Paris says that she'll do whatever it takes to fix her image. Glad she's focused on the real problem. If she knew what she was saying, and meant it as sardonic humour, then everyone has radically underestimated that young woman! Of course if she knows what she's doing then she's a fucking genius. If Paris is famous for being famous then it's because the medium is the message. If Hilton has consciously applied that principle then she should be teaching a class in media studies! Hang in there, Paris baby!
As for Lohan wanting her career back - to whom much is given much is asked; and sometimes everything gets taken away. Fame and fortune are perilous, so stop being a sucker.
Now for the many many fans of Gary Bell & The View From Space, here's the latest broadcast!
Now here are some of those Emmy Award winners!
Drama Series: Mad Men Comedy Series: Modern Family
ACTING:
Lead Actor in a Drama Series: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Jane Lynch, Glee Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie: Claire Danes, Temple Grandin Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: David Strathairn, Temple Grandin Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie: Julia Ormond, Temple Grandin
DIRECTING:
Drama Series: Steve Shill, Dexter Comedy Series: Ryan Murphy, Glee Variety, Music or Comedy Special: Bucky Gunts, Vancouver 2010: XXI Olympic Winter Games Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Mick Jackson, Temple Grandin
WRITING:
Drama Series: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy, Mad Men Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd, Modern Family Variety, Music or Comedy Special: 63rd Annual Tony Awards Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Adam Mazer, You Don’t Know Jack
Made for Television Movie: Temple Grandin Miniseries: The Pacific Reality Competition Program: Top Chef Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily With Jon Stewart
And the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award went to George Clooney.
BTW Dexter's Michael C Hall was totally robbed! Let's face it - it takes an amazing actor to make an emotionally alienated serial murderer sympathetic and likable! Even John Lithgow didn't manage that during his time on the show.
Seems like Paris Hilton can't stay out of trouble for very long. Just last night she was put cruising on the Las Vegas Strip (and outside outside the Wynn Hotel) when she got pulled over by the cops. Las Vegas' finest observed what they thought was marijuana smoke coming out of the window of Hilton's black Escalande. Now since Hilton probably wasn't participating in a vote by the College of Cardinals - even online - the fuzz felt that they had could grounds to further investigate.
Further investigation revealed that Paris had cocaine on her. Not much cocaine, but just enough for her to be charged with a count of felony possession (class e). In case you're not a regular Law & Order viewer a felony is more serious than a misdemeanor. In fact it's a big league criminal charge! That lead to Paris and her new BFF Cy Waits to get booked into Clarke Country Jail.
Though the charges were serious, Paris skated only a few short hours later, on bail (thanks to lawyer David Chesnoff). She was busted at approximately 11:30 PM. By about 3;30 Am she was back home again and on Twitter. Now she made no Twitter mention of her recent misfortune. She just popped online long enough to tell everyone that she was home, getting ready for bed, and watching Family Guy. Oh yeah, and "xoxox, everyone" from Paris.
As for poor Cy, well he wasn't so fortunate. Even though he's the very man who helped Paris thwart a home invasion by a gun wielding intruder earlier in the week - he didn't get sprung along with Paris. Cy had to wallow in prison under a charge of driving while intoxicated. So whether or not crime pays, we can say that Paris is a poor person to stand next to when lightening strikes. Though she has an excellent raincoat, she doesn't provide much coverage to anyone else.
"the-drugs-weren't-mine" defense
BTW Paris already has a fantastic alibi that might even make an unlikely legal defense. The coke was found in her purse, and she claims that the purse isn't hers. This is the same defense she used earlier this year in South Africa, where she got busted for pot possession. Sources say the fact that she got released so quickly on bail is an indication of how seriously the prosecution is taking the case. The fact that her boyfriend de jour Cy Waits got held may indicate that he's being set up as fall guy - but who knows. The drugs were found in her purse, and she was the only woman in the car at the time of the bust. Paris however insists that she had just come from a night club where oodles of women, and their purses, were present. So maybe she grabbed up the wrong purse because she was too stoned to notice. Anyone would buy that if they were on a jury, right? Perhaps, if jury duty lowers your IQ by 15 points!
Also the above mugshot of Paris shows her looking as good as ever. Hopefully she will whether this storm as she has her others. The pressures of fame can take a lot out of you. Take Sarah Palin for instance. She's been America's heart throb ever since John McCain discovered her as a running mate via google search (Since then Sarah has moved up in the world, and onto Twitter! She always was an ambitious girl with an eye to her future!). Though she was an attractive lady at the time, her brush with fame has left her looking the worse for wear. Just take a look at this most recent Sarah Palin picture!
Of course she got herself prettied up for her big Tea Party Rally. On a totally unrelated note - for our Sunday Wondertrash matinee: here's an example of how movies can make anything look good, especially evil - with Triumph of the Will.
