HG Wells was hinting at with the Morlocks and the Elohim in The Time Machine. AS a card carrying member of the Illuminati Wells was privy to these secrets, which are generally with held from the rest of us.

If you don't follow the conspiracy beat and want to find out more about these creatures then take a look at the following short but informative video!

Death and other misadventures

2011-10-26T15:31:00.003-03:00

An adventure begins when a mistake is made so let's start with a false step from Steven Tyler!

Now let's move on to the serious misadventurers, like Amy Winehouse. Everyone knew whey the talented but unfortunate singer died at 27 - but now it's official: too much alcohol!

When Michael Jackson moon walked off the mortal coil he took some guilty bystanders with him, like Doc Hollywood Conrad Murray. Murray was one of the few physicians who still made house calls in this day and age - but much good it did him.

To hear Pres Barack Obama talk you'd think that the job of president was one big misadventure - nah just kidding, he really thinks it totals rocks. Hear it for yourself as he goes Art Linkletter with a 7 year old.

So if you want to scale the heady heights of fame then remember to get off on the right foot, or at least kept your best face forward; cause the only thing worse than stumbling is falling on your face!

... and remember that the Occupy Movement ain't for real until you Occupy Hollywood!

Lindsay Lohan Posing for Playboy?

2011-10-25T13:45:00.006-03:00

Things have been a little rough for Lindsay Lohan lately - what with her career drying up and her bail getting revoked. Only recently poor Lindz was lead out of her court hearing in handcuffs - shamed and humiliated before the prying eyes of the world! It looks like the chips are down but don't you worry about her cause Ms. Lohan has a fall back plan and one that could net her a cool million!

Now let's get Wendy Williams' take on Lindz -

What's behind the incredible success of Texas Governor Rick Perry in the poles? It could be his telegenic image, it could be the opposition of radio conspiracist Alex Jones, or it could be his special brand of mindless catchy gibberish! So sit back now with some hot yellow cool aid and take a look at the best of Rick Perry, via Bad Lip Reading, and remember to Save A Pretzel For The Gas Jets - it's a slogan for the new millineum!

Rick Perry certainly talks a good game but he's got some stiff competition. Mitt Romney for instance, can spout of gobble gook as well as nay and better than most! Take a look -

Wow - compared to him Michelle Bachmann sounds jsut plain retared!

That chick must've done some real bad drugs in her day, cause she's makin' less sense than the bastard offspring of George W Bush and Miss South Carolina!

Bad lip reading comes naturally to some people like such as the lovely Ms SC! Hey, maybe she should run for Pres! She makes about as much sense as any of them so far. When it comes to not making sense the Democrats are still a force to be reckoned with. That's because they're headed by the man who's shown you that change erally means more of the same. He's the Master of Disaster and the Lord high Mayor of Mayhem, none other than Barack Obama, and here he is to trick the bridesmaid!

When it comes to verbal diarrhea celebs can match pro politicos any day of the week. Let's take a look at "alleged" country singer Taylor Swift while she "goes off like a dumb girl"!

So I guess that the point is that it's time to stand up and be counted - because some do the Olympics and some defy the titans. Which you are depends on what kind of wondertrash you're made out of!

Wonder Woman Love

living in the twilight zone!

2011-10-23T16:17:00.005-03:00

From Russia - fuck off!

Robert Downey Jr. recently made an emotional public appeal on behalf of beleaguered superstar Mel Gibson. In Downey’s words Gibson has “hugged the cactus long enough”. In Gibson’s case he not only hugged the cactus, but took it to bed and tried to screw it! On a personal level, the fall of the Iron Curtain was a catastrophe for Mr Gibson. However it might have been much worse. Had Glasnost not prevailed in ruining the society it was supposed to preserve, then Oksana Grigorieva might’ve fucked her way to the top of the Communist food chain. She would then have been in a position to wreck havoc on the entire world as some polit bureau big shot’s psychotic mistress:

A member of the Vodka Cabinet

“Go on and push the button like a man, or I’ll never sleep with you again. Besides I’ve made tape recordings of your many treasonous statements which I will release to your enemies unless you prove you’re a man for me by starting World War 3!”

