Rachel Uchitel: Natural beauty or world's largest cubic zirconia?
Life is full of tests. Some might seem a little "challenged" at first glance; like Rachel Uchitel. However when it comes to tests, some make up for it on their orals! Now for those asking "Who the fuck is Rachel Uchitel?", then might I answer "It's clear that you've got better things to do". I can add that this was the one that blew - maybe literally but let's say only figuratively - Tiger Woods out of the water. That was back in the days when Tiger Woods was almost perfect or something. Like Achilles he had his heel, and if there's anything Uchitel knows about it's heels! Before you knew it Tiger's Swedish Sweetie was hopping mad and folks were reading about it on the gossip sights. Tiger took a little while to get his nerve back and has only recently started winning golf games again.Uchitel has had a busy time since then. In fact her dance card's been booked tighter than Alexandre Dupree - remember her (she's the one who brought down Elliot Spitzer, who nowadays can't even find regular employment on cable news though once upon a time he was Gov of NY)? She's made some attempted forays into the heady world of reality TV. She also got involved with celebrity shyster Gloria Allred (& she'd sue me for that if she knew who the fuck I am!). By got involved I mean she hired Allred to get her some money and wound up trying to get some money out of Allred when she thought that Gloria had sold her out by convincing her to take a deal. See what we mean here when we talk about "back stabbing- infighting" etc. Just another day on the school yard - only Shakespeare with his alleged "angelic wit" and his confirmed weakish spelling ever envisioned the world as a stage!
That bag's life had had more ups and downs than a B movie ingenue -and it's had it's ins and outs too. Those ins and outs bring us to the very latest Uchitel story. Seems that her hole works both ways! By that I mean she's got herself all knocked up (belief it or not it's more than some of her kind are capable of!). Some of you might be doing double takes over that kind of news. 1st the ironically named "Christopher" Hitchens gives up the ghost in time for Christmas - now this slut goes and shoots the shit out of the Evolution Theory! So it's a bad time for ats all over. Lest you doubt me, here's a picture of Ms. Uchitel that proves her reproductive organs actually do extend above the cervix - so see then for yourselves!
Yet another Daily FAIL
Wasn't that heartwarming, what with her decked out like a candy cane in time for Christmas? The bitch looks totally busted, but seems not too know it; which makes her look even more totally busted! BTW her hubby is Matt Hahn - that's the guy there in the shot who doesn't know how far up his own ass he stuck his head by marrying Ms Uchitel! Now here comes the really good part. Ms Uchitel only found out that she was in the family way when she auditioned for The Amazing Race. As part of the auditioning process she had to take a drug test. No fucking kidding - reality TV ain't anything you can memorize lines for so high school was right for teachin' you to cheat! Anyhow the test come back positive for pregnancy!BTW I can not confirm that Rachel Uchitel shares a plastic surgeon with German actress Xenia Seeberg, only that there is a strong "family resemblance".