Levi Johnston seems serious about his mayoral run in Wasilla. That's promising since so far the guy has show a real lack of follow through! He knocked up Bristol Palin - soon to be seen on Dancing With the Stars - and went on to be a dead beat dad. Then he said alot of stuff about Sarah Palin, which he took back publicly. He even apologized to Sarah, but then he took that back claiming he'd been tricked into making it. Then he announced his engagement to Bristol. That went bust - much to Sarah Palin's relief - when word got out that he'd knocked up another gal. When the engagement went bust so did his plans for a reality TV series with Bristol. So the lad has had some real trouble making things stick.
more schemes and scams
When he announced his plans to run for office up in Alaska, people naturally assumed that this was some kind of lame publicity stunt. They also expected it to run it's course in about 15 minutes or so. That's the usual half life of a Levi Johnston scheme. However that lad is out and about trying to win the voters over.
bullet boy takes aim, sets sights on whatever
For instance Levi recently made a public appearance at a Wasilla gun store. Johnston showed up at Chimo Guns to meet and greet anyone silly enough to vote for him (don't count him out 'cause Alaskans did vote Palin in as governor). Naturally he showed up with a camera crew in tow - don't leave home without one. Levi does seem to have more than public service on his mind. He's taping his mayoral run for a reality TV series called 'Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor's Office'.
let's give 'em something to talk about
So how did this recent fiasco turn out? Well here's what TMZ employees had to say: "We're told Levi talked with some of the employees at the shop about hunting -- but according to our source, the political hopeful hasn't had any time to kill some Dall sheep [Levi's game of choice] ... probably because of the whole reality show thing."
So he's staying focused! Maybe his manager Tank Jones has something to do with that. The fellow seems to have an insane confidence in Johnston. Tank told Radaronline "People questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don't care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston. People can question whatever they want. I mean, he's going to keep on doing his thing. He was going to do this, even if this wasn't a reality show. If you live in a town and things are happening in that town, and you're displeased with it, what do you do? You try to change those things."
2 heads better than one, but 2 half wits don't add up to whole wittedness
So Levi is bigger than Jesus now. I don't know what Mr Tank is taking or even talking about, but by the sounds of him he better check himself into one of those rehabs fast. He already sounds like he's got some advanced brain damage going on. He can't rely on the '2 heads are better than 1' principle either, 'cause the other head in this belongs to Levi - a man who publicly admits to being out witted by Sarah Palin. So that would make this a case of 2 half wits failing to add up to whole wittedness. Never mind Levi. there's plenty of opportunities left. Octomom is broke and desperate - so there's got to be an in there for you! Besides, now that he's staying focused, the next step on the path to maturity might be developing a plan B. It's good to have a fall back position, in case his efforts to undermine democracy come up short.
Anna Nicole Smith's drug use is common knowledge these days. Back before her untimely death it was an open secret. Rumours of drug use hounded the model through out her career. Many of these rumours were fueled by her frequent drunken and drugged up appearances in public. Anna Nicole always adamantly denied drug use. In the following short video interview Smith addresses the question of drug use with a "Who me?" type response. The odd thing is - Smith was obviously stoned while giving the interview! Just look:
Celebrities have probably done more to discourage illicit drug use than a whole army of Nancy Reagans and Dr Lauras could ever hope to accomplish. Now if only they could discourage the alarming plastic surgery trend!
Wow - Sly Stallone's mom looks just like Carrot Top. More like Carrot Top than her own son even! Perhaps that resemblances is from using the same plastic surgeon. What possesses the stars to get these horrible things done to their faces? It can't be because they think it makes them more attractive. They would have to be beyond delusional, and into vision impairment, to believe that. Perhaps it's just another version of celebrity personality disorder - Let's get which often involves both attention seeking and addictive behavior. Let's get Larry King's opinion on the matter.
We can only hope that Carrot Top returns to his senses before he winds up looking like Lisa Rina!
Rock the Casbah
Celebrities are people who will go to any lengths to stand out. Naturally everyone likes to have their moment. However you shouldn't stick out like a sore thumb to get it. If you must stick out like a sore thumb then you might wind up like Khurram Syed. He was a contestant on Canadian Idol, where he failed to impress judges with his Avril Lavinge Complicated cover. He made an impression on the public though. He also made an impression on the RCMP when he got busted as a member of a homegrown terrorist ring. When picked up he and his cronies had the ingredients for explosives, and were still trying to figure out how to put them together. At least he didn't let his CI experiences discourage him, or he might never have gotten his 15 minutes of fame.
Now that might have been pretty bad, but just think about it - if Hitler had received more encouragement as a painter we might have avoided World War 2! At least Khurram didn't do classic "Rock the Casbah" for his Canadian Idol number.
BTW speaking of celebrity sore thumbs keep your eyes open for next week's issue of the Pulitzer nominated National Enquirer! It's their "Spill the beans on Oprah" issue!
It really hasn't been a good year for Michael Douglas. First his oldest son Cameron got busted in a major meth trafficking crack down. He got caught in a New York hotel trying to sell about 20 000 in drugs to an undercover cop. That lead to a court date that lead to even more trouble. Cameron's girlfriend tried to pass him heroin inside an electric toothbrush in open court. She got caught and that didn't do anything for young Cameron's case.
Naturally this preyed on Michael's mind. He'd attempted to straighten the kid out with the tough love approach. He had cut the kid off financially. As a Hollywood brat Cameron wasn't really qualified to do anything, except work in films or deal dope. Since Michael had put the kibosh on any film work it was down to dope dealing. So of course Michael felt personally responsible for his son's misfortune. Perhaps that's why the actor recently developed throat cancer.