“But I can’t! No one member of the inner circle can push the button. Each member has a key, and the launch sequence requires all the keys!”

“Excuses is all I ever get from you! If you were any kind of a real man then you would find a way!”

“My God this bitch is crazy but what can I do? She’s even hidden the key to the vodka cabinet so I can’t think this situation through clearly. It’s so bad that I spend the nights alone in the kitchen with the lights off, trying to squeeze the juice out of potatoes!”

Johnny English neat with no chaser

Fortunately Oksana never got to join the Vodka Cabinet, not even as some power jockey’s dangerously psychotic fuck. Had she then James Bond might not have stopped her. Especially with those hokey scripts that were getting written just prior to Daniel Craig revitalizing the franchise! They were the usual campy productions, only worse, and featured dialogue like such as:

“What’s this Q? Is safe sex the new MI5 policy? Politically erect you might say.”

“Don’t be trite 007. The outside of this condom is coated with truth serum - just in case you need to pump some one for information!”

That lead up to:

“So tell me Ms. Cunnitwat, what is Dr. Goatee’s plan for world domination. Remember you have to tell the truth because my condom is coated with truth serum - but why am I telling you this? Oh damn it, I put the thing on inside out!”

Evil is a fearful master, a dangerous servant, and the source of much bad entertainment!

Give 007 a break on the condoms. He’s not used to using them. However such a scenario just proves how useless he might have been against Oksana. In fact he was since the poor man - as Timothy Dalton - was involved with her for awhile! As for the Bond series, for a while it was endanger of becoming as bad as that family based sit com that was planned, several years ago, for Roseanne Barr and Sam Kinnison! Dr. Goatee did have an excellent side kick henchman though, in the form of a freakish heavy named Mr. Thug. Thug was the mutant offspring of a long line of genetically engineered clones bred to serve evil. Though the script bombed, Thug eventually did find employment with Dick Cheney!

So things might have worked out very differently. Then again, if things were different they wouldn’t be the same. Like if Homer Simpson had been trying to write “Disco Dude” on his jacket instead of “Disco Stud” then Disco Stu would be Disco Dud. Think about it!

Matinee at the Bijou

Makes you stop and think doesn’t it? Like the way Tony Curtis got into the movies. He stumbled into the business when the Bowery Boys chased him into a local theater. Back then he was Bernie Schwartz and the boys would chase him through the streets trying to catch him and beat him up. The local theater was a perfect hideout because they’d show 5 features back to back for 11 cents admission. So the Boys couldn’t follow him in because it was the Depression and they couldn’t come up with 11 cents between them. 6 cents was as close as they could come, not including Snatch’s wooden nickle - which only made Slip curse him as a “maroon” and beat him mercilessly over the head with his cap! The point is that you never know where life is gonna take you, so hang in there, Mel. Right now it’s gonna take you to the theater, with our Wondertrash Goes to the Movies weekend feature. So sit back and enjoy the following public domain offering!

More Lindsay in cuffs

2011-10-21T17:05:00.001-03:00

Now this was a long time coming, so enjoy it one more time.

Oh yeah and Aussie model Megan Gale who was almost Wonder Woman in the movie that never got made was spotted out in public with her new boyfriend. This is news because she was keeping him under wraps for awhile. So much so that some were speculating that he might be invisible, or an imaginary boyfriend - like the unpopular girls in high school used to have. Well Meggers guy is flesh and blood, and gorgeous. He's Shaun Hampson and plays foot ball or something. So her ex Andy Lee better make sure that the split stays "amicable" like he claims - even though Meggers has been getting a lot of blow back in the Down Under Media for some reason - her ex's profession being merely coincidental 'cause I'm sure he wouldn't go spreading shit around about her while getting her to agree to a classy split - no not Andy; or he could be getting some free dental work!

