When it rains it pours in the Lohan Family. Lindsay is busted and naked - that is here probation got revoked so now she's posing nude in Playboy. She's going full on frontal for 1 million, and was offered another million for her vagina, but turned it down since her younger sister was gonna be sitting in on the shoots and Lindz wanted to keep everything within family values parameters - Lohan standards anyway.Now her felonious father Michael has got himself busted again! Now if you'll recall Mikey tends to get in trouble with the law from time to time. It has something to do with his volatile Irish tempers, and the assortment of sluts he hangs around with. The last case was with tabloid vixen Kate Major. She worked with the Star until she fell in love with Jon Gosselin and then dumped him for Lohan. Well sooner or later push came to shove. Push 'n' shove in that case meant - according to Kate, that Mikey came home tanked up and pushed her out of a chair and unto the floor. He frightened her so bad that she had top call the cops and have him charged with domestic battery assault, or some such charge. Now this was serious cause Kate don't frighten easy. She's seen Jon Gosselin naked for one thing!
That's old news since the chair flipping incident occurred several months/couple of years back, while they were still together and just as one of Mikey's many probation sentences was running out. There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then, but some things never change. Like Michael. With his daughter's misfortunes still fresh in the tabloid headlines Mikey has once more gotten himself into hot water and once again it was over trashy cutie Kate Major ("the crowd is for you juicy waitress!"). Seems that Lohan was trying to confront his estranged ex when things got out of hand. Then they got stuck in a tree. Sounds like the sort of trouble only a Lohan can get into! Just take a look at the following short video for the dirty details!
After reading such stories you might find yourself asking "what the fuck is wrong with these people?" Well the answer is, to paraphrases the words of Charlie Sheen - the Warlock, they're special. That's why you can't process them with a normal brain. In fact they are so special that some believe celebs are actually reptoids, or reptilians. If you follow the conspiracy beat then you know that reptoids are a separate species that disguise themselves using holograms so that they can walk unseen amongst us, sabotage our economy, poison our minds with reality TV, and spike our children's milk with vaccine serums. They are the descendents of the dinosaurs who went under ground after the asteroid hit 65 million years ago, and have been trying to regain the planet from the primates ever since. It's kind of what HG Wells was hinting at with the Morlocks and the Elohim in The Time Machine. AS a card carrying member of the Illuminati Wells was privy to these secrets, which are generally with held from the rest of us.
If you don't follow the conspiracy beat and want to find out more about these creatures then take a look at the following short but informative video!