While Michael was trying to deal with his son's incarceration and his own illness his ex wife Diandra came out of the wood work. Mike and Diandra had been married for about 23 years. They divorced about 10 years back when Michael got hooked up with Catherine Zeta Jones. The divorce was fairly amicable, with Mike and Diandra agreeing on a split up of everything that he'd earned while they were together. The fine print included any future earnings from projects he'd worked on during their time together. The fine print paid off for Diandra. She earned about 6 million last year out of that.
The fine print didn't work out do well for Mike. He's recently released Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. Since it's a Wall Street sequel and Mike did Wall Street while he was with Diandra, she thinks that she's entitled to a piece of the action. So her lawyers are suing Douglas for some of the proceeds.
Mike doesn't want to take this lying down. So he's had his lawyers contest this, and issue a public statement calling Diandra a greedy woman who won't let him live in peace. Diandra's people have responded, claiming in their own press release that it's exactly the opposite - not that Diandra isn't greedy, but that Michael isn't living up to his obligations.
So it's kind of ironic that this brouhaha has developed over a money film. It couldn't have happen at a worse time either, since Douglas really needs the peace and quiet to deal with his health, and family, issues. So what can you say, except money never sleeps, trouble never stops, and there's no rest for the weary.
Tiger Woods' multi million dollar divorce from Elin Nordgrin is a done deal. Now that was only a matter of time ever since Tiger's sleazy secret sex life became public. Gossipistas will recall that the Woods story came to light over the course of a wild and wacky weekend in which a text message meant for Tiger got intercepted by Elin. That resulted in one of America's shortest getaways, a battered and toothless Tiger sprawled semi conscious across the front lane, and Elin trying to explain to CHP's why she was holding a bloody golf club in her hand. Oh yeah and Tiger's mother in law had a minor heart attack and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, after passing out in the bathroom.
After that Tiger's world unraveled as slut after slut after slut came forward repeating the same story of pills, cheap sex in expensive hotels, and Tiger lying to Elin so he could keep on keeping on behind her back. Elin wound up looking almost as ridiculous as Sandra Bullock. So naturally the divorce talk started. Tiger's worth upwards from 1 billion, and Elin was in line for a good chunk of that change.
For awhile it looked like they might patch it up. Tiger astonishingly persisted in playing golf - though now very badly. Elin released a statement that the divorce was on hold pending his performance in the Master's tournament. Naturally he screwed that up, and the divorce was back on. The only question was how fast would they get it done.
Well word has come out to day that they have finally got it done, and even now the ink is drying on the divorce papers. Reports have Elin cashing in to the tune of 100 mill to 750 mill. Meanwhile Tiger's income has dropped by as much as 100 mill. He lost 35 mill in endorsements, plus the rest in anticipates tournament winnings. There's just no such thing as safe sex.
The last time we heard from Lily Allen she was threatening to retire from the music business - so much for promises. She was also blaming the Internet for ruining the music industry. She made known in a number of on line rants that she believed that free on line music downloading was preventing artists - such as herself - from earning a living off of their own music. The reason artists don't make money from their own music is because recording companies eat up the profits in dubious production costs. That's why most major acts, including the Rolling Stones - earn their bread & butter on the concert circuit. It's also why many bootleg recordings come from the artists themselves.
Lily might shoot from the lip, but she is capable of reassessing her opinions. For one thing she has finally realized the the Internet isn't her enemy. Lily has come out in another online rant and announced that she knows who's really responsible for the current state of the music industry - Simon Cowell. For one thing Lily thinks that Cowell has shifted the emphasis in the industry away from smart and original indie acts, or even performers like herself; and shifted towards amateurs doing karaoke style covers.
Allen has taken to twitter, and other electronic media previously believed to be the ruination of popular music as she's come to know and despise it - to publicly attack Cowell. For instance Lily tweeted "X factor - FAIL. Too set up/scripted in my humble opinion. I don't know how Simon Cowell has managed to get away with essentially copywriting (sic) the talent contest. It's beyond me, really." She also fielded questions from fans. In response to one the tweeted "It's s--t. FACT! It's everything that I detest about modern western culture. Cowell is the only one who really benefits. People like you EAT IT UP."
So what has gotten into Allen? Well her behavior is no more erratic and volatile than usual. However this might be something she picked up second hand from some one else. For one think Mick Hucknell expressed pretty much the same opinion about a year or so ago. In a very public interview Hucknell basically described Cowell as the JR Ewing (kids get your parents to explain to you who JR Ewing is - but in the meantime think George W Bush). So perhaps Allen thought that she could get herself some credit for being a thoughtful person by recycling previously expressed ideas (I do it daily here - though I've never gotten credit for thoughtfulness. 4 out 5 Tibetan Buddhists have described Wondertrash as mindless tripe, and warned the faithful that the time spent on this site is something that they'll never get back. Then again that's the nature of time and they shouldn't need to be reminded of that!). Goodness knows that Lily needs some help formulating ideas, as she no doubt does with writing her own music.