Now here's a special music video dedication for Ms. Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan Taken Into Custody held on six-figure bail, handcuffed

2011-10-19T15:59:00.009-03:00

Looks like the long arm of the law has finally caught up with Lindsay Lohan. Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner revoked Lindsay Lohan's probation at a hearing Wednesday. Lohan was taken into custody after Sautner ruled that she was in violation of her probation by getting kicked out of a community service assignment. Lindsay is being held on 100 000 bail, and will have to work about 16 hours a week at a morgue as part of a new community service deal, until her next hearing in Novemeber. Meantime Lohan was carted off in handcuffs to jail.

In other news Shania Twain's stalker Dr. Giovanni (John) Palumbo will be held without bail. Palumbo was being tried on criminal harassment and to breaching a court order. Palumbo didn't take the verdict very kindly, and told the court "You're all very sick. Very sick. All of you. Have fun. I know I'm going to. You know why? I care about the creator, the true creator. All of you, I can see none of you do. You're not going to make me schizophrenic, you're not going to make me crazy. What a bunch of psychopaths."

Twain testified she had received letters from Palumbo in 2009 in which he professed his love for her. She said that she often received such correspondence from small children, but not adult men, and grew nervous upon receipt of the letters.

Palumbo, 51, was jailed on March 27 after he was arrested at Toronto's Air Canada Centre during an appearance by Twain at the Juno Awards. He also tried to get close to Twain at her Muskoka cottage and attempted to attend her mother's funeral.

Of course Shania only has herself to blame. She shouldn't have been sending that poor man secret love messages coded into her songs! She should've realized that the poor man wouldn't know how to take, and then go spoil the fun by stalking. That Shania always was a mean little tease!

Kelsey Grammer: Camille “Married Me Because I Was Frasier”

2011-10-18T15:25:00.004-03:00

Pulling off the right balance between cynical and naive

Kelsey Grammer has some strong words about ex wife Camille. According to Kelsey Camille only wanted him because he was, or used to be, Frasier on TV. So he went on Piers Morgan to let the world know about it. Now he didn't exactly call her a heartless gold digging bitch, or not in some many words. He certainly let a lot for the audience to infer. The difference between imply and infer is a wink, or in other words - "I didn't mean that, but you know how to take a hint; so draw your own conclusions if you know what to make of it - nudge, nudge, wink, wink!" It's the kindly of heavily nuanced alleged wordplay that can keep you out of the libel courts!

Here's a short excerpt from that interview.

Frasier wasn't the only one with some strong words to share with the public. When Robert Ironman Downey had top pick up one of those celebrities are always getting he requested that Mel be the one to present it. Then he gave a lengthy pro Mel speech. While not as 'heavily nuanced as Kelsey's anti wife rant, it did come off as brave and from the heart, or as close as you can't get to that in "the wrong industry".

Seek- Locate- Destroy

2011-10-16T16:47:00.005-03:00

Welcome back to sci fi Weekends!

it's hard to negotiate with an enemy when your existence is illegal

You don't need to justify your existence but your presence is another matter - survival is an act of rebellion!

Kinderdammerung!

2011-10-15T17:52:00.003-03:00

I’m risking fatwah just by bringing you the following story!

There’s more to life than celebrity gossip, like conspiracies and other irrational fears. Ever since the Underwear Bomber snuck on board an international flight with a rocket on his pocket America has become painfully aware of how low radical Jihadist will go to inflict their religious fanaticism on the west. That has lead to a painful era of TSA crotch grabs. So ordinary Americans have been subjected to invasive security checks as airport officials rolled up their sleeves and got their hands dirty by go up close and personal right up to the elbows. Some of us had nothing to worry about. In our cases it’s painfully obvious that there’s nothing explosive or dangerous in our underwear. Joe Blow, on the other hand, got quietly outraged as government minions probed their wives’ and daughters’ nether regions just in case they might be packing more than God gave them. The friendly skies are getting friendlier and no one is happy about it. However reasonable people realize that when some one is willing to pack their underpants with high explosives to make a point then anything is possible.

little terrors are holy terrors!

