Duanne Dog Chapman gets results. He also pisses people off. In this case the result was felonious drug fugitive Andrew Distel, 29. In the process he pissed off a local Sherif Lobo, Stan Hikley. Hikley claims that Dog dropped of a prisoner at his jail in a sorry state, and with a lack of professionalism that you wouldn’t accept from a pizza delivery boy!
crime time
Andrew Distel was on the run and living a life of crime around the Mesa, California area when justice, in the form of Dog the Bounty Hunter, caught up with him. Andy had been a busy boy, and keeping in trouble by jacking cars in his spare time. When he wasn’t frightening citizens he liked to hang around local hotels. That’s where Dog picked up his scent.
hot peppers and a dilly of a pickle
Dog and his crew confronted Distel in the lobby of a local establishment, and then gave him two options. The easy way or the hard way. Some like it hot and hot is what Andy got. When the fugitive resisted arrest Dog unleashed a volley of pepper spray on the poor wretch. After dosing him up like a hot tamale, Dog then cuffed him, hosed him down, and delivered him to Hikley for due process. That’s where Hikley got hot under the collar.
a scene to bring tears to your eyes
According to Sherif Stan, Dog dropped the special delivery package off at his jail smelling like something you’d want to send back to your local Indian curry take out. The guy was shot full of so much cayenne and paprika that he registered several hundred thousand on the Scoville scale. Local sherif’s dept officials were so busy wiping the tears out of their eyes that they had trouble booking the man. Hikley said that Distel smelled so bad no one wanted to touch him.
prime time crime
Now Hikley has a bone to pick with Dog. He claims that Dog is much more interested in grandstanding for ratings than in responsible law enforcement. Says Hikley “I get it, you have a show to produce and shows need drama.” So that leads to “profit driven peacockery!” He also claims that Dog was doing a lot of “prancing around” with his shirt off and waving around his thinning blond mullet for the benefit of the camera crew that follows him everywhere.
Justice is served a hot mess - what’ya gonna do, send it back?
Dog, on the other hand, says that he helped get a dangerous offender off of the street. That’s the main thing. Also he was responsible. He hosed the hot mess off after seasoning him to perfection. Then he even wrapped a new shirt on him so he’d be fit for booking. So justice was served. It’s not his fault if justice was served a little too hot & spicey for small town tastes. Besides, celebrity law enforcement is about getting the job done in an entertaining way. That means you can’t worry about currying favour when you’re currying flavour! Revenge may be sweet and best served cold, but you take justice any way you get it! Plus, Distel’s scent is gonna be hard to miss for awhile!