Now some people speculate that Allen has an ulterior motive for her Cowell bashing. For one thing people claim she's resentful about not being asked on X Factor as one of their celebrity judges. For another some insist she's jealous about celebrity enemies like Cheryl Cole being asked on. Allen is aware of this, and has addressed the issue in her usual calm & considered manner. Allen says, and I quote (hence the inclusion of quotation marks around Ms Allen's statements) "I'd rather actually eat my own crap, than sit next to any of those goons. Except Cheryl, obvs (obviously). I've better things to do with my time than feed the nation with the notion that doing cover versions will sort your life out." I'm glad she added the "actually" into that statement though I'm not sure what it proves, unless she was considering "virtually" eating her own crap and then decided that she actually felt more strongly about the issue.
Now Lily was never one to mince words, or ever leave anyone in doubt about what she really thinks. For instance in regards to the above mention Cole, Lily once said that the singer's husband was "horrendous". She also described Cole's bandmate Nicola Roberts as"the ugly one in the group". Of course that was said during a hi profile word wars between the dueling divas. If you're a regular Wondertrash reader then you know that a lot of shit gets said online.
So what does that say about Lily Allen. Well for one thing she knows how to get attention by shooting off her big fat mouth. She's like Megan Fox in that way; except much more obnoxious and a lot less entertaining. Of course it doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even a Tara Reid, to realize that if you publicly bash Cowell you're gonna get some easy media attention. He is kind of Mr Entertainment these days.
That leads to another theory as too why Allen is shooting off her big ignorant mouth in again. She must have some new project coming out, and needs to attract the spotlight in her direction. If that's true then the bad news is that the rumors about her leaving show business were exaggerated. That story had to be too good to be true. Besides, Allen isn't actually qualified, or even competent, to do anything else with herself (and that includes tweeting without gorss spelling and grammatical errors). Still the cheap grandstanding is unbecoming. Lily should try to put the issue in proportion - it's not Simon Cowell's fault is the public finds 70's & 80's amateur covers more interesting than anything she does. In fact maybe Cowell could come up with e few pointers for Allen to sharpen up her already tiresome routine.
Mischa Barton is out and about. In fact she was recently spotted at the Larchmont Bungalow in Los Angeles to have dinner with a friend of the male persuasion. What really got attention though was Mischa eccentric and downright whimsical fashion statement. The DailyMail has described it as Alice In Wonderland. I don't know how they explain the combat boots, 'cause that's sheer Beverly Hillbilly!
Now here's the answer to a question that's been bothering celebrities, and ordinary folk, for ages, perhaps even decades! The question is "Can we change, or are we doomed to be ourselves?" The answer is that change is possible, but it's very difficult. Even worse change involves a 5 point plan. The good news is that the plan is a series of over simplifications - you know like on Star Trek, where they'd overcome the greatest challenges by reversing the transporter beam, or linking the ship's sensors to the universal translator. Let's take a look at the following encouraging video about how you can become the person you've always wanted to be, or at least become some one new and different!
I hope that this doesn't involve regular exercise!
Wow - that sounds like hard work! In fact changing your personality sounds even harder than changing your diet; and you are what you eat! So maybe real change isn't possible - apart from the kind of self sacrifice that went out with Lent, but the good news is that you can change the way you look! It's good enough for celebrities, and 9 out of 10 cosmetic surgeons will say that it's totally worth the money. However I'd recommend that you make this sort of life altering alteration slowly, and by stages. Start with a fabulous make over, then move on to losing weight and changing your wardrobe. Then one day, when you're an Oprah Winfrey success story, you might be ready to go over board on the nips & tucks!
Miranda Kerr was rumored to be pregnant for awhile. It started on a recent vacation with Orlando Bloom. Kerr was uncharacteristically bitchy. So Bloom had to go around apologizing for her. He also made some explanation. Bloom told hotel staff that Kerr was not her usual effervescent self because she was in the family way. Now this wasn't an official statement, but since it came from her new husband, everyone assumed he knew what he was talking about, and went with the story. That only left it to Kerr herself to confirm the story. Well Kerr has finally come out and made it official. Here's a short video clip on that:
Dr Laura still didn't mean shat she said
In other news disgraced radio busybody Dr Laura Schlessinger is still trying to salvage the remnants of her media career. The good doctor blew it when she used the N word repeatedly during a conversation with a caller seeking advice on dealing with racist in laws. Dr L also told the woman to lighten up and to have a sense of humor.
That went over about as well as expected. Sponsors balked and soon Dr Laura announced she would be leaving her long running radio show to continue the good fight in a less restrictive medium, like blogging. She insisted that her 1st amendment rights to be as offensive as she wants to be were being curtailed. She mentioned nothing about her employers right to cut loose someone who gone from an asset to a liability in about 60 seconds.
Dr Laura has had some support. Former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin tweeted words of encouragement to Laura, telling the good doctor to reload instead of retreating. Now since an endorsement from Palin is about as good as a baby food endorsement from Chinese melamine manufacturers, Laura probably figured that she needed to do something else to save what's left of whatever public image she ever had.