It seems that radical Moslem extremists will go to any lengths in their on going war against the West and our freedoms which they hate so much. That brings me to the latest terror threat - exploding baby bombs! It’s getting harder and harder to sneak the usual weapons of mass destruction, like such as box cutters and carpet knives, through the tightened airport security (one extreme jihadist did manage to get an Emory board through, and threatened to file a stewardess’ nails down to the cuticles; but the plane landed before he could make good on the threat). However don’t underestimate Jihadists’ intelligence. It was only a matter of time before they found a way to penetrate our security. There latest tactic is something insidious and aimed to take advantage of Americans’ trusting nature. It seems that the Muslim terrorists are now planning to load babies with explosives in order to sneak them past airport security checkpoints!

Women and children still pose the greatest threat to democracy!

The average baby’s diaper has enough extra space to carry sufficient plastic explosive to bring down a 767! It’s also the perfect hiding place. No TSA official, now matter how depraved, is gonna stick their hot little hand down a bulging baby diaper to find out what’s really in there. Anyone far gone enough to try can easily be put off by the protests of an outraged Muslim mother. “First you want me to take off my hejab, now you want to look in my baby’s diaper! How far must you go to humiliate our Arab honour? This is worse than Guantanamo Bay!” Invoking the images of humiliated terrorists stripped down and wearing women’s panties, but in the innocent baby context, is enough to make even the most hardened official back down as they contemplate the possible PR backlash, and career repercussions.

you can’t always count on a dirty diaper saving the day!

There have already been a number of stand offs that haven’t made the news. For instance one young Arab woman, wielding her baby bomb, recently held Homeland Security officials at bay for hours as she threatened to detonate her child in the middle of a crowded airport. Pleas to put the baby down and remove her hejab were ignored. Homeland Security personnel eventually had to run for cover as the woman lit the fuse, cunningly disguised as a dangling umbilical cord! A major crisis was fortunately avoided when the bomb fizzled, due to an unchanged, wet diaper.

You can never be too clean when there’s a dirty job to do!

The stunt was a dud, but the point is that it could have worked. A little more attention to hygiene and we might have wound up hearing about it on CNN! The terrorists know this to. So they are now arming the Islamic Mothers of Darkness with wet wipes, baby powder, and spare disposable diapers for trans oceanic plane trips. This way they can keep their little terrors dry and ready to go, should the occasion call for the ultimate sacrifice. Plus it helps keep the youngsters smelling relatively fresh! It’s their ability to adapt by learning from their mistakes that makes Al Qaeda so dangerous!

Booby traps and breast bombardment

Al Qaeda has an even moire dangerous characteristics, a knowledge of their enemies’ weaknesses & the ability to think big. They know that Americans are hopelessly sentimental about children. So they are no amassing a small army of “baby bombs” and are ready to deploy them on the West! To that end babies from the Mid East are recruited, and then indoctrinated with Koran readings and round the clock viewing of old Osama bin Laden tapes - dubbed over with the voice of Barney the Dinosaur. They are told that it is their honour to die for the faith. Plus they are further encouraged with the promise of 72 virgins waiting for each and every baby martyr once they reach Islamic heaven. Though adults might wonder what interest babies might have in nubile young virgins, the youngsters are quite excited by the prospect of round the clock breast feeding in paradise!

What to do with those little brats!

That leaves Homeland Security and their subsidiary organization, the TSA, with a problem. They are reluctant to go diving into to babies diapers. Apart from the possible PR backlash, there is the even more disturbing possibly of the diaper bulge not being explosives, but what nature intended. Americans will make many sacrifices for their country, such as their personal freedoms, responsible government, the truth, etc; but they don’t like getting their hands dirty! Putting all babies on an across the board no fly list was also discussed, and with some enthusiasm. That idea was eventually discarded due to the massive inconvenience to non terrorist air travellers. Finally a more strategic approach was hit upon. We could disarm the baby bomb army by exporting our cultural values to the Arab World.

Spreading viruses of liberty!

So Homeland Security now has a broad and far reaching plan to turn Islamic children into the same kind of disobedient and belligerent brats we’ve become accustomed to here in the West. Through a United Nations front organization highly processed junk food will be distributed to children through out the Middle East. Celebrities such as the socially conscious Angelina Jolie have been recruited to hand out chocolate bars and Big Mac’s to school children throughout the Terror Zone. Arab women will also be encouraged to park their kids in day care. This will not only give Arab women more time to become discontent and politically active, but break the important mother infant bond! It’s hard for a mother to convince a child to carry high explosives in their underwear when the child sees the mother so seldom that they scarcely know who she is! Also Arab youth will be bombarded with American reality TV and entertainment gossip magazines to make them confused and apathetic. After that they will be softened up for Project Ritalin! Then comes Operation Planned Parenthood!

Keep you eyes open for suspicious bulges - Paranoia is only common sense run amok!

The good news is that this plan should work in the Middle East just like it has here, in about 10 to 15 years. In the meantime the world will have to deal with a generation of tiny terrors as they wait for the next generation of tattooed & body pierced delinquent to take over. So we have to be cautious. That requires some basic common sense. For one thing is you see an Arab baby resist the urge to pick it up or tickle it under the chin. A quick jerk on the umbilical cord, or a push on the belly button, from the mother, might set the child off like a 4rth of July fireworks spectacular! Also if you see a child with saggy diapers, but who smells unusually fresh, then phone Homeland Security right away. The nose knows! You’ll not only be saving your own life, but the lives of everyone around you, and saving the infant from breast feeding bombardment in Moslem Heaven from eager virgins anxious to avoid more onerous duties! Finally, be sure to check suspicious looking babies for signs that the have been drugged or otherwise mind controlled. They might be mini Manchurian Candidates! There is the disturbing possibility that this may be some kind of CIA false flag trick to step up public paranoia as a pretense to curb more of those American Freedoms that we are so proud of! I hate to sound like some kind of tin foil hatter, but in these times you can’t be too vigilant!

Coming soon: Oh shit! the colostomy bags of doom.

Something pedantic - because a mind is a terrible thing to waste, and brain washing can be a dirty job!

PS We’ve been doing some brainwashing stories on Wondertrash lately. Mostly of the Monarch Mind Control variety. The idea is that most celebrities have been subjected to MK Ultra type mental programming (usually through their drama school exercises which involve visualization techniques very similar to the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola - so what does that tell you about the Illuminati connection!) that has turned them into drug tripping party over drive burn outs that flip out. Naturally that has lead to some strange letters, like the following.

Dear Wondertrash:

I need your advice. One of our tenets killed themselves lately. That leaves me with the problem of how to get their brains out of the carpet. Do you know what gets grey matter out of shag rugs. I’ve heard the club soda works. Love your blog.

Yours sincerely
Brainwasher

Let me be clear, I am not an expert on brainwashing. Just a highly experienced subject! Besides that’s a different kind of brainwashing. In fact you’re not really washing brains, you’re washing rugs. Maybe you could just replace the rug. Please keep those letters coming! Yours might be the next to get posted!

& now a word from our sponsors -

Larry Hagman Is Battling Cancer

2011-10-14T20:13:00.000-03:00

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Sleeping Giants & Ticklish Heracles

2011-10-13T14:05:00.005-03:00

James Reston wrote in The New York Times (July 7, 1957):
A health director . . . reported this week that a small mouse, which presumably had been
watching television, attacked a little girl and her full-grown cat .... Both mouse and cat survived,
and the incident is recorded here as a reminder that things seem to be changing.