So Schlessinger gave an interview to the Hollywood Reporter. Schlessinger is never at a loss for words - so the interview ran on and on. Most of it is what you'd expect: Laura talking about her views, her rights, her hurt feelings - she's the very heart of sensitivity! She also mentions that she might be taking her show onto Sirius XM (I hope she knows that's Illuminati owned - the dog star is sacred to that bunch!). However at one point during the interview she mentions that she was talking the whole brouhaha out with some friends over dinner. One of the friends was black, and the other was gay. They all had a good laugh about it. Here's what Laura said:
Schlessinger: I went out to dinner with three friends after Larry King (on Wednesday). One of my friends who is gay is sitting there with another friend who is black, and he looks up and says, "I wonder what the media would do with this? You're with a black guy and a gay guy." We laughed, because we all understand what this is really about -- censoring a point of view.
So now you know that some of her best friends are black and gay (BTW the black guy is probably her bodyguard - the same one she likes to play basketball with cause white guys can't jump. He might also be the gay guy. I can't imagine Dr Laura having 3 friends these days.) ! In the interview Laura also goes on to say that she never called gays a biological error, that she opposes same sex marriage because she believes that men should still pay for dates - but they shouldn't get anything, and dismisses some of the wilder rumors about herself: like she's had affairs with married men, was pregnant before marriage (she hedged on that one), and that she has a slew of illegitimate children that no one knows about. Oh yeah, she also discusses which movies and popular songs she hates, and goes on at length about what's wrong with America today (basically the problem is that no one is listening to Laura - but you've heard that before).
You can read the full interview @ Yahoonews, where you can also find out about Laura's latest merchandising enterprises, like her new book on betrayal and revenge, plus her new IPhone app "Dr Laura's Moral Compass". She describes it as like a Magic 8 Ball you use for relationship advice. Apps are big so that might be promising, though it only has a limited number of responses so far. They include "you're acting like an unpaid whore", "that's not love, it's called humping", and "go do the right thing". So basically the you can have the full Dr Laura radio experience without the show!
Aniston offends mentally disabled by comparing them to actors
BTW Dr Laura isn't the only one who had an unfortunate attack of foot in mouth. Jennifer Aniston had a Dr Laura Moment on a recent Regis and Kelly appearance. Jennipooh was answering some questions about her recent Babara Streisand tribute. Streisand is a show business god, who's name even makes spell check; and was reportedly pleased with the shoots (in entertainment flattery is the sincerest form of flattery!). So this should have been a bright shining moment for Aniston.
Things went sour when Regis - that rascal - commented that Aniston was basically playing dress up. Aniston replied that's what she did for a living, and then added "just like a retard". So naturally some folk were none too pleased. Spokespersons for the mentally disabled were mad.
Actor's might have been even more peeved. After all Aniston was using the term to describe the acting profession. So she might as well have said "We're just a big bunch of retards in this business". Now considering how seriously every one in the entertainment business takes them selves this was a collective slap in the face! That would have to be extra insulting considering how supportive the Hollywood community has been to her after Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from her. So basically Aniston's career as she knew it is over. Let's take a look at the moment when it went down the drain.
Now you can't blame Aniston for being a bit ungrateful Sure she's had some good movies and a string of success. However it's got to grate playing pathetic single women who can't get laid in film after film after film. This has got to be at least the second movie in which one of Aniston's main romantic interests has been a turkey baster. That's got to hurt. So something was bound to slip out sooner or later.
Besides, the in-Hollywood fall out from this is bound to give Aniston more time to search for real love in real life. It's an ill wind that blows no good - though you still might want to watch what you say. That is unless your supermodel girlfriend is pregnant - then go ahead and shoot from the lip!
How much does a really smart A List hair style cost? If you're Liv Tyler it could run up to $200 000! To be clear that not only includes the cost of the hair cut, but also all the additional charges that could get run up on your credit card without your knowledge. Lovely Liv favors a salon called Chez Gabriela Studio, run by Maria Gabriela Perez. Perez boasts an A List clientele including the likes of Cher, Jennifer Aniston, and Anne Hathaway. It's not only the glitterati that are beating a path to her door. Wednesday afternoon the Secret Service dropped by with an arrest warrant.
Allegedly Ms Perez was making free and easy with the credit card numbers of some of her celebrity clients. Ms Tyler, in particular, got hit up for 214 000 over the course of 5 months! She's also accused of running up 68 000 in charges on the card of an unnamed jewelry designers. This is heavy shit, and could land the hair stylist in the klink for as much as 25 years!
Jennifer Aniston was a former client of Chez Gabriella, but left after a falling out. Jen says: "We had a situation that was not cool, so I stopped going to her. Paid her the money and left. ... I knew something like this would eventually happen." A lawyer for Perez says: "At this time she is innocent of all charges. She is a legitimate business woman who provides legitimate services. We are confidant when the facts come out my client will be exonerated of all charges." Ms Perez better hope that some of her lawyer's faith in her rubs off on the Secret Service!
Annie get your gun
In other news Sarah Palin has shown that she just doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. Sarah had just cracked the difficult Levi Johnston problem. According to a story in the National Enquirer Palin felt that she had no chance as a 2012 presidential run as long as Levi was running his mouth publicly about her. So she lured him into a false sense of security by urging Bristol to get friendly with him, and invite him to spent quality time with the family.
The plan worked and Levi retracted all the stuff he said. He claimed that it was merely youthful indiscretion on his part. Damned by his own retraction anything he might say in the future would be regarded skeptically. However the plan hit a snag when Bristol and Levi announced their engagement and plans for a reality TV show. Sarah didn't see that one coming. When the news broke that Levi had knocked up another young woman - a childhood friend of Bristol's - the engagement was off and everything was coming up Sarah.
Soon Sarah herself would put a spanner in the works. The former Alaskan governor has recently coming out voicing support for disgraced radio shrink Dr Laura Schlessinger. Schlessinger got into a heap of trouble for using the N word repeatedly on air in response to a woman calling for advice on dealing with racist in laws. That lead to a speedy mea culpa on the partof Ms Schlessinger, and eventually her retirement announcement.
Palin has taken to twitter to support Schlessinger, claiming that she believes that Dr Laura's 1st amendment right to use racial charged language has been suppressed. Below are Palin's tweets:
Now it should be pointed out that Schlessinger's right to use racist language has not been suppressed. She can stick her head out the window and holler the N word at passer bys to her heart's content if that's what she wishes. However privately owned radio concerns don't owe her a forum. That's the technicality on which Dr Laura's persecution argument falls down. To give Laura credit, she's claiming that she will continue to voice her controversial opinions on her own time, and at her own expense, by way of youtube and the blogosphere. Freedom of speech within a free market context is as much as any conservative has a right to expect. No word yet on how this affects Palin's presidential hopes, but I don't think she's planning a Mel Gibson defense or anything.
Dr Laura is leaving her show when her contract expires. This comes in the wake of her controversial N word comments on a recent show. Dr Laura's racially charged blurt came in response to a caller who complained of having to deal with insensitive comments from her husband's white friends. Dr Laura claimed the woman was getting upset over nothing, and should try being less sensitive. Then - perhaps to help the woman toughen up, or maybe to amke a philosophical point - Laura blurted out the offensive term 7 or 8 times.
Now Laura ought to have known better. Many other high profile personalities have lost their careers through reckless disregard for there audiences' sensitivities: Don Imus, Michael Richards (who also seemed to be trying to make a 'philosophical point'), etc. Yet Laura seemed to think that she was on right side of the line. She was to find out differently in the ensuing controversy.
With a backlash of hate mail and sponsoring rushing to abandon ship, Laura seems to think that the heat medium of AM talk radio is the wrong forum for her reactionary conservative views. So on Larry King Live last night she announced that she's leaving. Dr Laura feels that the talk radio medium is too restrictive, and she wants the freedom to spout her views with out feeling censored by the feelings of her audience.
Dr Laura shouldn't have to be reminded that radio isn't only a platform for political views, it's also a business. The free market is something that Laura, as a conservative, is supposed to believe in. Therefore she can't really be too upset about this. Try thinking of it as a market readjustment rather than a free speech issue. Dr Laura as the right to say as many hateful and controversial things as she likes. However radio networks aren't obliged to provide her with a forum, nor are sponsors obliged to pay for it. If the powers that be feel Dr Laura has alienated key target groups then this becomes as much as free enterprise issue as anything else. Maybe that could be some comfort to Dr Laura as she contemplates her next career move - maybe she could get a blog?
When it rains it pours. First Michael Douglas' oldest son Cameron is arrested for drug trafficking, now the actor himself is diagnosed with throat cancer.
In other, less tragic, news Julia Roberts decision to convert to Hinduism has created turmoil at home. Roberts made the jump from Christianity to Hinduism while filming Eat Pray Love in India. She was so taken with the teachings on meditation and reincarnation that she even had her children renamed after Hindu gods and goddesses, and had the production blessed by a swami (hopefully not the same guy who predicted that Brad Pitt would dump Angelina Jolie to go back to Jennifer Aniston several years ago).
The children is where the trouble comes in. Julia's husband Danny Moder is Catholic, and is outraged that Roberts would take her children out of the fold and into some heathen religion. As a matter of fact the couple have had so many blow ups over it that sources are referring to it as a domestic holy war. Danny's dad and Julia's Mom aren't thrilled about Julia's new religious convictions either, not to mention the possible effects of full tilt veganism on her children's development. Young Americans don't grow up to be strong healthy linebackers on a diet of tofu & lentils!
Not that the concerns of family and friends would deter Julia - when she wants something she goes for it (That's how she got Danny). So sorting this mess out sounds like a job for Oprah Winfrey (who'd better step in before Bill O Reilly accuses Roberts of undermining Christianity).
Speaking of making an uproar, the trailer for Joaquin Phoenix new flick I'm Still Here is out, and here it is!
More trouble for Mel Gibson. The Oscar winning actor has had his ups and downs ever since his notorious Malibu squad car freak out. That's the one where he got busted for impaired driving and made a bunch of anti Semitic remarks in the back of a sheriff's dept car. He also called a female officer "sugartits". Since then he had a high profile break up with his wife Robyn, and an even higher profile break up with his ex mistress - gold digging skank Oksana Griegoriva.