I know people, who eavesdrop on other people!

Autumn is upon us and the new TV season has begun with a vengeance. New TV season is usually a build up to some pretty poor offerings. So if you’re complaining about how bad everything is just remember that it could’ve been worse. A Wondertrash operative recently over heard the following conversation at a Starbucks somewhere in the Thirty Mile Zone:

Writer: I’m really excited about my new project.

Friend: What is it?

Writer: It’s a script for a TV series called “Ticklish Heracles”!

Friend: “Ticklish Heracles”? What’s it about?

Writer: It’s like regular Heracles except he’s extremely ticklish. So everything becomes a build up for him getting tickled and laughing boisterously!

Friend: That’s not a great idea. In fact it’s a really, really awful idea!

Writer: You’re right. I guess it is more of a Saturday Night Live skit.

It only hurts when I laugh

Now the friend might’ve been a bit harsh. It is a nice send up parody of the usual TV action “Don’t push my buttons” formula used in series like the Incredible Hulk & Kung Fu. Don’t make Ticklish Heracles angry because you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry, unless you’re making him angry by tickling him! Plus it effectively writes the laugh track right into the action. So this is what the TV industry refers to as “groundbreaking” & “innovative”.

Julia Voth with the Golden Ass

Also I hear that Canadian hottie Julia Voth had been tentatively cast as the female lead - Heracles’ chick. So the viewers had lots of scenes of toga clad Julia being tied to pillars to look forward to. “Heracles help me!”, “I can’t - HA HA HA - They’re tickling me! HA HA HA!” It’s a little like The Golden Ass on drugs & the idea is clearly not ready for prime time - although prime time is catching up with a vengeance! For an indication of just how fast they’re catching up, take a look at some of the exciting offerings that the TV industry has in store for us the season!

Sorry, wrong year.

wrong again - it does kinda bleed together don't it? Here's the current stuff!

Ho ho ho Jolly Green Giant

TV isn’t so much as sleeping giant as a comatose and possibly brain damaged one! Maybe Ticklish Heracles is starting to look a little better! Don’t worry because you might actually being seeing him turn up on Saturday Night Live soon. Now I’m not saying that the SNL people read this blog; just hat they’re desperate for ideas. The downside is that if he does turn up in that venue it will be without the lovely Ms. Voth in toga bondage to sell the idea. In the meantime we still have sports and reality TV to distract (rather than entertain) us. Failing that turn to drugs! They’re less brain damaging!

Year of the Bunny

2011-10-11T20:41:00.003-03:00

Image via Wikipedia

Bunnies are a big deal. Ever since they invaded the island continent of Australia people realized they needed watching. Of course many already figured that out from watching they mayhem these warm cuddly creatures regularly created in Saturday morning children’s cartoons. It seemed like they were constantly thwarting attempts to murder them, often with the use of mallets, high explosives, and even spring loaded boxing gloves - often provided by ACME Inc., probably free in exchange for product placement.

It was only a matter of time before these menaces found their way into popular culture - a wasteland that like the Australian Outback is tailor made for them. Hugh Hefner introduced the bunny to the world back in the 60's through his chain of fetish cocktail clubs. There hard up unfaithful swingers could be waited on by attractive young women in rabbit costumes - floppy ears, fuzzy tail, etc. I even hear that the original costume featured oversized plastic “Bugs Bunny” teeth, which were quickly phased out - possibly following some injuries.

Hefner’s strain of Playboy Bunny proved even more popular than the cartoon breed. Soon we were up to our ear holes in grinning, bulging young varmints who were on the make with a vengeance. They sported every charm plastic surgery, and Hef’s substantial check book, could provide, up to and including over bites of buck toothed cartoon rabbit proportions! Hef made a good living marketing human bunnies for public consumption. The trouble started when these things began getting loose and roaming at large - free range bunnies began making trouble!

The first one to really get in the public eye was Anna Nicole “Big Bunny” Smith. Once she got a taste of the Golden Carrot she decided she liked it, and went on pursuing it with a vengeance that Bugs might envy! She left no stone unturned - plastic surgery, mercenary marriage, and even videoed herself giving birth to daughter Dannilynn so that the footage could be marketed! Anna eventually came to grieve, but not before she made a major mess out of her own live, the lives of her family and acquaintances, not to mention the Marshal clan - that;’s the family of the 90 something oil billionaire she married for true love back in the 90's. Hey, it was the Clinton era!

Now people should’ve learned their lesson from ANS, and started treating these fluffy fearsome creatures with as much trepidation as the Monty Python Knights faced that killer rabbit in Holy Grail! Unfortunately the beast was loose - and the Aussie can tell you how hard those mangy critters are to handle once they get a foothold. Anyhow there was a five hundred channel universe for them to roam free in now. In fact there was far more air space than there was content to fill it. That’s why they invented Reality TV. So it seemed like there couldn’t be too much harm done by these friendly menaces. Soon bunnies were popping up everywhere, in The Bunnies Next Door Playboy reality TV show, as Gene Simmons sig other in Family Jewels, in the form of Gene Simmons sig other Shannon Tweed, and even in the news if you count the local weather slut or Katie Curic on the Evening News! Tom Cruise even tossed his long time partner Nicole Kidman for creepy bunny Katie Holmes. Australia knows no respite from these beasts!

With the rise of Britney Spears & Scarlett Johansson it looked that bunnies had not only gone mainstream but were about to gain a credibility that they had heretofore not enjoyed. It was only when a rare breed of Alaskan Killer Bunny, named Sarah Palin, started to invade America’s capitol, & even beginning to encroach within the belt way, that the public started to become fully conscious of the threat. Bearing a relentless smile, Sarah gnawed away on the collective mind of her country like some rogue bunny working it’s fearsome choppers through a cabbage patch! It was touch and go for awhile, and even David Letterman had about as much luck dealing with her as Elmer Fudd. Eventually the Alaskan Killer Bunny was deflected into the realms of reality TV and the tabloids - where she burned herself out. Another critter nearly invaded the White House by attaching herself to pres Candidate John “Pretty Boy” Edwards. However she was an extremely destructive version; ruining Edwards character, marriage, and career before he could get her anywhere near the Nation’s # 1 position. It worked out like a virus destroying it’s host! However It was a close call.

So where does that leave bunnies in the future? By now they’ve left such a track wreckord - in the form of the usual trail of wreckage, that the public should be well aware of the threat posed! However there still seems to be a place for these worthless destructive creatures. Word has it that Charlie’s Angels is rebooting, and going back to what was the original title and premise of the 1st series. Produces say that they are adding much more jiggle and fluff to the series, and plan to rename it “Bunny Squad”.Producers claim they were inspired by the small Southern town that announced plans to give the local Sherif’s dept. a public image make over by hiring Hooter’s girls as officers. Citing that “It worked for Hooters”, the sherif claimed that public attitudes towards law enforcement might improve if officers were perceived as more friendly and attractive! He also claimed that there was some enthusiastic support for the proposal, though only from small town criminals - “Are you gonna take me away officer?” “I might have to cuff and taser you too!” “Then the day only gets better. Lead on Sgt Pepper!“ ”Oh she’s Pepper. I’m Salty!” “Hallalujah!” As it turned out the whole report, that started the Charlie’s Angels reboot, was an article in The Onion - a herb so refreshingly toxic that even bunnies avoid it! - but by then the damage was done. Once it gets started it’s hard to stop. For instance I hear that David E Kelley is trying to get his Wonder Woman pilot redone in a new fluff and jiggle format tentatively titled Wonder Bunny! Just don’t get your carrot stuck in the Magic Lasso of Truth!