As if this wasn't trouble enough Mel has had some more bother behind the wheel. Seems Mr Gibson was motoring around Malibu Sunday last when his car mysteriously left the road. Then it collided with a rock. Since that would be an odd thing to do on purpose the sheriff's dept came out to investigate.
The Sheriff's dept was quick to issue a statement too. Given Mel's colourful history with the bottle the first thing Malibu's finest wanted to do was address what was on everyone's mind. According to the professionals Mel was not drunk and alcohol is not a suspected contributing factor. As confirmation of that officers on the scene report that Gibson was both alert and cooperative. Mel himself stated that he was not talking on the phone - another vice that gets him in trouble; nor had he dosed off. As to what caused the 2008 Maserati to veer of the road, investigating officer Leland Tang says that it has been ruled an accident, which might have happened to anybody.
If you're disgraced former celebrity looking out for a hook up you've got limited options. However if you're Jesse James some one will come along. For one thing Jesse has well defined tastes. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are plenty of available women. Now Jesse has a thing for tattooed white power stripper types. Many of the young women recently featured in scandal fall into that category. Tiger Woods alone has about a dozen cast offs any one of whom could be a good match for JJ.
Jesse has managed to find someone. The former Mr. Bullock was seen out and about with none other than Kat von D. Now if you'll recall Ms. von D has her fair share of tattoos. Not only that but she is rumored to have a casual interest in white supremacy. With so many people out there who wouldn't be caught dead with either of them. So that made them a natural pair up.
According to People the pair were seen chowing down at Palms Casino Resort's N9NE. They did more than eat too. The pair worked their way up to holding hands and eventually left together in a Black Mercedes. Now we can only imagine what happened after that, but it's safe to assume that some sort of reality TV scheme was in the works.
BTW the picture say it all: she's grinning like a soulless whore and he looks like he got hit by lightening. Remember - get rich & famous and that could be you, too.
What kind of people are the Salahi's? Well they're the kind of people who can get high powered Washington operators like Desiree Rodgers fired. Desiree was the White House social director who got canned after the Salahi's gate crashed an Obama event. They can also get things heated up on The View. After the White House stunt some View resident liberals (that's everyone except Elizabeth Hasselbeck - but she might be coming around) made some strong statements like the Salahi's are criminal and should be locked up. Even though this seems obvious, even without the White House stunt, the Salahi's took exception and decided to sue. They also claim that Whoopee Goldberg roughed them up, verbally that is.
The Salahi's are also the kind of folk who can get sued by they former manager Mahogany Jones. The gruesome twosome owe Jones a significant amount of money and that's let to a law suit of it's own. That's also started Mahogany's tongue wagging. Mahogany describes the Sahali's as soulless sociopathic grifters who can seem nice at first but who will stop at nothing to get what they want - and what they want is publicity. At least that's what she told Geraldo:
Now that's some pretty strong language, especially there towards then end. It seems like the Salahi's have a way of getting folk hot and bothered. So then it's unfortunate that they have an insatiable desire of publicity. Maybe they should try taking the sage advice that TV Mom Shirley Jones gave to Mel Gibson by way of Hollywood TV:
BTW Hollywood TV seemed to be stalking TV moms that night. Shortly before pouncing on Shirley Jones they surprised Meredith Baxter. They pounced on her out side the Geffen Playhouse in Westwood:
Meredith's advice and response was fairly sensible. Then again she's been out of the business for a while, maybe long enough to return to her senses.
Meredith wasn't the only TV Mom - Florence Henderson also had some compassionate words!
She has a heart! Well God bless her. Looks like Hollywod TV tracked down every TV Mom except Marge Simpson on this. In case you're wondering what they'e all doing out side the Geffen theater, Dick Van Dyke was performing there.
Good ole Dick can still pack 'em in. What's more he had some genuinely useful advice - "Hide out!". Sooner or later fame comes to that.
They Salahi's aren't hiding out, but are getting a bit much with their series of annoying poses and their constant publicity hounding. It also seems like there aren't too many lines that they wouldn't cross to get to the top of the Celebrity D List ladder. At least no one has gotten hurt yet, except possibly Desiree Rodgers - who lost her White House job after the Salahi's pulled that infamous stunt. It might be worth while to remind them that fame isn't much of a game since there's no challenge at all to getting attention. Just take the ladies of Comic Con for instance. They can turn the world on with just their smile, & some eye catching co play gear.
BTW for the many Gary Spaceman Bell fans - here's his latest show.
Now that's conspiracy theorizing! Let's see Tila Tequila top that!
"Love can be crazy sometimes" according to Vivica Fox. Vivica should know since she's dating club promoter Slimm. Not that Slimm sounds particular crazy. In fact he can be oddly business like in affairs of the heart, which may sounds crazy to the romantics out there.