The Goodies: The Goodies vs the Moon Bunnies

Watch Invasion of the Moon Creatures - The Goodies in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell’s Star-Studded Wedding Reception (VIDEO)

2011-10-10T20:57:00.003-03:00

Sir Paul McCartney has gotten married, again, to Nancy Shevell. So hopefully thrid times the charm and this arrangement will work out better than his previous hook up to Shit Hag. Since Sir Paul is a big deal there were cameras everywhere. As a result the festivities got caught on tape and u0ploaded to the net. Here's a peep.

Things may be looking up for Sir Paul but it's more of the same for disgrace golfer Tiger Woods. Woods used to be the best in the world. That's before he got caught cheating with hordes of slutty women. Then his wife didn't hit him with a golf club after finding a bunch of sext messages on his cell while the Tiger dozed happily on his usual nightly Ambien overdose. incidentally Ambien will make you horney so if you got a touch of John Kennedy Syndrome then stay off the stuff or you'll be crankin' your wang like Glenn Quagmire!

Anyhow what with not being beaten senseless by his wife - and that's his official story, and being humiliated in front of the world by his array of 'goddess' - that might make Charlie Tiger's Blood Sheen envious - Tiger got nervous and lost his touch. Nowadays the former ace couldn't hit the broad side of a bordello with a bazooka. He has become the but of fan mockery, as the following short video clip shows. PS no wieners were harmed in the filming of this viddy. The were long dead and processed into zombie meat before they ever got anywhere near the camera.

EX-WEEZER BASSIST MIKEY WELSH DEAD AT 40

2011-10-09T19:57:00.000-03:00

Ewan McGregor Talks About Love

2011-10-05T16:43:00.003-03:00

Strictly speaking

What does Ewan Mcgregor know about love? Well enough to star in a new film that he describes as very romantic. He even goes so far asd to admit falling in love with his co star "on paper, in the script". Wow - what a madman! Anyway he also knows enough to fill up a brief interview - about 2 minutes. But be warned, the interview isn't about love, that's what the film is about. The interview is to promote the flick. So the interview is about love in as much as it's about a movie about love. In other words it's strictly business.

That love talk may have come off a little tame even by the standards of Brit romance, but here's some one who's never afraid to speak there mind, even if what they have to share comes in four letter words. The some one is Deena, from Jersey Shore, and she recently got hot and bother while out clubbing. She got so hot and bothered that she shot from the lip, and called some one a "scumbag". Now that's the kind of fiery passion you just don't find in dreary Brit romances (they really should stick to comedy). Now here's the video so you can see it for yourselves!

video platform video management video solutions video player

Actually I think she stood up to a scumbag, but I stopped paying attention to that jersey Shore bunch awhile ago. I also stopped paying attention to the while Twilight phenomenon. In fact the only way Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattison could be interesting is if they came out and announced they were dating each other, or appearing on Dancing with the Stars (give it time, they'll get there). Either that or get themselves tossed into rehab (and according to some of RPat's interviews, where he opens up about a serious problem with moderate drinking, he could be on the way!). Some people seem to still find them interesting cause they did manage to fill up a room while promoting their new Breaking Dawn flick. Of course most of those attendees were entertainment journalists. It was their job to be there, plus they were lured in with complimentary food, drink, and other assorted freebees! Here's how that went.

Speaking of Dancing With the Stars, there's been some kind of shocker or something. It's not Chaz Bono getting disqualified, cause that would only happen in the Olympics. It's yet another thing that many have stopped paying attention to except for those paid to pay attention, like Wendy Williams. She also has an update on Kanye West's latest outburst. KWest recently debuted his latest fashion line and the critics were less than complimentary, which is their job. Now Kanye can get worked up when he gets crossed. So here's a clip from the WW Show to give you the low down on that.

Robert Pattinson Defends Glamour's Sexiest Man Of The Year Title

2011-10-04T17:33:00.000-03:00

Wonder Woman Love