"don't take this personally - but get lost"
The odd business like part is Slimm's recent dumping of Vivica by memo. Slimm recently publication released a memo announcing that he and Vivica were no longer together. Trouble is that this was the first Viv had heard about it. So basically she got dumped by general release memo. Maybe it would be less humiliating if she tried thinking of it as a 'romantic cut back'.
love is never having to say you're sorry by a memo
Anyway Slimm releases another memo the next day taking back the dumping. In other words he announced that he and Viv were back together. No word on what was behind the sudden flip flop. Perhaps the memo wasn't supposed to go out until next week? Love is never being the last one to know - though fame usually means that.
celebrity nuisance attacked by enraged mob
In other news Tila Tequila got the shit beat out of her. Tila was playing at some event called A Gathering of Juggaloos - which sounds like some kind of low end Lalapalooza. AS soon as Tila went out on stage to perform the shit hit - literally. Tila claims that fans got enraged and started pulling portapotties apart so that they could heave shit at her. Then they started throwing bottles, bricks, and anything they could lift and hurl in her general direction.
Here's Tila's account of the Battle at Faygo:
"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage."
These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!"
The security - which Tila describes as "shitty" - finally got it together and hustled her off the stage Then, in a - "I swear I thought turkeys could fly" moment, a crowd of 2000 pursued Tila and her 3 security guards to a trailer they had sought refuge in. The enraged mob then started smashing windows and trying to push the walls in. Meanwhile Team Tila sat shaking inside. Now that's more or less the first hand story that Tequila gave to TMZ, and other celebrity web sites. Police are confirming that something bad nearly went down - but won't give details. This does give Tila something to blog about over @ OMGMissTila. Like PerezHilton, Tila not only brings you the news but is often actively involved in the story.
Dr. Laura Schlesinger can be pretty abrupt. Her recent show is no except. When confronted by caller Jade (probably not her real name) who complained about having to deal with racist house guests since getting into an inter racial marriage - Laura told the woman to lighten up. After asking the woman whether she was one of those hyper sensitive types, Dr. S went on to tell the woman that she should try to see the humour in her guests degrading and disrespectful comments. "You saw the movie 'White Guys Can't Jump' right, and that was funny!"
not racist, just rhetorically ham fisted
Dr Laura has gone on to apologize for her comments. She's claims that she was trying to make a philosophical point and got carried away. She also claims that she was immediately mortified. She did infant pull out of the last hour of her show - probably with her career flashing in front of her eyes.
"Damn! The only way I can come back from something like this is by coming out as gay!"
Maybe Laura was trying to make some point about racial over sensitivity: when are overt references to race not racist? However she picked a half assed way of doing it. In fact she seems so determined that she missed the answer she usually gives other callers in similar non race related situations; that you have the right to bar anyone dangerous, crazy, or annoying from your home. Dr Laura might find her own show banned from people's homes as the public tries to decided if she's moved from the annoying category into the other 2.
"What was I thinking? I can't get away with that in the cut throat talk radio market!!"
Still you've got to hope that Schlessie pulls out of this. Despite her faults and excesses she is entertaining. Besides do you really want to see her go onto a career in rehabbing wayward celebrities?
What would tabloid journalism be without occasional forays in to bizarre human interest stories. Though many of these stories involve people angling for reality TV deals. a reliable number are still health a lifestyle related. People have a natural interest in trying to learn to live better. Part of that learning process naturally covers what can go wrong in the attempt to live better.
Take the following story of a senior citizen. When he felt that something was growing in his lung doctors told him that it was probably cancer so prepare for the worst. However once they went inside they found small pea sprout growing inside his lung. Here's the story straight from Toronto's Metrodaily:
proof: vegetables cause positive cancer tests!
So eating harmful vegetables not only caused a positive cancer test result, but even required surgical intervention to remove the offending produce item! The remaining question is how could such a bizarre situation occur? It was probably by way of some high intensity nagging over improving diet and health. The only thing that saved this misadventure in health consciousness from becoming a catastrophe was the absence of medical malpractice - and you know that you can't count on that! So watch out for your health by avoiding dangerous vegetable intake. No one ever got a pork chop stuck in their lung, except on a couple of Simpsons' episodes!
hits and misses
Speaking of someone who could use some lifestyle consciousness, Tiger Woods has been having a terrible time. Since his game got skanked up the poor man is having a hard time even hitting the ball, let alone sinking them it. When he does hit the ball, it sometimes winds up hitting a spectator before it gets to the green. Now it appears that the poor man is even having some trouble hanging on to his club. Let's take a look see.
No word on whether the club got anywhere near a hole but I'd strongly doubt it.
America's Most Wanted
Tiger ain't the only famous person who's life is in turmoil. Flight attendant Steven Slater's life got flipped and turned upside down after a belligerent senior struck him in the head with her luggage. That lead to a beer fueled escape attempt from the rat race by way of the plane's emergency exit chute. Naturally that sort of thing can't be tolerated - if he gets away with it everyone will want to quit their jobs!So Mr Slater has found new rent free accommodations in one of the Bronx's finest correctional faculties. Now that they keep the poor fellow cooped up. They let him out to do occasional interviews, as in the following picture. Mr Slater is hustled through the waiting mob of paparazzi by an ABC News producer as if he were a football being carrying through a mass of linebackers.
This is an idea who's time has come! In the near future all celebrities might be detained in special detention facilities, and then let out for work and public appearances. It would save the trouble of having to repeatedly try them. Besides rehab facilities aren't designed to hold such unstable persons!
How much does a really smart A List hair style cost? If you're 
What kind of people are 
